InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "let my people go."

Rachel Sully (rachelsully) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-11-26 01:40:00

Entry tags:

!closed, ~rachel sully, ~tim dixon

Email to Tim
I'm only emailing you because I promised your mom I wouldn't ruin her attempt at making things more fun around here anymore. And I feel like I have so much more to say on this subject.

First of all, before all of that I never tried to get over you, so saying it was taking years is ridiculous. I wanted to be in love with you because it gave me an excuse to be alone. I let myself push other guys away because they weren't you. I didn't bother trying to get over you. So when I finally did want to get over you and move on, yes it was taking some time.

Secondly, you don't get to decide how I feel. Yes, knowing that you would never be in love with me did hurt, but I was working on it. I was trying to be happy. I was actively trying to move on. But that wasn't good enough for you. I needed to be over you right then and there because that's what you wanted. It made you feel better to know that it was all finally over.

You were being a selfish prick.

I don't hate you, Timothy. Hate is far too nice a word for what I feel about you. The things you said. It wasn't just you trying to get me over you. You meant every fucking word of it and that's what hurt more than anything else. There was real anger and real venom behind your words. You may not have realized it but you truly believed everything you were saying. I could see it in your eyes.

As I said, getting over someone doesn't happen over night. I could have been your friend if you'd just given me the chance to make that decision on my own terms. You and Richie were all I really had left. My parents are still in shock of being parents and now my mom's pregnant and they're having to deal with that. So they aren't really in the mood to be parents right now. Sarah is older than me now and I feel like I don't really know her anymore. And now Richie and Juliet and Neytiri are all gone. So thanks to you deciding to be a fucking asshole, I officially have no one. Not really.

I would use sarcasm here but I'm pretty sure you're too stupid to pick up on it.

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	tim_dixon 2013-11-26 08:03 am UTC (link)
	I was trying to tell you I was wrong. That I was sorry. But now, now we're really done. You wont be able to reach me from now on. No matter how hard you try. You're more interested in being right, and being a bitch than you are in anyone else or anything else. So now I'm over you. Forever. Goodbye. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	rachelsully 2013-11-26 08:06 am UTC (link)
	I think the worst part about all of this is that you don't even realize how much this has hurt. How much damage you did. You don't get it. The wound is still far too fresh for me to be able to even consider accepting an apology. So I guess this is goodbye. Have a nice life, Timothy. I'll be sure to avoid you as much as is possible on this island. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tim_dixon
2013-11-26 08:14 am UTC (link)

You don't see it do you? You didn't see that it was pain instead of truth. But it doesn't matter Rachel, you never will see anything besides you being right. You wont ever get it.

It's okay I take it back. Maybe someday you'll grow up and realize when to let go of things. But I doubt it.

You don't have to avoid me, I'll be a stranger in the crowd, wont even look your way. You and me, wont exist in this world Rach. I wont let it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rachelsully 2013-11-26 08:23 am UTC (link)
	I don't care about being right, Tim. I just want for everything to stop hurting and it never will. There will always be someone that's going to leave in some way or another and it's always going to hurt. With you I have some kind of closure, right? You didn't just randomly disappear like everybody else. I should take a little comfort in that at least. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tim_dixon
2013-11-26 11:40 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, whatever. I'll believe that when you actually start listening to what other people have to say rather than opening your mouth.

I wont see that though, because we're done. I'm not answering anymore after this. No phone calls, no text messages, and no emails. When I see you on the street, or in a shop or anywhere I'm not going to acknowledge that you exist, because you don't anymore.

When you finally decide to see passed the tip of your own nose, it's going to be to late. All because you had to get that last bitchy word in.

So, have a nice live. Though I doubt you will, you'll probably sit and stew about this too, because the world revolves around you, and everything bad that happens in this place only happens to you.

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