donnie abercrombie, skilled purist assassin (![]() ![]() @ 2016-10-15 21:45:00 |
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Entry tags: | donald abercrombie |
WHO: Donnie Abercrombie, with mentions of others.
WHAT: A history of civil disobedience.
WHEN: 2003 - 15 October 2016.
WHERE: Hogwarts, Edinburgh, Knockturn Alley...
WARNINGS: Language! Donnie being Donnie! So many references to communism!
"Donald Abercrombie." A pause. Chuckles ripples throughout the room. "Donald...Abercrombie…" Binns hovers weightlessly and pees around the classroom. "Has anyone seen Donald?" Octavius and Galvin exchange glances and the laughs get louder. Across the room, through a tiny crack in the doorway, a boy with shockingly red hair begins a slow march up and down the corridor. He is dressed not in the typical Hogwarts uniform but in bright yellow trousers, a pink t-shirt and a long trench coat. He is chanting quietly: uniforms are oppressive. Down with uniforms, arms spread out and a look of pure joy on his face. "Mum, Dad. I have to tell you something." Roderick and Eilidh are no strangers to this statement. (A brief sampling of the times Donnie has had something to tell them: 2001: "I want to wear a dress to my first day of Hogwarts!" And so on, and so forth.) Donnie clears his throat and raises an arm in a dramatic flourish, but before he can speak— "He's not going to sit his NEWTs!" Florence bursts out. Donnie glares at her and kicks her under the table. "You ruined my element of surprise!" he whines. Flor sticks out her tongue. Roderick closes his eyes and breathes out a sigh. "Donnie. Donnie. We're not strict, are we?" (Donnie looks away and pointedly ignores the question, unwilling to admit that no, they're not strict at all.) "We don't have a lot of rules. In fact, one of our very few requirements is that you complete your education." "Standardised testing is completely idiotic! What if I want to just, oh I dunno, leave you lot and go live as a Muggle for the rest of my life after Hogwarts? What THEN? Steve Jobs never finished school, you know!" There's a brief silence following the outburst, and then: "He's right, you know." Eilidh smiles at her youngest son. "But! You're not Steve Jobs. Now, finish your dinner, kids, we've got a lot of presents to wrap." Donnie Abercrombie, Gryffindor Transfiguration NEWTs Essay The history of all previous societies has been the history of class struggle All property ownership is theft Religion is the opiate of the masses Capital is dead labor Smash the patriarchy A brief history of the times that Donnie has been fired: 2006: From an ice cream shop down the road, for 'extreme tardiness' But this job is different. Carlotta Pinkstone is a legend. Donnie fondly remembers the fan site he created for her on Cherubfire.mag. He dressed as her for Halloween one year! And how many people get the chance to work for their idols??? Besides, they're both vigilantes, which means she can't blame him for doing what he's about to do. And considering the things he's done lately, and the thing he's about to do, it's really, really not that bad. His breath comes out in puffs of smoke as he stands in front of the expanse of brick wall in that little section that's not quite Diagon Alley, not quite Knockturn. He's mad and he's drunk, which is the perfect recipe for a night of mischief-making. With his wand, he engraves 'FUCK THE' into the brick but stops short when he realises that he's not quite sure what he's fucking. The DMLE? That's so obvious. The Death Eaters? Equally obvious. He sways a little bit, then finally settles on an answer. With a great flourish, he begins to finish the rest of his engraving, erasing the first two words and replacing it with 'REMEMBER ALL WHO HAVE', when the crack of a twig snapping behind him makes him drop his wand in a panic. The two size each other up for a moment before the other man nods curtly and heads on his way further into Knockturn. But after his conversation with Jonah, and Rodolphus Lestrange threatening Octavius over Hooter, and everyone dying all the fucking time, Donnie is shaken and remembers that he is so much better (and safer) sitting in front of his computer. So, he picks up his wand, hastily shoves it back into his pocket and walks quickly away from the scene of the beginnings of the 'crime.' As he walks, he pulls up Hooter on his phone, deciding to get an early start on his next little project. |