Katherine
But your true father, didn't hate you. And even though he hasn't seen things a man ought to see with their children, I don't doubt he loves you.
She wanted to die. And I think she wanted to take him with her. She didn't know you Kat. She didn't think the way I do anymore. And she'd seen all but the newest generation of her children die. The people she loved more than life itself fade. And the one person that was left pull away because of all the grief. She had to kill him in her time. And that's why I have to be different. He's already ahead of me on that different course, because of you.
The animals I hunt don't think the way humans do, they're more lateral than you'd think, less evolved. Your wolves might be different, I haven't met them yet. Even my thought process is different when I've spent too much time in fur. I get very possessive, a little... Murderous, for the lack of a better word. It happens when you have two consciousnesses in one shell.
Yes it could be considered supernatural. Kept me out of a train car filled with a gas that would have made me want to jump my best friend and have my wicked way. But, I wasn't talking as in casual encounters, or in the familial sense, I was talking in battle. But it's also a frame of mind I have to have. If I think I'm weak then I will be weak, no matter how much strength I do have. And if it's one thing your father knows how to exploit, it's a being's weaknesses. I watched him fight, and it was glorious, beautiful in fact. Seeing it in person was so different than seeing it on the screen. He's every bit the warrior that Thor is, maybe more so. I never said it would be a fight I would win, but it is one that I will try my hardest to keep from ever happening. Because I don't want him to die anymore than I want to die. Because as much as I don't want to watch them die, I want to spend every moment I can, with them.
I don't think the opposite, I really don't. I said those things in the heat of anger, and I know they hurt, but I didn't mean them. You hurt me, cut me clean to the quick insinuating that I was a bad mother. I know I'm not. But it pissed me off, as you put it. And I wanted to make you hurt as much as you had hurt me. Which in hindsight was wrong. I should have stopped the conversation all together.
Wait until your husband is pregnant with another man's baby. That will help kick the door wide open. But to be honest, I don't know how my mind works, I try to keep 'her' out as much as possible, it doesn't always work as well as I want it to.