Spinning Wheels
Who: Christian and Tris Setting: up top, just after they scale the monorail track
It wasn’t his finest hours, but the climb had been long and arduous and Tris was exhausted when he got to the top. So, he’d collapsed to his knees the moment that he’d finally hauled himself back up onto solid ground, then pretty much faceplanted into the dust for a moment. He never, ever wanted to do something like that again. Being a hero fucking sucked.
He’d looked up then and mentally corrected that summary. Being a hero fucking sucked when you were a weedy musician who rarely saw the inside of a gym. Some other people, on the other hand, carried heroics off with ease. Fucking firemen and their damn muscles. He probably didn’t even have a hair out of place, unlike Tris, who felt like he was going to die.
Still, he’d made it to the top and he rolled himself onto his back, then forced himself to his feet. Adam had already disappeared - looking for Kyle and his kid, no doubt - and Ethan was doing some kind of slo mo romance thing toward Blake. Which made Tris look round, wondering where Christian was. Wondering if there was someone going to be waiting for him.
Christian had put himself to work. Talking with Zeke had made him even more anxious, wondering what he was doing and going in search of projects made waiting on Tris easier. He’d found more food in a backroom, handing it out and bottled water out. He’d found seat cushions and showed a few people how to use them as blankets. He’d even help move the ring toss game from its stand to a smaller version outside their camp so the kids around could do something. It was better than waiting and lining up bottles in perfect rows appealed to him. It was something he could control.
He’d seen Ethan move, keeping an eye on him the whole time, like he’d been instructed, but hadn’t thought much of it. Ethan had been pacing for a while now. It wasn’t until he heard someone shout and spotted Adam, Kyle’s Adam, that he realized what was going on. They were here. Which meant…
He stood up from where he was folding spare blankets, tidying up areas that didn’t need tidying and looked towards the door, then around. Had he not made it? Christian felt everything inside of him go tight as he abandoned his task, heading for the door. Someone would have told him right? They would have come to him and said Tris wasn’t here or he’d given up or something. That wasn’t something that would have been kept to themselves. “Tris?” he half shouted, stepping out the door and looking around.
Tris had been just about giving up, the insecure, abandoned boy that existed deep within him emerging to whisper in his ear that of course there would be nobody waiting for him. That he’d always known it was only a matter of time before Chris moved on. That even if there was no real reason for that to be today, bad things never came with notice.
When he heard his name called, Tris’ head shot up, looking around, feeling like he could almost choke on the relief. “Chris!” he called, his smile wide and bright, even if all his muscles hated him right now.
Oh thank God. Christian’s shoulders sagged in relief when he spotted his boyfriend, heading right for him. He cut a glance at Ethan wrapped up in Blake and bit back his own bit of jealousy. His focus was Tris. Who cared how Tris felt? It didn’t change to Christian felt about him. “You’re okay,” he said as soon as he was close, holding out a hand for Tris, but not sure what exactly he should do.
Tris caught the hand and pulled Chris in, taking another step forward so they met halfway in a kiss. “Never let me do anything like that again,” he said, when he finally broke away, resting his forehead against his boyfriend’s shoulder. “I’m depending on you to be the sensible one here.”
The kiss surprised Christian, but he went with it, fingers twisting in Tris’ shirt to hold on to him. “I tried to tell you not to,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around. “I was so worried. I want to shake you for being stupid, but I don’t want to let go.”
“See - you’re the smart one as well,” Tris said, turning his face into Christian’s neck. He nuzzled for a moment, then sighed and mumbled. “If my legs give way, you’ll carry me - right?”
“Of course,” Christian promised, though he wasn’t sure he’d be any good at that, but he would definitely try. He moved so Tris could lean on him and they could go inside. “What if we find somewhere for you to sit? Then you won’t fall on us.”
Tris shifted, raising his head with a little laugh. “Yeah - I don’t wanna fall,” he agreed. He took a breath. It was the right choice, he knew. Not to tell Christian about his tumble off the monorail. He was fine, barely even bruised. His boyfriend would just worry needlessly. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit.”
