InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "dance, snoopy! dance!"

ʀᴏɢᴜᴇ (untouchable) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-06-21 22:32:00

Entry tags:

erik lehnsherr, rogue

WHO: Erik Lehnsherr and Rogue
WHAT: Erik has questions. Rogue has issues. ~~This can't possibly end badly at all.~~
WHEN: Late afternoon
WHERE: Colligo Shopping District
RATING: PGish (to be safe)
STATUS: COMPLETE!

It had been a long time since Rogue had gone shopping by herself. Normally when she went it was during an 'outing' with fellow students, typically to a mall, and always under the watchful eye of the adults. She missed that feeling of camaraderie, missed knowing that there were others who had her back if things went crazy, and knew she could have contacted Kitty to join her to at least make it a bit easier to adjust. However part of her had wanted to go it alone partially because she wanted to reassure herself that yes, she could still function in the world without having to be surrounded by others, and partially because she had actually wanted a bit of time alone to clear her mind of all of the craziness that arriving in this place had created thus far in her life.

So she had decided to hit the shopping district, eventually settling on a row of stores that had things in the window displays that caught her eye. She had purposefully only taken half of her money as she knew she would spend it all without even thinking about it if she saw something she wanted badly enough, and she had tried to stick to buying things that she really did need. Because while there had been some generic type of clothing available in the closet of her assigned apartment, Rogue really couldn't wear just any old thing. For starters, tank tops were strictly out. They offered too much skin and made it too easy for someone to brush up against her. Shorts, also, weren't really an option for her. Sure she might wear them at the school from time to time but that was only because everyone there knew better. The people in this city didn't and she wasn't going to risk hurting someone just to show a little leg.

Mostly, though, Rogue's focus during this current outing had been to find more gloves. She only had the one pair and she knew it was only a matter of time before they were too grungy to be seen in public without a good washing. As she would rather not have to resort to oven mitts or something equally ridiculous while washing them, at least one extra pair was in order. So after buying a few shirts - most with three-quarter length sleeves, regardless of the odd looks she received from the clerk for getting such things during the summer - and a couple of pairs of slacks, she had made her way into a shop that sold various accessories. Including the one item that had become almost as much of a trademark for her as the white streaks in her hair.

It wasn't until her stomach growled nearly an hour later that she had made her way to the register then, after paying for everything, headed out of the store with the intention of finding some nearby cafe to grab a quick, hopefully inexpensive, bite to eat. She made her way to the corner, waiting for the light to change, and just happened to glance to her right to see if there were any cars coming just in case the light took forever and she decided to jaywalk instead.

And that's when she saw him.

Erik Lehnsherr. The man who would someday go by Magneto and would be the cause of most of her nightmares for the past two years. Her stomach tightened at the sight of the younger version than she was used to, a lump forming in her throat as everything else seemed to fade into the background and her entire focus shifted to him. He was close. Not so close that she could immediately accuse him of stalking her, but definitely too close for her liking. She considered running. Just dropping her bags and darting across the street much like a scared rabbit. However she stayed where she was due to an equal mixture of fear and stubbornness. Wishing desperately that she had asked Kitty to come with her after all, she forced her attention away from him and swallowed, hard, gaze flickering to the light as she willed it to change colors so she could cross already.

Then something seemed to happen. Rogue wasn't sure what it was but something inside of her all but snapped and, before she could even put any thought to her actions she was spinning on her heel and marching directly toward him. "What," she demanded as she drew close enough that he could hear her without her having to shout, "are you doing here?" Her Southern accent was thicker than usual, anger shining in her dark eyes as she paused a few scant feet away and settled for glaring balefully at him while she waited for a response.

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untouchable
2011-06-22 04:00 am UTC (link)

Rogue wanted to slap him. Actually, she wanted to yank off a glove, grab hold of his hand, and not let go until he was nothing but a hollowed out shell on the sidewalk. She wasn't sure if she would feel guilty or not, afterward, but it was a chance she was more than willing to take. However she stopped herself for several reasons. The Professor was the main one, as she didn't want to upset or disappoint him and knew she would do both quite a bit if she acted on her impulses. There was also the fact that she already had more than enough memories of Erik floating around inside her head and she worried, if she managed to acquire anymore, the bitterness and jaded outlook he had of the world would stick. And then there was Bobby. Yes, he wasn't here, but the way this city seemed to work he could show up at any point in time, and she didn't want to risk having him turn up only to be disgusted with her at stooping to such a low level.

