#deadwent shrimpling, mocker of sacred robes (derwents) wrote in cultureic, @ 2016-02-16 21:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! media: wizvis, derwent shimpling |
[Valentine’s episode! Derwent is dressed in an eye-wateringly bright red suit, covered in hearts, and his moustache sparkles with pink glitter as he beams at the camera.] DS: Good evening, viewers, and welcome to Valentine’s Day with your host, Derwent Shimpling! If you were alone over the weekend, rest assured that sheer, giddy, chemo-magically-induced romantic contentment can still be obtained. If you find yourself in need of an elated pick-me-up, just look for the tiny flying babies in diapers. [A cupid flutters aimlessly past, apparently borrowed from Diagon Alley for the broadcast. A warning flashes briefly on the screen: WIZVIS DOES NOT CONDONE CUPID DOSING!!!] DS: We hope everyone’s spirits are high. Tonight’s episode is just to celebrate life, really: love, companionship, my new vampiric friend Darque, and the crucial message that life does go on. It’s Valentine’s Day, and we still stand. [A fleeting grin. A brief hint of him going off-script.] [After a few skits and the commercial break, he returns wearing an anonymous troll mask, seated opposite a figure dressed identically to him. Their mouths move and they try to carry on a spirited debate, their voices muffled and indecipherable through the masks.] [The other figure is all in black (but no hood). The pair of them get increasingly agitated, mumbling and waving their arms at one another, before finally ripping off their masks and gasping for breath.] DS: What were you trying to say? GUEST: I was making an ominous proclamation to our viewers. DS: I thought I was making a vague, generalised, ominous message to our viewers! GUEST: Well…... this is awkward. [They look at each other for a bit longer, before shrugging and breaking into a pile of discounted chocolates.]
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