Christian wrapped his arm around Tris, holding him close. “I wouldn’t let you,” he promised. “Though you really shouldn’t have done that. Ethan was fine. I was watching him.” He hadn’t been himself, but he didn’t think Tris was that worried about him as he had been his best friend.
Tris glanced over to where his best friend was clearly having a heart to heart with his boyfriend. He looked back at Chris. “And Ethan was watching you,” he said with a smaller, tired looking smile. “I needed you to keep each other safe for me. God, I just… I don’t know what I would have done…”
Christian shook his head. “You’d have been fine,” he murmured softly, closing his eyes for a moment at how much he hated it. “But I wasn’t going to let anything happen. It’s just frustrating No one really got hurt. No one we know at least.”
Tris stopped and turned to Christian, hands on his shoulders. “I don’t want to be ‘fine’,” he said with some force. “I’ve spent my whole life being ‘fine’ and it fucking sucks. I want more than that.” Which, wow - that was true, but it also wasn’t ever something that Tris allowed himself to express. He lived most of his life not ever daring hope for something better, more scared that whatever he had would be taken away from him to even attempt to want something more than what he was offered.
Christian swallowed hard, looking over towards where Ethan was with Blake, then back at Tris. “What’s more?” he asked, his voice betraying how unsteady his thoughts were. He wanted to give Tris everything, all of it, but he wasn’t sure what Tris wanted.
“If they weren’t such dicks, would you want to introduce me to your parents?” Tris asked, fairly blurting out the question.
Christian blinked, not sure where that had come from. He reached up to touch Tris’ hands. “I want to introduce you to them even if they are...even if they don’t understand. I kind of think if they could see us, they might get it? But yes. The only reason I wouldn’t is to protect you from how cruel they can be.”
“I’d introduce you to mine. If I could,” Tris told him. “And you don’t have to protect me. I’ve dealt with cruel people before.”
“I’d love to meet them. If I could.” Christian frowned. “Yes, but they’re my parents. I’d rather you see their best sides. But I supposed they don’t have them anymore. What does this have to do with anything?”
Tris shifted, his eyes half going toward Blake and Ethan before he looked back at Chris. “It was something we were talking about - during the climb. Blake said he wanted to introduce Ethan to his parents and it just...got me thinking, I guess. I’ve never done that. I mean, clearly I could never bring anyone home but - nobody’s brought me home either. I’ve never done the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing.” It felt like ‘more’.
Christian bit his lip. “I want to take you home to meet my parents. I want to take you to their stupid dinners and campaign things, because it would make me happy.” He shifted on his feet. “The question is, is it my parents you want to meet or Ethan’s?” Especially with the way Blake bringing it up sparked the idea and the way Tris kept looking at Ethan.
Tris tensed up at the question. Then coughed a laugh, brushing it off. “Yours, of course,” he said, leaning in to brush a kiss over Christian’s lips. “Though, I’m not sure I’d be up for going to campaign events. A man has his limits.”
“Are you lying to me?” Christian asked, pulling back from the kiss. It hurt to ask, to even consider but he couldn’t help it. “No one likes that sort of shit, but it’s what you have to do when you’re the perfect son of a senator.” He shrugged. “You should come inside and sit, I can get you some water and something to eat or whatever.”
Tris shook his head. “No, I’m not… Why would I lie to you? Do I want to meet Ethan’s family? Yes, of course I do. Hell, I’ve already pretty much been adopted by most of them. But it’s not the same. You know it’s not the same.”
“I don't know. You keep looking over there and I'm starting to worry you wish he was with you and not Blake.” Christian sighed, willing back tears. “You want more but, you have everything he has. All of it.”
“Please Chris, can we just not do this right now? I just spent the entire day climbing the inside of a damn dome for you. I don’t have the energy for another round of your delusions that I’m only with you because you’re... convenient or some shit,” Tris snapped, exhaustion making him tactless now that the adrenalin had worn off.
“I didn't say that. All you had to say was ‘no’.” Christian turned, waving for Tris to follow. “Come on then. We can deal with it later.” His jaw was set, his shoulders squared. It was hard, loving someone who didn't love him back. “I'm glad you're safe and I'm glad you're here.”
