Volunteering for missions seemed like part of the gig. You volunteered and sometimes you got perks for coming home. It put you in good standing and allowed you to have more freedom in the facility. Nicky had shown her superiors that she had no intent to flee so they eventually disabled the inhibitor part of her implant. This allowed her to practice her trade and become more efficient at the skills they wanted her to have. She follows the program and they seem very satisfied with her. So she figured.
"It went to plan, as far as I know. Intelligence gathering is my specialty. Was nice to work on my photography skills, too. There's always some foreign place where a girl can look like a tourist." She'd been paired up with a man that had abilities that complimented hers: teleportation and self-cloaking. He was nice and they played the part, but it was still just a show. There was no attachment and they went their separate ways again as soon as it was over. "It's too bad I can't visit places as an actual tourist, but I think I'd be too freaked out if I did." Watching over her shoulder was just a constant.
Nicky sat her cup down on the table and just tried to figure out the words she wanted to use to describe how she'd been feeling lately. It was a hard thing to do for her as she was most often the quiet observer rather than the one speaking up. "Lately, tapping into my abilities has been difficult." She wasn't sure how to describe a fear of her own abilities. "It makes me nervous." That was a big leap for her. Would probably shatter the persona she'd carefully crafted through the years if those she knew well heard her say it.