InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Feel no guilt."

Grey (greywhite) wrote in compass_comm,
@ 2013-04-23 22:46:00

Entry tags:

!closed

Text to Summer
You don't happen to know if there's anywhere with a cage around here, do you?

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	asummersday 2013-04-23 10:01 pm UTC (link)
	Not unless George or Nina has one. I'm guessing this is Lex related? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-23 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	They normally change outside, don't they? Well if it was for kinky sex play you might not be the first person I'd ask, actually yeah you probably would be, but yeah it's Lex related. I really don't want him changing outside. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-23 10:09 pm UTC (link)
	Yup. As far as I know. Thanks. I feel honored. I think. I don't know what to suggest. I can take him with me if he wants/you want/he she it wants ~~It would actually be kinda nice to have some compan~~, but that's very definitely outside. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-23 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad that's your reaction. I'll have a look around tomorrow. Thanks for the offer, I just really don't know. He doesn't normally change outside, I wouldn't want him getting hurt, or waking up naked on a pile of leaves. I might've sort of domesticated him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-23 10:20 pm UTC (link)
	Y'know, I could always just talk to him. Or you could. I mean, no offence, but he's not really your problem any more, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

greywhite
2013-04-23 10:24 pm UTC (link)

What ask him if he wants to change outside? What if he says yes and then something happens? Is it just you, George and Nina now?

Just because he isn't my boyfriend anymore doesn't mean I'm not going to worry about him, especially on a full moon. I used to sit with him, you know? When he changed. I used to sleep on the bloody floor outside the cage. I don't want him being outside. He isn't used to it like you are.

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asummersday
2013-04-23 10:34 pm UTC (link)

Then it'll have been his choice, dude. Free will and all that crap.

Yeah. As far as I know. Unless any more of these newbies are weres too and have just been keeping it quiet. I think I'd know by now, though.

Grey, babe, you do realise you keep saying "used to", right? You ever thought that maybe you just need to take a step back right now? ~~Like I'm doing with Roger and April, because there's no way I'm~~

Because, dude, let's face it; the guy's still pretty fucking hung up on you. And, judging by what he said in the Happy Little Elf's post, him having to think about what you guys "used to" do might not actually be very helpful for him in the grand scheme of the whole moving on process.

Just sayin'.

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greywhite
2013-04-23 10:40 pm UTC (link)

I'm worried he might be feeling a bit more reckless than usual, that's all.

Okay. Thanks.

I would do if it wasn't the fucking full moon! And yeah maybe I should but it's really not easy, after what I've done to him I really feel like I should at least make sure he's okay for Thursday.

Don't even get me started on that. They'll all so bloody patronising. I wasn't saying I'd do that this time. I just don't want him going through it alone. What if he reacts badly - when he's a wolf?

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asummersday
2013-04-23 11:11 pm UTC (link)

If he reacts badly, don't you think it would be better for him to be out and running, with another wolf or two, who can keep him in check, keep him away from the city and keep him occupied, rather than trapped in some cage, alone, on an island that's royally screwed him in the ass, with a Grey-shaped hole in the almost-but-not-quite-familiar scene?

Well, whatever; it's up to you/him, but I know what I'd prefer...

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	greywhite 2013-04-24 08:02 pm UTC (link)
	You don't think he's likely to be in danger from George or Nina? I mean I didn't think werewolves were that friendly towards each other generally, Anywhere there wouldn't have to be a Grey-shaped hole if he didn't want there to be. It's different for you though, Lex has never changed outside, we lived in the centre of Manchester it wasn't really an option. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asummersday
2013-04-24 08:25 pm UTC (link)

Are you kidding? Wolves... pack? I don't know about George and Nina but, to me, other weres are family. At least, that's how it is in my world. We all change together and run. It's the best part about being a were. It makes up for the pain. It makes you feel like you're really part of something bigger.

Then he's been missing out, dude.

((OOC: I thought Lex did change outside... In your journal it says, "After a number of years changing in the middle of nowhere...". Confused.com.))

