Kat
To be fair your uncle actually imprisoned your Dad. I'm not asking you to control your him at all. That didn't enter my mind. I have something over my husbands that would give me leverage if I needed it. But I don't think me asking them to be civil is too much. Especially considering we have a lot of children.
I don't think it's fair to leave him out. He's one of us just as much as you are. He's kept us safe a number of times. Sometimes at risk to himself.