So she didn't yank off her glove and do the one thing she always swore she wouldn't do. Instead she simply stood there, trying to calm herself down at least enough that they wouldn't gain a crowd, and finally bit out a rather low and stilted, "I know you weren't just standing there for the heck of it."

Of course, she didn't actually know that for sure, but she knew enough about him that she was willing to hedge her bets just this once. Drawing in a breath to calm herself, she was all set to say more - probably something pretty epic, too, she decided - when a couple of people passed by and one of them came much, much too close to the exposed area between her gloves and her arm for comfort.

Without even thinking about it, Rogue surged forward then shuffled to the side, so she was almost side by side with Erik and very nearly pressing against the same wall. The couple continued on, unaware of how close they'd come to a coma or possibly even death, and Rogue exhaled in relief. She cast a positively furious gaze at the man beside her, wishing she could somehow blame him for the situation yet knowing she really couldn't, then angrily snatched her bags up again.

"Go away," she hissed angrily. "Before I do something I might regret." It was the only warning she was going to give him, she decided as she stood there, waiting for him to take his leave. She might not know what she would do if he didn't listen but that was entirely beside the point.

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wealreadyare
2011-06-22 04:33 am UTC (link)

Shyness didn't seem to be a part of the equation. What one would take for it was adding to a whole other solution in his mind. She was afraid of contact with others. She was going out of her way to avoid it to a rather severe degree, to the point that that last avoidance might have even qualified as gymnastic. So even as the demand that he leave crossed her lips, Erik hardly felt as though that was the best course of action here. Whatever was making her avoid other people was not something he had pinpointed quite yet, but it was something that he felt he might be able to help.

Erik didn't even consider what her reaction might be as he reached out and settled a hand on her shoulder and offered her a look that fell somewhere between reassuring and arrogant, "It's not going to kill you," He said. "Building a wall between yourself and others... It will only make it that much harder to reengage when you find someone you want to know." Not that Erik felt like she was doing it completely. She appeared to trust Charles and consider Kitty a friend, so she wasn't entirely isolated. Yet, it was a hard pattern to break out of, concealing yourself from others, and even a single step in the right direction was one that he was willing to encourage.

He hardly wanted someone else to end up dealing with life as he did if it could be avoid.

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untouchable
2011-06-22 05:11 am UTC (link)

He touched her. He actually, physically touched her. Honestly, if Rogue hadn't been so shocked at his hand suddenly resting on her shoulder, she might have slapped him. Sure it wouldn't have stung so much since gloves kind of took the worst of the sting out of any slap, but it definitely would have felt good to do. However Rogue was too surprised at his action to even consider such a thing. Instead she simply reacted with the same defense mechanism that she did for anyone who dared to risk physical contact with her.

She promptly jerked away, all but leaping out of his grasp, and fixed him with a look that was a mixture of horrified and anger.

Her mouth opened, a scathing remark on her tongue, but she didn't actually say it. Words seemed to all but allude her so she simply settled for staring at him with her mouth hanging partially opened. After a few seconds, when her heartbeat had slowed and her mind was able to process everything, she decided to take another route entirely. With a calculating look in her eyes, she yanked off one of her gloves.

"You want to know how hard it is for me to engage someone?" she snapped. She drew in a breath as the glove pulled fully away from her flesh, then exhaled slowly. "Fine. Suit yourself."

Then she reached out and promptly grabbed his hand.

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wealreadyare
2011-06-22 05:35 am UTC (link)

It wasn't so bad at first, just like holding anyone else's hand, and he had been the verge of asking her just what she was attempting to prove when he felt it. It was a sharp, steady drawing that felt as though his entire being was being slowly siphoned out of his body through that single hand that was connected to her. It was a shock, a sensation that he definitely had not been prepared for, and one that was growing increasingly more painful with every passing second, and yet, he did his best to try not to rip away from her. Somewhere in the back of his mind Erik knew that the longer he held on, the more likely this was going to cause him harm. It certainly didn't feel as though whatever was happening was going to end in anything good. But he also knew logically that there was a great difference in how someone reacted when they were given the freedom to allow when to stop instead of someone fleeing from them.

