Glenna Goyle (glenna) wrote in cultureic, @ 2016-02-04 18:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | jacob sloper, ~ glenna goyle |
WHO: Jacob Sloper & Glenna Goyle
WHAT: Some sound advice from Deputy Head Sloper.
WHEN: BACKDATED to Monday, Feb. 1st
WHERE: Outside a coffee shop.
Holding the door open for Glenna as they exited the coffee shop he'd taken her to after work, Jacob fiddled idly with the takeout cup in his free hand. It was inevitable, the conversation that was coming, but it still filled him with a selfish kind of dread. It had been years since he'd actually had to tell someone about his affliction. Hell, not since the whole thing had started and Bea had found out. That had always helped, in a way. He and Bea were the same in a lot of ways, taciturn and grumpy, so they rarely ever talked about it. Which kept it secret enough that Jacob could try his best to just lock it away; keep it as far away from his 'real' life as he possibly could, keep it from bleeding out too much. But Glenna needed help, which meant that the lock needed to be opened and someone else had to be let in, as much as the idea petrified Jacob. So once there were a ways away from the coffee shop and there was noone in earshot, he spoke up, "How was your first full moon?" Glenna, too, was trying to lock a lot away - her feelings of guilt over not having done enough to prevent this, the stress and humiliation of a very public outing, her shame at having kept this from her (now-estranged) family and friends. Normally, she was pretty good pretending she wasn’t a very serious person, but it was difficult (if not impossible) to keep faking carefree Bohemianism now that everyone knew the whole thing was a sham to distract from the awful truth. As she walked alongside Jacob, head down, hands stuffed deep into her pockets, she wondered how she was going to going to answer him without breaking into tears yet again. She liked Jacob. She respected him. He shouldn’t have to deal with this shit. She swallowed all her feelings and spoke quietly, “Horrible. Terrifying. A bunch of other words like that. I don’t know - it’s fucking bullshit is what it is.” She shrugged bitterly. “But what can you do?” Jacob sighed and mirrored Glenna's shrug, "Prepare. Make sure you've covered every base you can. It's not much, but it can help." Even for someone as emotionally blind as Jacob, the change in his co-worker's mood was obvious. It reminded him all too much of how he'd been since his first turn; the slow, steady slide into anger, sadness, and guilt that he could see happening and do nothing to change. Wasting away and withdrawing. "Have you found somewhere safe to change? Somewhere you can go back to for the next one?" Glenna crossed her arms and frowned, not at Jacob but at the unfairness of it all - you try to do a good thing, and what do you get? Suffering and exile until you die? Great. Just great. Sure, she still had friends that were sticking by her, but how long until they changed their minds? Eventually, she’d be alone. Completely and utterly alone. Glenna was so lost in self-pity and self-loathing that initially, Jacob’s question didn’t even register. “Next - ? Oh. I don’t know. I stayed home last time, but now my roommate’s left, so maybe that was a shit idea. I guess I’ll figure something else out. I never did like Birmingham, anyway.” she said distractedly. "I can - I'll help you find something more permanent. More private. I've scouted out lots of places before…" Jacob trailed off, letting the implication hang there, hoping he wouldn't have to say it. “Really? That would be great. Well, not great. There’s nothing great about it. But I appreciate it,” Glenna said, the implication going over her head completely. Jacob had been a Critter for much longer than she had. Surely he knew the sort of places people went better than she did. Jacob nodded along, taking a sip of his coffee to try and ease the lump in his throat. "And if we can't find you somewhere in time, you can come with me. There's an old abandoned coal mine up North, should be able to find a decent side cave you can shelter in." "I've been going there for the last few months now. When I turn." Glenna stopped dead in her tracks, looking at Jacob as though he’d just sprouted a set of antlers. Her jaw dropped. “You - ? You’re - ?” she said, her voice no more than a whisper. Not wanting to make a scene, she quickly caught herself and kept walking alongside him. “Jake, I never realised.” she said in a hushed tone, eyes darting to and fro to make sure no-one else was around to hear. “For how long? Does anyone else… does Bea know?” "Bea knows." Jacob quietly replied, his mood awkward and dour. "She's known since the start, it's been - Christ, it's been five years now. I was on a job for the Department, like you were, and I got bit, like you were." "Noone else in the Department knows - Hell, noone else in the Ministry knows." He took another sip from his coffee and shrugged, "I've been lucky, I guess." “Wow. Shit, dude. I’m sorry. I feel like a real asshole now, I never noticed.” Glenna said, looking guilty despite the fact that not having noticed anything was amiss was probably a good thing. “So… it’s been. It’s been alright? I mean, as alright as it can be, but.” Glenna paused, never having really considered the fact that someone with the same affliction could be living a relatively normal life right under her nose. She knew better than to be optimistic, but it was still comforting in some small way. She hesitated before asking. “Do you ever, you know, get used to it?” Jacob turned to face Glenna, watching her for a few long moments, his expression grim. "Do you want me to tell the truth?" Glenna considered his question for a moment before nodding silently. Jacob nodded in turn. A beat. And then, "You never get used to it - At least, I haven't. It always hurts, you always feel sick, the moon coming on always makes you feel angry and frustrated and scared. Even the things you can get used to, like the lying to everyone around you? Having to tell people that you 'got mugged' or that you were 'there the whole time'? That just makes you feel like shit." He was silent for a moment and then, realising how dark a cloud he'd cast over the both of them, he tried to give it a little silver lining. "You won't have to lie, at least. I hope that helps." At least if there was one good thing about her furry little secret being aired publicly on the journals, it was that. Lying since Christmas had been hard. Now that her status was out in the open, however, she no longer had to dread that possibility. Some people were going to hate her for what she was, but at least now, she would not have to wonder who they would be. “Yeah. That makes sense. All of it.” Glenna said. It was a miserable situation to bond over, but at least she felt a little less alone in this. Maybe - just maybe - she stood a chance at keeping her shit together throughout all of this. “Thanks, Jake.” Hesitant and more than a little awkward, Jacob reached up with his free hand and set it over Glenna's shoulder. "It's what I'm here for." |