Caradoc Dearborn (forgetmedoc) wrote in cultureic, @ 2016-05-26 00:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | caradoc dearborn, suz dearborn |
WHO: Caradoc Dearborn & Suz MacDonald
WHEN: May 25, evening
WHERE: Doc's flat in Birmingham
SUMMARY: Doc stumbles into asking Suz about ~living together~ among other things.
WARNINGS: None!
“I still don’t get the point of having a blu-ray with no director or cast commentary,” Caradoc was telling Suz as he gathered the plates from the coffee table of his flat and brought them to the kitchen, Force Awakens credits rolling on the television in front of the sofa. “If you want me to do more than digital download give me some content! But I bought it anyway, so I guess I’m the idiot.” His thoughts spilled out in the sort of stream of consciousness way they tended to do when he was figuring out things alone - but he’d found Suz didn’t seem to mind the noise. “I’ll buy the bloody trilogy pack in six years if they have it on there instead, just like they want me to!” He laughed wryly. Thinking about anything not completely awful these days meant falling back on the classics: science fiction, music, and video games. It all sounded a bit hollow. Who cared about Star Wars, really? Barnabas and Broderick had been attacked, Alana and Rajan had been beaten to death, Sturgis was killed in his own flat. He frowned. Sturgis wouldn’t want him to stop caring about Star Wars. Doc swallowed, shoving the faucet handle up so water mixed with suds over the pizza grease on the dishes, mind drifting to the conversation he’d had with his sister and Emmeline. “It’s… the Hobbit all over…” his voice faded, distracted as he stared at a spot on the sink. Suz had followed Doc to the kitchen, propping herself against the counter as she watched his shoulders and listened to him ramble. But when he stopped talking, her head tilted to the side in concern before she realized it was probably because she wasn’t helping with the dishes. “I don’t think buying it makes you the idiot,” she said as she scooped up a towel and moved helpfully to his side, ready for him to hand the clean plates off to her. “You wanted it.” Mind zooming back into the present with her words, it took a second for Doc to remember what they were talking about. Then he smiled slowly, lifting his shoulders in a shrug and scrunching up his face. “Yeah, I really did,” he told her, as always her reassurance calming him slightly. He handed her a plate to dry and moved to start scrubbing the next one. “... do you think Mary would mind a keyboard in her room?” he asked suddenly after a pause. “Like, music keyboard piano-like, not - computer keyboard.” The abrupt subject change startled a laugh out of Suz and she glanced up at him as she turned over the plate in her hands to dry the other side. “Why?” she asked. But before he could answer she quickly added, “I mean, you would have to talk to her about that one. But she doesn’t play so I can’t imagine she’d need one…” Her words came slower towards the end as she furrowed her brow up at him, trying to figure out his question without giving him the chance to answer hers. Realising his brain had been about 5 steps ahead of their conversation again, he chuckled, a little embarrassed. “Er - sorry, yeah, I uh…” He let the water run over the plate in his hands for a moment as he tried to form his thoughts. “I was just… talking to Cyn. Awhile ago. Told her I’d be staying with you more often? And she was all ‘bout time you shacked up’ and I was like ‘shuuuut up you’re dumb we’re not moving in together’ and then Emme was talking about how nice living with Benjy is…” He reached up and started scratching his neck but stopped once he remembered the water and soap. “So then I was like, thinking… about how our stuff would fit in one flat…?” Even as she followed his story with a smile on her face, Suz was of two minds about the whole thing. There was Barnabas and Broderick, of course, and the fact that she would never forgive herself if Death Eaters ever made her hurt Caradoc. But hadn’t her New Years resolution been something like not telling herself no? But then, wasn’t it selfish to put her own happiness before his safety? But then, wasn’t he basically already living with her anyway? Wasn’t it too late to back out? Wasn’t she that much in love with him? As her brain rapidly cycled through all her questions, her poker face of a smile was still firmly in place. All at once, though, it dawned on her that in a normal world that question would’ve been one of the best he could ask. Normal Suz wouldn’t have taken the handful of seconds it took her to answer normal Doc’s normal question. She might’ve laughed at the cute way he’d gone about asking it or immediately asked if he meant her flat or his flat or an entirely new flat that was just theirs. For a moment, her smile wavered and her eyes dropped to the towel and the plate still in her hands. But then her smile came back wider and she set both things down to step in closer to him, reaching out to brush away the suds from back of his neck with her fingers as she asked, “You want to move in with me?” Doc’s cringe was mostly for show now in response to that smile. He loved that smile. His mind spent most of the day racing but that smile always stopped it in its tracks. “Maaaaaybe…?” he offered, in a way that was obvious how much the answer was ‘yes’. “If you want to?” he continued, thick brows lifted in question. “Or you with me if you think this would work better. Or somewhere else entirely, even, but yeah - with you. I’m starting to run out of excuses to spend pretty much every minute of spare time over there. Or have you come here.” She seemed to be considering it so he let out a shaky chuckle. “Like you need an excuse,” Suz said, letting her hand rest against the side of his neck when the soap was mostly gone. Not needing an excuse or needing to pack an overnight bag or sending him home with his was a tempting thought. So much so that her smile wouldn’t disappear entirely even when her eyes went uncertain and her fingertips roamed nervously down to his shoulder. “You’re sure, though? After…” She trailed off. She didn’t have to recap the past few weeks for him. “Yeah,” he replied, the answer coming easier than he’d have thought. He set the plate to the side and shook off his hands as best as he could, turning to face her more straight on and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I think we’re safer together, overall. I think… we’re happier together. And if we’re not safe anyway then we’ll be happier… not… safe… people…” He squinted at himself and shook his head. “I’m sure.” There was an uncomfortable twist in his stomach as he considered, his brow furrowing slightly as he looked down into her brown eyes. