Rachel Sully (rachelsully) wrote in compass_network, @ 2013-11-26 01:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, ~rachel sully, ~tim dixon |
Email to Tim
I'm only emailing you because I promised your mom I wouldn't ruin her attempt at making things more fun around here anymore. And I feel like I have so much more to say on this subject.
First of all, before all of that I never tried to get over you, so saying it was taking years is ridiculous. I wanted to be in love with you because it gave me an excuse to be alone. I let myself push other guys away because they weren't you. I didn't bother trying to get over you. So when I finally did want to get over you and move on, yes it was taking some time.
Secondly, you don't get to decide how I feel. Yes, knowing that you would never be in love with me did hurt, but I was working on it. I was trying to be happy. I was actively trying to move on. But that wasn't good enough for you. I needed to be over you right then and there because that's what you wanted. It made you feel better to know that it was all finally over.
You were being a selfish prick.
I don't hate you, Timothy. Hate is far too nice a word for what I feel about you. The things you said. It wasn't just you trying to get me over you. You meant every fucking word of it and that's what hurt more than anything else. There was real anger and real venom behind your words. You may not have realized it but you truly believed everything you were saying. I could see it in your eyes.
As I said, getting over someone doesn't happen over night. I could have been your friend if you'd just given me the chance to make that decision on my own terms. You and Richie were all I really had left. My parents are still in shock of being parents and now my mom's pregnant and they're having to deal with that. So they aren't really in the mood to be parents right now. Sarah is older than me now and I feel like I don't really know her anymore. And now Richie and Juliet and Neytiri are all gone. So thanks to you deciding to be a fucking asshole, I officially have no one. Not really.
I would use sarcasm here but I'm pretty sure you're too stupid to pick up on it.