Holly Jasmine Page (shewhodrifts) wrote in commandhq, @ 2018-05-05 23:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | holly page, p: lindsey, p: mena, raven pereria |
Who: Holly Page & Raven Pereria
What: A Talk
When: After this
Where: Holly's office
Rating: PG
Raven might have stalled on her trip down to Holly’s office (even though the Handler had assured her she wasn’t in trouble, Raven had the distinct feeling like she was being sent for disciplinary action), but the mere notion she might get to have her powers turned off was enough to send her quickly across the base. Many Supers seemed to bemoan having access to their abilities restricted; Raven, however, couldn’t wait to have that switch flipped.
Not worrying about switching bodies with someone just because they accidentally brushed hands? Or sewing some construct out of air to dupe someone? Or overloading the brains of everyone on the base just because she was having an angsty night? Raven was already worrying after how she might atone for what she’d done to everyone, but having her powers switched off wasn’t for them. It was entirely, selfishly for her own benefit.
When she arrived at Holly’s office, Raven gently knocked on the door before nudging it open to glance inside. Seeing that Holly was inside, and alone, caused Raven to smile somewhat sheepishly—an uncharacteristic expression on her, for sure. “Olá,” she greeted. “May I come in?”
---
Holly was waiting patiently inside her office for Raven. Getting someone’s powers temporarily switched off was a nightmare of paperwork, not to mention Holly was morally against it unless there was no other way because, much like those with physical manifestations, the ‘off switch’ could be a crutch.
“Of course,” she said, raising her head to see Raven standing in the doorway looking awkward and concerned. Holly wanted to discuss what had happened, of course she did, but she was more worried about Raven and what had happened that caused her normally iron control to slip. It was uncharacteristic and after everything that had happened, had Holly wondering if there was more to what was happening than Raven was letting on.
She felt a surge of guilt, wondering if there was more she could have done. She, herself, had been a bit preoccupied as of late considering the death in the Deacon family and trying to navigate and support Scott through his grief as well as deal with her own because she had been close to that family.
“Please, take a seat.”
After a few moments, she folded her hands on the desk and fixed Raven with a look. “First off; are you alright?” She knew psychic powers took a toll on those that wielded them, too, not just those that were affected.
---
Raven smiled, nodded, and entered the office. After shutting the door, she followed Holly’s instructions and carefully sank into the seat across from the handler.
First off; are you alright?
She knew that Holly had to ask that. It was just getting silly, at this point, people worried about her when she’d been the one to cause over a dozen people to have the headache from Hell. Raven nodded and offered her most charming, confident smile. “Yes, thank you. I was out after it happened—it’s been a while since I used that ability, for obvious reasons—but it didn’t hurt me. Not like it…,” she winced, and didn’t finish. Not like how it had hurt Aidan. Or JP. Or Dove, of all people.
“You were willing to discuss turning off my powers?” Although Holly had said it would be temporary, Raven was hoping not too temporary. Sure, she had to learn how to use them, but Raven couldn’t fathom why, if they had the technology to essentially eliminate these abilities in people, they wouldn’t saddle them all with an inhibitor and send them right back out into their lives.
Wouldn’t that have been the easiest solution around? Sure, not everyone would do that willingly. People would fight. But then at least people like Raven, willing people, could avoid hurting anyone, and could return to a semi-normal life.
---
“Don’t jump the gun yet, Raven,” Holly cautioned, glad that the teenager was alright but she was unnervingly eager to have her powers turned off. Whilst Holly did understand the need and the desire to pursue that particular course of action, she really didn’t like using it unless there was no other option. Turning off abilities that were difficult to control came with its own risks, namely that it could be considered a crutch.
She put the papers she had been messing around with down and drew in a slow breath. Raven looked eager, even if she was trying not to, and Holly understood; her abilities meant she was physically isolated from everything and everyone. That had to be hard. Holly hoped there was a way to control it, for Raven’s sake. But it would take more work.
“I’d like to know what happened, first.”
---
She should have known it wouldn’t be as easy as showing up, smiling pretty, and having the switch flipped. Holly still had a job to do, and part of that was getting to the bottom of why Raven’s powers had gone haywire and making sure it didn’t happen again.
Raven smoothed out her black skirt. Crossed her legs at the ankle. Sitting up straight, she maintained her composure, appearing capable and mature. Hopefully, that would help this whole case along. If she spoke clearly and articulately, this wouldn’t take too long.
“I don’t use that power very often – I think they referred to it as Psionic Inundation? Obviously. It’s quite dangerous. The teacher that I used it on, as far as I know, he’s still in a coma. And I don’t want to be the reason that happens to anyone else. But it gets triggered when I’m really upset, and the other night…,” she trailed off for a moment, biting the inside of her cheek as she struggled to find her wording. “My brother went back to Brazil. He and my mamãe
are both there, and I don’t have any other family here in the US. Other than Dove, that is.”
Raven folded her hands atop her knees and resisted the urge to fidget with her fingers. “I know being sad isn’t an excuse for losing control, especially when it comes at the expense of other people’s safety. But –,” her brows knit together, and she frowned. “I don’t want that responsibility. I don’t want to have to worry about being happy or angry or sad and sending everyone around me into a coma.”
---
Holly frowned at the knowledge that Raven had received a communication from the outside. She wondered what channel it had gone through as she hadn’t seen it- she’d need to speak to the mail room about ensuring that all communications went through the correct channels before being distributed. She knew about Raven’s powers, the ones in her file at least. And psionic inundation was one of those powers that made Holly feel wrong just thinking about. Psychic abilities in general were so dangerous because they couldn’t be defended against. No one could stop them once they’d started, you couldn’t just block a psychic hit.