Not that Erik was really sure exactly how much longer he could hold on without there being rather serious adverse side effects. All he could hope was that she wasn't feeling rather seriously vindictive enough at the moment in order to tighten her grip and make sure that he couldn't let go even when it reached the point that he had to try.

But considering how critical she had been of his actions, Erik could only assume she was a better person than that.

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untouchable
2011-06-22 06:01 am UTC (link)

Rogue wanted to hold on. She wanted to tighten her grip and pointedly refuse to let go. It would be so easy, her mind whispered. If she would just hold on for a few moments longer it would be all over and he could never - would never - hurt someone again. Then she thought of Bobby. Of Kitty. Of the Professor and Storm and everyone else she had come to know and respect during her time at the school. She even thought of John and how angry he'd been at the world. How she had promised herself the second he had switched sides that she would never let herself fall that far from what was right and just in the world.

With internal strength that Rogue honestly hadn't thought she'd possessed, she pulled her hand away and took a step back. Almost without thinking she turned, her gloved hand aimed at the nearest lightpole as she effortlessly caused it to bend it half simply by willing it so. With a carefully unreadable expression she looked back to Erik, shoving aside the handful of new memories she'd gotten from their combined touch, and said simply, and with a touch of bitterness that was definitely not her, "I imagine you likely have questions. Would you like a few minutes to compose yourself, first?"

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wealreadyare
2011-06-22 06:34 am UTC (link)

Erik wasn't sure how to react to what had just happened in front of him. He had been relieved when she had let go, finally able to take a full breath without feeling his crushing weight on his being and able to realize that he had been leaning against the wall for perhaps a bit more support than he should ever have needed to, but the sudden twisting of the nearest lightpole jerked his mind from its struggling concentration on his own body and switched his attention immediately to her.

He hadn't done that. It had taken most of his concentration in order to keep from falling over when he'd been released from her grasp. And as he didn't see Nikola anywhere on the street nor did he feel that Charles's new lab partner was one prone to smashing lightpoles for fun, there was only one other possibility present.

"Remarkable," Erik said, realizing briefly that this must be what Charles always felt like. Despite how physically weak he felt, a matter that had always left Erik feeling both vulnerable and defensive under normal circumstances, the amazement that he felt was more than compensating for any negative thoughts that found themselves creeping up on him as leaning against the wall turning into sliding down the wall and sitting himself on the sidewall to concentrate on breathing rather than splitting it between breathing and standing.

"It still doesn't mean you have to be afraid," He said, even as his mind turned over the possibility that a few seconds longer, and he would have crumpled under his own weight, or perhaps, even what it meant for her to touch someone who didn't have an ability to act as a buffer. He knew that constantly being afraid that you were going to hurt someone else was no way to live life. He couldn't imagine what it had to be like to know that even an accidental touch could do permanent damage.

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untouchable
2011-06-22 11:23 pm UTC (link)

Whatever reaction Rogue had been expecting, that most certainly had not been it. The 'remarkable' wasn't very off-putting. He had clearly been interested in her ability when he was older so it stood to reason he would find it interesting now. The rest, however, caused her to take pause. Her brow furrowed slightly, eyes widened a bit, and she probably would have had her jaw drop as well if she hadn't already had her teeth grit together.

"What?" she finally managed to ask, blinking once. "Another fifteen seconds and you'd be dead right now and you're telling me I don't have to be afraid?" Honestly, Rogue wasn't sure whether to scream at him or whether to simply disregard him. She finally settled for a slight shake of her head - the white streaks that framed her face swaying slightly from the motion - and snorted softly.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," she bit out bitterly, absently stepping closer to the wall to avoid an oncoming group of locals. She might have said more, probably would have in fact, but for some reason stopped herself. It wasn't worth it, she decided. Getting upset, staying so angry and bitter toward him... if she didn't stop soon, she was going to turn out the same way he would someday and that was the very last thing Rogue ever wanted.

