1/2
Unfortunately, Jack wasn't going to get what he wanted. While Ianto knew on some level that Jack wanted his anger, he also knew that it wasn't what Jack needed. And besides, he wasn't angry. And he certainly wasn't going to pretend to be angry, even for Jack's sake. He had too much faith in Jack as a person to let him punish himself for something that was in no way his fault. Jack had done so much for him, believed in him even when he had betrayed the other man's trust, given him meaning in his life, and loved him when he felt that he wasn't worth loving. He deserved Ianto's faith and so much more.
And more importantly, Jack deserved his love.
"For fuck sake, Jack," Ianto said, "you didn't fuck Gwen. He did. And he wasn't you. He didn't have any idea what we share, and he didn't know about our team or anything we've been through. He's only a part of you in that, beneath all the posturing and anger and petty malice, there's the potential to overcome his weaknesses and the strength to become the amazing man I've known and loved for the past two years." He sighed and shook his head. "Tell me, Jack. Would you fuck her now, if you had the opportunity? Would you want to? Would you rather have her than me?" He wasn't testing Jack. Wasn't afraid of the answer. He trusted Jack completely. He just wanted Jack to trust himself.
"Jack," he said softly. "I accepted a long time ago that Torchwood doesn't lend itself to a long life or a natural death. Hell, I've been working for Torchwood for four years and I've survived more than my share of catastrophes. I've never bothered with any illusions that I have much time." He paused. "But...see...I've decided that I'm not going to die for a good long while. Because I have something to fight for. To live for. There are plenty of things to die for, but this...us...it gives me a reason to stay. It makes me want to stay. With you." He gave Jack a small smile. "And you know me...I'm a stubborn bastard. So, I know you're afraid of losing this...but don't let that get in the way of now. Because I have no plans for dying any time soon. I'm going to be around to frustrate you for quite some time."
He rolled his eyes and laughed. "And I'm sure there's a parallel world out there somewhere where Owen is a ferret," he said dryly. "It doesn't mean anything in the context of this world. Or us. Just like who we are in the past, taken in and of itself, doesn't overshadow the people we become." He looked down. "What if I had been from two years ago...just after Lisa? Would the things that I might have said as that version of myself have changed the fact that I love you now, completely and totally? I like to think not. I was a different man then. And that wasn't nearly so far removed as the man you used to be."
"In this instance," Ianto said calmly, "Owen would be right...and yes, it pains me deeply to say that. You have no idea." Even in serious, emotional moments like this, Ianto was capable of humour. "See, Jack...that's what you're not getting here. This isn't about what you want. I'm not going to be an instrument for you to torture yourself for perceived sins. I can tell you how I really feel though." He leaned forward, so his lips were against Jack's ear. "I love you," he spoke softly, "and I don't blame you at all, but...if it has to be said...I forgive you. I absolve you from any guilt you feel. Because you've forgiven me far worse. Actions I've knowingly taken. Betraying you. Nearly destroying the world. Standing against you even when I knew it was wrong. So, in case you still don't get it, I forgive you. That's what you deserve Jack. Now forgive yourself. Please."