InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm schizophrenic--and so am I"

Sirius O. Black (pad_foot) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-04-18 09:56:00

Entry tags:

regulus black, sirius black

Who: Girl!Reg and Sirius
What: Sirius gets a phone call informing him that his brother/sister is in fact a violent lunatic. Sirius agrees.
When: Monday morning, around 9am.
Where: All over the shop.
Rating/Warnings: Swearing. At the very least.
Status: Incomplete

Sirius was sat crossed-legged on the side in James and Lily's kitchen. He'd been here a few days, actually, since the start of this mad 'pick 'n mix' experiment that was currently sending the whole town mental. It wasn't only because he was playing the overprotective guard dog to his still-troubled best friend and his wife. It was just easier to hang around with someone who knew all his secrets anyway - every time he saw Remus or anyone else he was tempted to shoot his mouth off like a crazy person. It was only a matter of time until he got beaten up, really. Lily had already slapped him more times than Sirius felt was strictly neccessary.

So here he was, sat on the side, perkier than the hour should allow, watching bacon sizzle in the pan. He was just watching the strips of salty, processed meat slide themselves between two slices of bread while the pan floated aimlessly towards the sink when his phone buzzed. There was a moment of mild panic where Sirius couldn't find the damn thing, before it was finally located underneath the newspaper. A number he didn't recognise flashed on the screen.

The animagus froze, considering. As Eames had pointed out, he really was quite crap at going off the radar. Turned out that staying hidden was a bit of an issue when you needed attention 24:7. With a sigh, Sirius picked up his bacon sandwich and took a massive bite, hitting a button and pressing the phone to his ear as he chewed. Someone was babbling on about accepting a call and Sirius dismissed them without really listening, doing his best of juggle a cigarette and a cup of tea as well as the sandwich and phone.

The cigarette fell in the tea.

Sirius swore loudly down the phone.

(Post a new comment)

arrogant_black
2011-04-18 09:58 am UTC (link)

The morning has not been as fun as waiting around in a dark cell had promised it would be. Regulus was herded from one part of the jail to the next for processing and a 'hearing' before a judge - which just turned out to be talking into a camera because apparently this type of hearing was done via video feed rather than directly in front of the judge. Some prosecutor detailed his 'crime' to the judge, then the judge asked him question about where he lived, his job, ties to the community. Regulus lied about each question because he figured he wouldn't be a girl forever and the person being charged with these crimes was, according to the record, a woman.

But then bail was leveled, $1000 cash or bond. As a first time 'caught' offender he apparently was given a lighter bail amount than his crime warranted. The prosecutor wasn't pleased that the amount was set so low that a 'violent criminal' could easily return to the public. In the end it didn't matter.

The only problem was getting someone to come get him and post the bail. He would have to pay them back as he didn't have the money on him at the moment. He just needed to get it. He couldn't call Juno, because she wasn't only seventeen, and the person posting bail would need to be an adult. Eames would be at work teaching. Morgana seemed to be dealing with enough shit at the moment. Ariadne possibly at work. Sirius, also the same. It was a toss up between those latter two. In the end he chose Sirius, simply because the man's forced honesty thing might prove beneficial to Regulus' needs.

He waited at the pay phone for his brother to pick up. Hoping he would pick up, more like it. With anxiety and impatience he tapped on the outer shell of the phone. It annoyed the guard, Regulus could tell, but he didn't care.

Then his brother's voice, clearly incredulous and full of disbelief came on. One word, "Dickhead?" At least that was predictable?

"Twatface, I need you to come bail me out of jail." Regulus decided to say it aw quickly as possible, in case his brother just decided to hang up on him.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

pad_foot
2011-04-18 10:21 am UTC (link)

Sirius didn't think he'd ever get used to hearing that very female voice on the other end of the phone.

"But I just made a sandwich!" Sirius paused with his wand in his hand, phone wedged between his ear and shoulder. "Wait... Jail?" he repeated incredulously, doing what he hoped was quite a good job of backpeddaling. He couldn't help but give a mildly amused smirk. For some reason the idea of composed Regulus, self-important in his (her?) stiff shirts, sat fuming in a jail cell struck him as rather funny. "What're you doing in jail, you wanker? Accio."