She had to be better than that. Or she had to at least try. So with a soft sigh and a muttered, "Forget it," she stared at him for a second longer. Then she did something she never thought she would ever do in a million years.

She held out her glove-covered hand to help him to his feet.

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wealreadyare
2011-06-23 12:49 am UTC (link)

Erik reached up, taking the extended hand as he pushed himself back to his feet. "Perhaps I don't," He said as soon as he was back to his feet. "I've never had to worry about hurting someone simply by brushing against them, but I do know what it's like to not be able to entirely control the results of your ability," He said quietly. There had been many times in his past that his ability had taken control of him rather than the other way around. There had been many times just after the war where he had ended up wrecking havoc just because his emotions got the better of him. He was certain that he had even harmed a few people during that time. Not that he had stayed in one place long enough after something like that happened to really know for sure. It had always just been easier to leave than try and deal with the fallout and fear that came from people not understanding.

"I know that you might not think it," Erik said carefully, knowing that he was probably treading in dangerous territory, "but you're extremely lucky. You live in a time where, no matter how much you all have to struggle with society as well as your own gifts, you know that you're not doing it alone."

Starting to feel a little of his strength start to come back into him, Erik looked up at Rogue and offered her a thoughtful expression, "Whatever you might think of me, I'm not your enemy. Not here, no matter what I have or haven't done in a future that I know nothing of. We are of the same family, a bond that extends far beyond the typical thoughts of blood, and we don't need to be at each other's throats."

Not here. Not when there was no enemy to tear them into two separate camps.

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untouchable
2011-06-25 12:03 am UTC (link)

Although she was loathe to admit it, Rogue knew that he was speaking the truth. She was lucky, in a way, that she had others that she could bond with over being mutants. She knew how alone she had felt when she'd first discovered her power and had run away from home. She also remembered clearly how amazed she'd been to discover Logan and realize that she wasn't alone in the world as she had thought she was. Then she had been taken to the school and, rather than sticking out like a sore thumb had fit in seamlessly. Yes, there had been several bumps in the road along the way but, over two years later, she finally knew what it felt like to be part of a group and fully accepted, flaws and faults and all.

Of course, there was more to her willingness to agree with Erik's carefully spoken comment than simply knowing he was right. The fact was, when she had touched him, she had been bombarded with an entirely new set of memories and emotions from the man. And although she knew they weren't quite as strong because she hadn't had contact with him as long as she had that night on the Statue of Liberty, she did have to admit that they were definitely different than what she'd been stuck with the first time around.

Yes, the bitterness was there. He was definitely jaded. However there were other, more subtle differences, as well as an entirely new bunch of memories to go with it. Which included things that she could only assume the older version of the man had locked away long before. They were much more personal, far more tragic, and most definitely more heartbreaking, at any rate.

They also served to put into perspective the real motivations behind Erik's decisions. It wasn't so much that he loathed all humans with ever fiber of his being. It was rather that he felt quite certain, thanks to the things he'd both experienced and seen through his younger years, that it was only a matter of time before humanity as a whole turned on mutants and he was bound and determined not to be the victim this time around. And while Rogue wanted to say that she couldn't relate to such a thing, that Charles Xavier's influence in her life had been such that she had long since set aside her animosity toward the narrow-minded bigots she'd met during her time on the road... well, that would be lying and Rogue tried her very best not to lie if she could help it.

Of course, she wasn't really expecting to find herself having quite so much in common with the man who would someday be known as Magneto, yet she couldn't deny that was the case. So with a steady look she replied evenly, "Don't expect me to be friends with you." She paused, swallowed, then added, "But I can... play nice, for the sake of everyone." The words tasted sour on her tongue yet she continued.

"And it isn't just their power or energy that I take. It's all of it. Emotions. Thoughts. Memories." She hesitated. "I probably know more about you than the Professor, thanks to my skin. And I can't control it. Not even a little." She didn't say it for sympathy and certainly wasn't asking for any kind of help. She just wanted him to know, to realize, just what happened every single time he touched her. It wasn't all bent light poles and sardonic, bitter commentary. It was far, far more than that and much more intimate than she had a feeling he really wanted to be with a relative stranger.

