InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I ate it"

Ianto Jones (notjusta_teaboy) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2012-07-05 00:18:00

Current mood:	apprehensive
Entry tags:	ianto jones, isabel evans

Who: Ianto Jones and Isabel Evans
Where: The coffee shop
When: Wednesday night, right around close
What: A long put-off conversation
Rating: Shouldn't go higher than PG
Status: In progress, closed

The last few months at work had been awkward, to say the least. Ever since having his memories of Lisa and Torchwood One brought back so fresh like that, and the subsequent conversation with Isabel, work had been almost unbearable. It was hard enough organising the schedule so they weren't working together. But beyond that, she was his friend, or had been, and he hated that their interactions had come to this. As much as he was grateful that someone apparently saw eye to eye with him on what he had done, or at least allowed to be done, he was ready for it be over now. He missed her terribly, both as a co-worker and a friend, as was desperate for a chance to explain and perhaps exonerate himself. He wasn't sure how to go about it, but Asaph was apparently being helpful in that regard, if helpful was the right word, which he didn't exactly think it was. It had been all he could do not to blurt things out at shift change when the cafe was full of customers.

As it was, the cafe was closing down. All the customers had left, and he was starting to wipe things down and put things away. All he had to look forward to was another evening at home, and that could go one way or another, given how Rose had been feeling lately. Not that he blamed her. Still, Colligo was starting to wear on him, and one of the last things he could stand right now was more of the same. He looked over to the little break room, where Isabel's sweater was still hanging one on of the hooks. Well, it was hardly cold out, although it must have been cool that morning when she came in to open. She was opening tomorrow, too. He wondered if she would come back for it, since she was opening tomorrow too, and couldn't decide if he wanted her too or not.

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	notjusta_teaboy 2012-07-11 03:26 am UTC (link)
	Now he was the one who felt like he was going to be sick. He withdrew his arms from around her and stood up, putting some space between them. "I can't say you're wrong." His voice was just loud enough to reach her ears. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	antarprincess 2012-07-13 01:37 am UTC (link)
	Isabel shook her head, her frustration for the entire situation bursting through again, "This is the conversation you wanted to have? This is what you wanted to know? ...We shouldn't have done this, Ianto. You shouldn't have asked... I should've picked up my sweater and left. You were better off not knowing." And now her secret was out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notjusta_teaboy
2012-07-14 04:16 am UTC (link)

"No. But maybe one we needed to have. These past few months, I can't lie, it's been hard. I hate that you had to tell me like this, but not that you told me at all. You're still you, Isabel. I still want to be your friend. I just don't know if that's something you can do. You have to decide. You know me, know the person I've become. I just don't know if that's enough to make up for the person I was."

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antarprincess
2012-07-18 03:48 am UTC (link)

Isabel shook her head, "No one needs a conversation like this. And yeah, these last few months have been hard, but this is worse. I would've never told you. I should've never told you. Because I'd rather exchange pleasantries...then have you know. How I feel." She paused, "What I am."

She couldn't help it. It wasn't just about the past, it was about now, too. Knowing what she was, would he ever fall back into his old habits? Would he look the other way if they came for her?

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notjusta_teaboy
2012-07-22 01:28 am UTC (link)

"But... we weren't exchanging pleasantries, Isabel. We were barely talking at all." He sighed and shook his head. "I know you hate that I found out, and you hate even more how I had to find out. And I wish you hadn't been forced into telling me."

"But...you can ask Jack, or maybe the Doctor...I'm not like that anymore. I would never do that again. I've worked so hard to change Torchwood, make it different than that, make into place that can help both Earthling and aliens. Please, they'll tell you. I would never hurt you, Isabel, beyond what I've already done. Add I would never let you be hurt." He was pleading, almost desperate, as if her forgiveness would make up for everything that he had done and felt responsible for.

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antarprincess
2012-07-23 02:38 am UTC (link)

Isabel, contrary to popular belief, wasn't cold and unforgiving. She knew that people could change and, for the most part, believed in second chances. She also knew that there were layers to people. Look at Valenti. He had been the enemy of the group for most of her junior year. Always on their case, always trying to uncover their secret. But in the end, he had helped them to save Max from the Special Unit. And, since then, had put his life and his job on the line for them countless times, eventually losing the latter. So she understood. She did.

But this...this was different. It just was. Because the line that Ianto had crossed...and how close it was to Max, to the people that kept him in the White Room...

If someone from the Special Unit, someone who watched Max get tortured, came to her for absolution, would she give it? Could she? If they had changed, if they had started over and were doing good...

Finally, Isabel spoke with a voice that wavered, "I don't know what you want me to say now, Ianto. What you want me to do. I can't help the way I feel. I don't know how to change it."

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notjusta_teaboy
2012-07-26 09:25 pm UTC (link)

He watched the play of emotion over her face, trying to judge what he should say and how he should act. Although he hadn't participated in or even watched what had happened at Torchwood One, he knew, in the same way that everyone there knew, what went on. If it's alien, it's ours, he could still hear Yvonne's voice. And of course, if something (not someone, never someone) belonged to you, you could do what you wanted with it.

"All I want is forgiveness, Isabel. But I can't force it. You have to give it. If you can. If you will." His voice was weary and resigned, already anticipating and almost accepting her refusal.

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