“I said ‘no',” Tris pointed out, half to himself. He felt lost, wondering if this was what he came here for. A best friend who didn't need him and a boyfriend who didn't think he wanted to be here. “I came for you,” Tris said, because he felt something needed to be said. Something that would stop him feeling like he was failing.
It was enough to get Christian to turn back, looking at Tris for a long moment. He needed to just believe it didn't he? He needed to stop doubting it. He stepped back to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around Tris’ neck and pulling him into a kiss.
As Tris stooped a little to return the kiss, he felt the relief flooding through him. Maybe this was disaster averted. Maybe it would be okay. He smiled as he finally pulled away, feeling a little lighter. “I shouldn't leave you alone,” he teased. “Gives you far too much space to spin your wheels.”
Christian nodded. “I was lost without you,” he admitted softly. And he'd had time to come up with every horrible disaster that could happen. He looked up at Tris and kissed him lightly. “For the record, I want more too. Whatever it is.”
“I think I should move in,” Tris said, determinedly, though the thought of it was actually still terrifying to him. It felt like too much, too soon, but then again he'd never been one to take risks. Anyway, it was what Ethan had done - jumped right into living with his boyfriend and whilst Tris was very careful not to look in Ethan's direction again, he knew what he'd see. Blake and Ethan were deliriously happy together. Maybe Ethan had it right. So, Tris was going to try being more like Ethan.
“I..what?” Christian took a moment for that to click, but when it did his eyes went wide. “Really?” He shook his head. “Yes. I meant yes, you should. I want that. I'd love that.” He was babbling a little, but it was hard not to. “Yes.”
It was hard to regret a decision that made his boyfriend so clearly very happy. Just seeing Chris like that made Tris smile despite his misgivings. “Okay,” he agree. “Okay. We'll...do that then.”
Christian laughed a little then pulled Tris into another kiss. “Now will you let me take care of you? You're sweaty and smelly.” He kissed Tris’ nose, then his lips again, too happy to really function.
“I'm entirely in your hands,” Tris told him. “So, have you found showers up here, or are we going skinny dipping in the lake?”
Christian flushed all the way down his neck and he coughed over the embarrassment. “I…it might have to be the second.” Which considering other things they had done, might not be a big deal, but it felt like more than Christian could handle. “But we can look again! I'm sure there's something.”
Tris opened his mouth to speak - he’d already been preparing to run with skinny dipping and suggesting they find a quiet area on the far side of the lake, maybe sending off Chris to find the makings of a picnic. Only, then Chris was already saying he didn’t want to and for all Tris had proclaimed he wanted to start expecting more out of life than what he was offered, the words died in his throat. “Sure,” he said, nodding a little, not quite meeting Chris’ eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m tired anyway. I should probably sit and have something to eat. Like you suggested.”
Christian frowned, stepping closer and moving his head to be in Tris’ line of sight. “What did I do?” Because Tris not looking at him was usually a sign. Tris should sit and eat something, but things were so good a second ago, which meant that Christian had messed something up.
Tris met his eyes. “Nothing - I’m just tired. It’s been a long day, I guess. Is there anywhere quiet we can go? Just the two of us. Away from the others? I kinda want you to myself for a while,” he suggested, deciding that it was possible he could still get the majority of what he’d imagined in that flash of a moment.
Christian’s frown didn’t go away, but he did nod. “Yeah, of course.” He leaned in to kiss Tris lightly before looking around them. “We could head down to the water?” He was pretty sure he might die of mortification at the idea of skinny dipping, but it would be well away from the camp that Cillian had set up and it might be nice and quiet. “Let me run in and get some food and we can go?”
“That sounds perfect,” Tris said, with a gentle sigh. He gave Chris a quick kiss and pushed him gently in the direction of the others. “Don’t take too long,” he added, already looking for somewhere to sit for a few whilst he waited.
“I won’t,” Christian promised, looking back before stepping back to pull Tris into another hug. “I love you,” he murmured, realizing he had hadn’t said that yet. He let go, then hurried into the restaurant to find them something to eat.