Anairë | The Silmarillion (anaire) wrote in compass_network, @ 2013-05-13 16:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | !open |
Many long years has it been since my husband went forth across the ice, never to return.
And every day I miss him, and every day I lament his death, though his bravery shall live forever in legend and song. What saddens me is that the legends of my husband shall never encompass him as he was truly, as a full person, and not just a character whose deeds and daring shall always live on. For he was not perfect, nay, he had many flaws. But rather than detracting, these added to him and made the picture complete. The legends will not remember his laughter, or his impossible stubbornness, or the thousand little intimacies that were between us alone.
And yet history says it knows him. How can it?
Such thoughts. I miss my husband, but also I know that I am myself, and that I am a being separate from him. For many years I lived in Tírion, and with my craft supported my family. I did not need a husband then, nay, I never needed one. For love is not need, but a gift. And I enjoyed and cherished this gift while I had it, but now that it is gone, now that he is gone, I am still me. I am still a lady with worth and value in my own right.
To those of you who have lost, the loss of a loved one is grievous, and I do not undervalue your pain. Many years have I wept nightly for the loss of first my youngest son, then my husband, then my eldest, then my daughter, and finally my Turukáno. And tears and grief are not an evil, indeed, they are healthy and many must be shed before peace will find your heart, if ever it will.
But know that love itself is eternal, and that as long as you hold it in your heart, it shapes you and fulfills you in its own way even after the object is gone.
Alas, I speak too much, but I wish only to offer comfort.
Peace be with you, and may the Valar bless you all.
Merin sinomë nelyë, Ñolofinwë.