Those with psychic powers had a great deal of responsibility and it was a heavy burden she wouldn’t want that placed on anyone’s shoulders.
“That’s…” she sighed, “that sucks.” There were no other words for it. “And I understand your concerns around your levels of control, Raven, I do.” But she had her reservations. Turning them off meant control could never be learned. Turning powers off was a temporary solution to a permanent problem. “My concern over switching your powers off is around you becoming reliant on having them off. I don’t want you to think it’s the easy way out, just to turn them off. Your control is phenomenal. One slip doesn’t- and shouldn’t- slide all of that backwards.”
---
My concern over switching your powers off is around you becoming reliant on having them off.
“What would be so bad about that?” Raven was so, so deeply confused. “It’s not like having access to them can result in anything good. All they can do is trick and hurt people. They can’t help people.” Being able to conjure and manipulate illusions had been fun in high school; they helped her and her friends get out of little bouts of trouble, helped her and Dove sneak into the house a little later than curfew, and other things like that. Perhaps not harmful things, but Illusions was, at best, a neutral ability, with a user-tendency towards mischief.
“I wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone if they were off. I could actually—,” she pursed her lips. “I can’t even touch someone’s skin without it becoming a Freaky Friday parody and getting access to all the private info nobody actually wants me to know.”
She was sick of it all; having to maintain a consistent sort of Zen to avoid sending everyone around her into migraine-mode and not being able to access any sort of physical comfort with friends—affection was more or less off the table for the sake of everyone involved.
“I don’t understand the point of keeping me this way if there’s a way to fix it.”
---
“But they’re a part of who you are,” Holly reasoned. “As difficult to handle as they may be there will come a time when you’re no longer in the Regiment, when the technology that we have might not be as easy to access for you. If you’ve become used to not having them and then that option is taken away, the chance of you having a slip would increase dramatically.”
She rested her hands on the table. “I’d like you to talk to the psych team first,” she said, “Not just about you looking to have your powers turned off but because I’m worried about the news you got. It’s a horrible feeling, to be alone,” Holly knew it all too well, “and while I’m glad that you have Dove, I just want to make sure there’s someone you can talk to - if you don’t want to come and talk to me, that is.”
Tapping her long fingers on the wood, Holly nodded. “Once you’ve spoken to the psych team, we’ll talk again about turning your powers off temporarily. I’d still want you to have them on for training, and on at times during the day, but we can maybe discuss a schedule. That way you’ll still have to practise keeping them under control.”
Brown eyes fixed Raven with a calm, but expectant look. “Will that work for you?”
---
Her hands were closing, balling into fists. Logically, she knew that Holly had a good point – what if, when they did get released (if), she no longer had access to anything that could inhibit her abilities? God help her – it was as bleak a future to envision as was the one she pictured having within these walls. They’re a part of who you are – dangerous. She would always be dangerous.
Raven swallowed. “That’s fine,” she nodded. Talking to the psych team would be a breeze, especially if she kept the end goal in sight – getting her powers turned off. Even if it was just a reprieve, it would be worth it. “I don’t mind talking to someone. Although, to be clear, I’m not uncomfortable coming to you with any issues.” And that much was true; especially since when Holly mentioned the festering feeling of loneliness, it sounded like it was a concept she was a little too familiar with.
She effortlessly turned on a soft smile that was a somewhat foreign expression, maybe because it was feigned, no matter how well she wore it. “If that’s what you think is best, then I’ll make it work. Of course, I don’t want to fall behind in maintaining or strengthening my control. We can definitely discuss a schedule that you think is manageable.”
Sitting up straighter, Raven tilted her head. “Is there someone you recommend me talking to?”
---
Holly smiled a little, “I’m glad to hear that, Raven, but I’m not foolish enough to think I’m even remotely qualified to make a proper psychological assessment.” She leaned back in her hair, “I’m glad you feel you could come to me, though, I know I can be a bit… intimidating.” Head tilting to the side, she continued, “that’ll be ten years in the marines. Five of those commanding my own unit.”
She drew in a breath. Ten years in the military taught her to read people, too, she knew that Raven was likely just trying to play the game to get what she wanted. But if it worked, for now, Holly wasn’t going to call her out on it. “We’ll talk about a schedule, make sure that it’s something you can stick to, and I’ll put in a referral to our psych team, one of them will reach out to you.”
Putting her hands on the desk, Holly finished, “Is there anything else you want to discuss?”
---
Raven chortled, inclining her head somewhat. “That’s rather on the nose,” she agreed, regarding Holly’s level of intimidation. Fortunately for Raven, those initial concerns had been quelled quite quickly. She appreciated Holly’s level of dedication and ferocity—she hadn’t met a whole lot of women like her growing up. Regardless of her sternness or level of professionalism, it didn’t seem to dampen her ability to empathize and to support.
Unsurprisingly, Holly was an impressive woman.
She nodded again, agreeing without question or dispute—for now. “I look forward to meeting – well, whoever I end up meeting.” She squared her shoulders, looking confident. “I am certain I can stick to whatever schedule we come up with.”
At Holly’s last question, Raven pursed her lips and shook her head. “No. I think that’s all. I’ll be waiting to here back from you about everything.”
She quickly got up to her feet and smoothed the front of her skirt again. As she headed back for the door, the young woman paused. Raven glanced back at her handler, her expression suddenly sheepish. “I am sorry, about…,” she glanced down. “What happened. Thank you for being understanding about it.” Even if it wasn’t wholly deserved. “I’ll talk to you soon, Holly."