cozzybob (cozzybob) wrote in cozzybabbles, @ 2008-02-28 14:34:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | angel, angel the series, spangel, spike |
[BTVS/ATS] To Do What He Mustn't
To Do What He Mustn't
Rating: PG
Pairing: Angel/Spikeish (sort of) with references to That Slayer.
Disclaimer: Yah, dood, me iz Joss clone, yay!
Notes: All dialog has been taken from A Hole In The World, when Angel offers Spike the chance to leave WR&H. Written for slashthedrabble's prompt "freedom/escape."
Summary: A look on Spike's reasons for doing the things that he does.
"Look, I can't do this anymore."
Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. For him? For her because of him. For him in spite of her. For himself. For--
"Admitting defeat, are you?"
"You and me. This isn't working out."
No, to be the kind of man who would nev--
"Are you saying we should start annoying other people?"
No, no, he'd said this once already, two, three times already. Spike hated to repeat himself but William had never learned better because bad poetry had been etched into the backs of his eyelids so that every blinking moment he was persistently reminded of words like effulgence and burning little fishes and beneath me. There had been a time not so long ago when words like m'boy and Willy and mind your place brought forth just enough seething hatred to forget (much later he would also use such words as evil soulless thing and beneath me and disgusting), but then the words had been replaced with I'm sorry and go away Spike (and later: I don't love you, Spike and fuck me again, Spike and leave me alone, Spike), complete with the Distant Broody Stare Of Doom and several pints of irrational, gut-busting, pointy-wooden-stick-wielding outrage.
"I'm saying you should go."
"You really can't stand the competition, can you?"
"That isn't the--"
He had a passion for falling in love with those doomed to bring him harm. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it, it was his nature as love's bitch. A dirty job, but someone had to do it. To see the truth, see. To close his eyes and read the bad poetry and understand that a man falls in love, is scorned, and then he dies. He does what he mustn't because he has no choice. He does what he mustn't because what he must do doesn't seem right.
"The way I figure it, Lindsey brought you back as a spirit bound to this place so you'd become...invested in it. He only made you corporeal again once you'd gotten used to it, attached to it."
To leave them in such terrible places. To read the etchings in their own eyes and understand that they have a need to hurt him. And to know that he can take it.
"I'm not attached... I just don't have anywhere else to go."
No matter the reason.
--Fini