InsaneJournal

Email to Steve


Steve,

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the situation. I didn't want you to worry. Even though I know you're going to worry anyway, I just felt like it was something you shouldn't have to deal with. Especially since it's not a problem you have anymore. Dr. Banner told me that the hole wasn't life threatening and the only thing fixing it would do would be to make it just a little bit easier for me to breathe. So I didn't think you needed to know about it. And the only reason Peggy knew is because I needed some advice. I almost didn't tell her either.

I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone about the surgery. It was supposed to be simple and routine and everything fine. I would go home after and rest for a few hours and take it easy for a couple of days and then good as new. I had no idea that I would have a reaction to the anesthetic. I didn't think about that. I'm sorry that I scared all of you. You all have every right to be angry with me.

I don't know how it happened but at some point during the coma or whenever, the arrhythmia is gone. It fixed itself or the island fixed it or something. I don't know. It's really strange, putting my hand on my chest and feeling a normal heartbeat. And my blood pressure is back to normal too. So that's two less medications that I have to take. That's good, right? My back isn't hurting as much either but I think that's just because I'm laying down most of the time.

Dr. Emerson said that I could get up and walk around a little bit later today. I'll need some help, still, but that's understandable. He does want me to actually walk, though, instead of just riding around in a wheelchair. He wants to assess my movement or something like that. I can't remember exactly what he said as I was half asleep when he was saying it. It's so weird calling Dr. Emerson a he, but that's a topic for a later discussion.

I heard everything you said, you know? When you were talking to me. I could hear all of it. I'd really like it if you could bring little Steve by the room so I could visit with him a little bit. He was nice enough to leave his bear for me, after all. I should thank him for that. Now I can explain to Lil that he's not actually my son. I think she was kind of hurt by that prospect. So this will make things better.

I really am sorry, Steve. I never meant to hurt anybody.

Steven