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen, Suz. I thought we’d be okay. For awhile. I don’t know now. But like… if we end up not, I still don’t think anything could ever make me regret being with you? And I don’t think us being together is really going to change… whatever might or might not happen. So I want to.” “I want to, too,” she said, the corners of her mouth tilting up a little further because she did really want to. But then she sobered as she thought of all the drawbacks again. “Let’s promise that no matter what happens we’ll be okay. Like, us. Our relationship.” She paused briefly, but then her words started to tumble into one another as she continued. “I know it goes without saying, but I’d just feel better if we had like, something more official holding us to it.” She paused again for a deep breath and then gave him an uncertain smile, her eyes searching his face. “Does that make sense?” “Yeah. Like a promise that - whatever happens, we’ll do this together, right?” It was a relief to hear it, even if he knew it. For someone who overanalyzed and second and third guessed everything, spoken, real, tangible assurance - those things in a promise were a comfort. “We’ve got enough to worry about, if we don’t ever have to worry about that... “ If he didn’t have to be afraid one day he’d take things with the Order too far and she wouldn’t look at him the same, or she didn’t ever have to worry about whether or not he wanted to stay around her whatever consequences that meant… Caradoc moved his hands around to her hips, pulling her closer and then sliding them around the the small of her back. The gears in his mind turned over one option to the next before his brows lifted in realisation. “We could get married?” For a moment, Suz could only blink up at Doc. “Married?” No one had ever asked her to marry them before. “To each other?” Her free hand went to the middle of her chest, her index finger pointed right at her chin. “Me?” Doc’s eyes shot to the side as if there was someone else in the room then moved back to her, his expression a bit incredulous. “You’re the only one I’d want to marry so…” The idea of marriage started sinking in with every word though, and he laughed out of nerves that had started spiking up. “We don’t have to - obviously, or we don’t need to like right now or anything, but if I promise that I’m always going to be here like, for the rest of our lives - however long that is - that’s basically what it means? So I said it? Should I not have said it??” His fingers curled nervously into the fabric of her shirt and red has risen up his neck almost immediately. “No!” Suz practically shouted in the otherwise quiet kitchen. And then, because she realized it probably wasn’t the best idea to say a word like ‘no’ when marriage proposals were on the table, she quickly added, “No, I mean, you should’ve said it.” She was getting flustered and her own cheeks were starting to burn red with embarrassment. “But no, you’re right. I mean, no.” Why did she keep saying no? “Yes, that is basically what it means. And yes, we could get married and you’re the only one I want to marry.” She took a deep breath and gave him a nervous smile. “So yes.” Caradoc started to let out a slow breath, the nervous smile he wore through all the ‘no’s’ evolving into a dumbfounded grin and he cocked his head, still looking bewildered by the whole thing. He asked about marriage, and she said that was a thing she wanted to do. Wait - what?? “Did we just get engaged?” The question was a genuine one. “Yes,” Suz said with a decisive nod and a wide smile, almost afraid to say anything more on the off chance she’d give Doc about five more no’s. The longer her yes was out there, the more she found she meant it. She didn’t want him thinking she meant no! So instead of saying anything else, she slowly looped her arms around his neck and rose to her tiptoes so she could pull him in for a kiss. He bent to meet her easily, his hands sliding around her smaller frame to wrap his arms around her as he kissed her back. Caradoc Dearborn always imagined this decision would be fraught with anxiety like every other one in his life, and that fear of no going back and wondering if he’d be a good husband would wind him up before he ever actually got the guts to propose to someone. And yet, here, with her arms around him and it being Suzu, his Suz, of all people, his nerves disappeared. Maybe they’d come back later, maybe they’d rear their heads at every other little decision after this one, but this commitment wasn’t something he’d ever second-guess and he knew it in that moment now more than ever. Breaking the kiss reluctantly, he kept his face close to hers, long nose pressed haphazardly to her cheek. “I love you,” he reminded her, as if there were any question. “I love you, and you should tell me what you want your ring to look like and I’ll get my mum to help me pick out a good one because every diamond looks the same to me - or she could make you one if you like her stuff enough, but they’re more ‘artsy’ than like ‘engagement’ but…” He pulled back just enough to gaze at her happily. “Do you think everyone’s never going to believe this or do you think they’ll be all ‘about bloody time!!’ again?” |