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wealreadyare
2011-06-25 01:35 am UTC (link)

Playing nice was something, and considering what she had actually managed to tell him, he could only assume that it was likely more than he could have hoped for in normal circumstances. Given that she had likely only barely held her back from murdering him outright just now, he thought of this as a productive step forward into a more amicable situation all around. At least, until she told him that her power was not just limited to taking his. With Charles, it had been one thing. Keeping him out actively had never been an option. It was simply up to Charles in order to restrain himself. But even as it was something that Charles was willing to do, Erik wasn't outwardly worried about Charles seeing him thoughts, any of them, as he trusted the other man not to use any of them against him. He was better than that.

Staring across at her, Erik wasn't really sure how to react to the knowledge that this virtual stranger knew him that well know as well.

But even as he tensed at the thought, there was something reflect in his eyes that wasn't anger or resentment like one might expect. Instead, it was more akin to an understanding sympathy at her predicament. After all, he could only imagine getting settled with his memories when one didn't ask for them. After all, he hardly wanted most of them. After a long silence, Erik dipped his eyes down to the sidewalk with a soft sigh, "I'm sorry. No one else should have to deal with anything that's in my head. I have a hard enough time with it myself."

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untouchable
2011-07-19 04:03 am UTC (link)

Rogue wasn't expecting him to apologize and, frankly, wasn't sure what to say. She had to agree, in a way, that his memories weren't good ones. They were filled with disappointment, betrayal, and heartache. However she hadn't before realized just how hard of a time he had with them. Which, she knew, was because she had steadfastly refused before now to think of him in any light other than the veritable monster who had very nearly killed her.

"Yeah," she finally replied, tugging her gloves higher up her arms and sighing softly herself. "Well, believe it or not, I've seen worse." In a manner of speaking, at least. The memories from Logan's head were unquestionably awful but were also much, much more jumbled and almost nightmare-ish in comparison to the ones floating around in Erik's head. She wanted to add more, to assure him she wouldn't use his memories against him, that she had no intention of anything even similar. However Rogue knew that promises from someone you didn't know never amounted to much and she wasn't going to say it simply for the sake of doing so. No, she would just have to show him by not bringing any of it up, at any time, no matter what.

So instead she added carefully, "And I guess I owe you an apology. It's not fair, me blaming you for things you haven't done yet." Her expression was an unreadable one, her eyes shining with barely contained emotions at discussing something that had been so traumatic for her. "So... I'm sorry. I know it wasn't you who did all of that." Not yet, anyway. "And if everybody else can get a second chance in this place, you should be able to do the same."

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wealreadyare
2011-07-19 04:27 am UTC (link)

The thought that she had seen worse than what his memories had to offer didn't sit well with Erik. She was so young, and if what he had gone through had given him any firm beliefs, it was that someone so young shouldn't have to be put through anything like that. Whatever had altered the thought process, he couldn't imagine. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around anything that his future self had been accused of doing. But either way, he wished that what she had said wasn't true or, if he could, to go back and try to lessen whatever he had just added to the things she had to remember.

"I think," He said, offering her a slightly hesitant smile, "perhaps we should agree to take this situation for what it is. You shouldn't have to apologize for what you feel, no more than I should have to apologize for something that I haven't done yet. Let's...just start again," He said, smiling with a hint more confidence as he cleared his throat before extending a hand to her again.

"Erik Lehnsherr. It's a pleasure to meet you."

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untouchable
2011-07-19 09:30 am UTC (link)

On a list of things Rogue would consider the very definition of surreal, she was sure this had to be somewhere near the top of the list. Never in a million years would she have imagined herself standing on a street corner, having a conversation with a younger version of the man she'd someday know as Magneto. And if someone had told her that their conversation would actually lead to a handshake and agreement to start things over? Well, Rogue would have called them completely crazy and meant every word of it.

Yet that's exactly what was happening. Surreal or not, Rogue didn't even hesitate before giving him a smile of her own. Then she extended her gloved hand once more, shaking his for a second. Then she did something that she had only done a handful of times since she had first run away from home.

"Marie D'ancanto," she said, using her real name rather than the codename she'd adopted while on the run. "It's a pleasure to meet you, too."

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