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	greywhite 2013-04-24 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	Well considering they made wolves fight each other I assumed the didn't exactly get on very well. I'm not sure it's like that where I'm from, not that I really know much about it, it's not the sort of thing you can just ask about. But he's been safe. ((Oh fuck, I thought I'd changed that bit, sorry)) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-24 08:42 pm UTC (link)
	"Made" being the optimal word right there. I mean, I guess your weres aren't all related like they are in my world but, still, running free is enough to take your mind off of fighting. You just want to stalk and hunt and eat and be fucking awesome together. ...It's a wolf thing. You sound like my fucking dad. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-24 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	You do maybe, but we're not from the same place, who's to say it's like that where we're from? Well I am sorry I didn't want my boyfriend to get hurt or taken by vampires. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-24 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	Who's to say it's not? It's not a bad thing. My dad loves me, just like you loved Lex. I still hated the garage, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-24 08:49 pm UTC (link)
	So what? You think I should suggest it and just hope he doesn't get torn to shreds? I can't win, can I? I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-24 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not gonna tear him to shreds... Like I said, why don't you just ask him what he wants? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-24 09:01 pm UTC (link)
	I didn't think you were. And I'm going to. But whatever he chooses I'm going to worry. I can't help it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-24 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	It's good that you care. But, if he does come out with me, at least you know he'll have someone looking out for him. I mean, seriously, woe betide anything that messes with the Summer!wolf or her pack. I may be small but I'm fucking vicious when I need to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-24 09:11 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks, I do appreciate it. And I'm sure you can be. I'll mention it to him. Anyway - how are things with you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-24 09:29 pm UTC (link)
	Absofuckingloutly shit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-24 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	What a coincidence. It's got to get easier, hadn't it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-24 09:46 pm UTC (link)
	I guess. Maybe. Roger and I broke up. I mean... if you can actually break up with someone you weren't even dating to begin with. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-24 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	What? Seriously? Because of whatever her name is? I'd say if you weren't having sex with him anymore it counts, but that has some pretty shitty implications for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asummersday 2013-04-24 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	~~Bitchfac~~ April. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	greywhite 2013-04-24 09:56 pm UTC (link)
	Was it because of her? Because tbh I don't give much of a shit what her name is. It'd be really inappropriate to point out you're probably the only person I wouldn't mind Lex shagging here, wouldn't it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asummersday
2013-04-24 10:07 pm UTC (link)

He never got over her. I mean, he fucking told me about her the first night we met. It was kinda like... I was the other woman. She never actually stopped being his girlfriend in his head. She just died and wasn't there any more. But he didn't stop thinking of her as his girlfriend.

And then, when she showed up, he went all cold and as though he was embarrassed to be with me.

And I went round to his the other night and found them "talking" and I was just, like, what the fuck am I even doing here... I mean, it was so freaking obvious he wasn't really over her. And me showing up and trying to act like the jealous girlfriend was just... really pathetic.

So I ended it.

Erm... thanks. I appreciate the sentiment but that would just be kinda like really weird.

Then again, it's not like he'd actually have much other choice. The other girls here are either complete dogs or amazing pains in the ass.

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greywhite
2013-04-24 10:18 pm UTC (link)

I got engaged to Lex when I knew Malcolm, but yeah I know what you mean, I mean I can imagine and that's completely unfair on you. You shouldn't have to feel like that, but it's shit and I'm sorry.

Cold? Yeah I know what that's like, not that I can talk. I really think this is the worse thing the island's so far, and it almost killed Malc.

Good on you for being strong enough to do that though. I'm not sure what I'd do if I thought Malc still had feelings for his ex, which I suppose is the exact position I'm putting him in.

Yeah, I know, but it's still true.

I have given this a bit of thought, because I've had way too much time on hands and yeah you, Maryanne and Nina are pretty much the only women I actually like and respect, all the others are so fucking...nothing.

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asummersday
2013-04-24 10:28 pm UTC (link)

I know, right. I mean, everything this island's thrown at us before has been... horrible but manageable. I guess that guy must have caught onto the fact that the way to really get us is to hit us right in the feels.

Malc knows you love him. He may feel kinda weird, but at least he knows. It wasn't like that with me and Roger. We were still getting to know each other. We hadn't had the chance to... feel secure, yet. I guess I didn't really stand a chance against the love of his life...

Aside from the fact that the Peter Pan in me doesn't like being called a woman... you're pretty much right. They're all so sanctimonious. I really fucking miss people like Sirius and Ed and Kaya - people who were up for a laugh and just said what they thought.

I mean, seriously, everyone here seems to love licking each other's asses all the time.

Like when Micha got turned half-fish and everyone was like, "Aww, I'm so sorry, what a pity", I just felt like pointing out that she was fucking stupid for messing with the spire in the first place, especially after the shit that's happened to Mitchell, and even after I actually fucking told her not to go near it! I mean, seriously? Are we the only ones who sees how fucking pathetic some of these people are?

[A few minutes later]

So I guess I've been needing to vent...

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greywhite
2013-04-24 10:40 pm UTC (link)

I think it's the fact that it's not just hurting me, it's hurting me, Malc and Lex. It's just such fucking bullshit.

I'm not sure he's that secure, Christ, I'm not sure I am. I think he still expects me to change my mind, you know? It's shit though, that the island fucked with you so early on.

Girl then, how's that? My main problem is how fucking submissive they are, and they just accept it like women are there purely for the sake of men and it makes me want to shake them.

I don't really know the full story there. I just know to avoid the spire, not that that necessarily saves you from this bullshit. But yeah I'm getting the impression we're the only ones willing to speak up about everything. I'm so tired of it though. I can barely be bothered to even argue anymore.

It's fine, I'm always around to bitch about people, it's all we do at home.

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