The cigarette extracted itself soggily from the tea and landed in Sirius' waiting palm. The animagus gave it a mournful look, then peered into the mug to assess the damage. Deciding the drink was a lost cause, Sirius peered hopefully towards the Potters kettle, as if another cup would spontaneously begin to brew. It didn't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

arrogant_black
2011-04-18 10:54 am UTC (link)

"Then bring the sandwich, it's between two pieces of bread for convenience," Regulus spoke over his brother's protest. Really, there was an easy remedy here.

And then his brother caught on to the full situation. Regulus paused, not sure how much his brother would want to know, considering his past and certain acts that should have landed him in Azkaban. And Sirius didn't seem to keen on knowing anything about Blackhurst.

"Some asshole told me to smile so I hit him a few times." Not the full truth but maybe it would do. "Look, are you going to come get me or not?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2011-04-18 12:21 pm UTC (link)

Sirius groaned, snatching up the sandwich, speaking through a mouthful of bread and bacon. "Well, that was stupid. What if he'd hit you back? You're hardly known for your brute strength when you're a bloke." He rolled his eyes, sloping through the main room to collect his jacket from where it was chucked over the back of the sofa. Bloody typical. When had this ever been part of the 'lets not try and murder my brother' agreement? He better at least get a present out of this.

"Give me five minutes." He hung up the phone without another word, slipping it into his jacket pocket along with his wand. Another moment later and he'd left James a note and was apparating into the reception area of the police station. For a moment, Sirius entertained some brief memory of ending up in a place like this following James' stag do. Ah. Memories... Keeping his smirk to a minimum, Sirius approached the girl behind the desk.

"I'm here to collect my bro- sis-. The girl who beat up some guy."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

arrogant_black
2011-04-18 12:41 pm UTC (link)

Regulus rolled his eyes and hung up. He then turned to the guard to indicate he should be taken back to his cell to wait. The guard didn't say anything, but only let him back through the building.

The girl at the front desk was chewing gum, slouched before a computer screen and occasionally making half smiles at something she was reading. Clearly she was not doing much work. She glanced up when the tall man came in, and then did a double take, rarely did people that good looking waltz through the front door. She chewed her gum loudly for a moment, trying to process what he said then remembered who this man was referring to, it wasn't often that a woman came in for beating up a man that thoroughly, "Oh right."

She turned back to the computer and clicked a few times on the mouse, all the while sneaking glances at the man. In short order something started printing on another machine. The girl pulled the piece of paper off the machine and slapped it on the counter, along with another piece she pulled from a stack on the desk.

"Okay, this is her name," she pointed to 'Regulus Black', which was right next to 'Defendant', "these are the charges," the girl pointed to a list charges, 'Aggravated Assault with Intent to Cause Serious Bodily Harm', 'Resisting Arrest', and 'Assault on an Office X3'. "Here's her next court date, and sign here stating that she was released into your custody."

The other paper was then placed before Sirius. "These are the lists of bond companies. To bail your sister out is a thousand dollars cash or you can pay one hundred dollars as collateral to a bondsman and they'll cover the rest."

She stared, blinking at Sirius, waiting for his response.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2011-04-18 01:02 pm UTC (link)

Sirius yawned, threading both hands through his hair and then leaning over the desk as something began to print. If Regulus had just had his magic, he could have just apparated out of here and no' one would be any the wiser. It was bloody ridiculous. A piece of paper was shoved under his nose, and Sirius blinked down at it, a faint wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows as he scanned the lines of very small, very boring looking print.

A thousand dollars?!

"I'm going to kill her," he told the receptionist conversationally, and then he pulled his wallet out of his pocket. Sirius had never been a bloke who really paid attention to money - it had never been an issue for him before. These days, while he was here and earning his own, he was a little better but still, no'one could call him responsible. But he had some idea of how much he had and he knew he could cover a thousand dollars. And getting other people involved was too much hassle.

"Let me grab some cash," he checked, flashing the girl a lazy smile.

Five minutes later Sirius was sliding the paper towards him and picking up a pen, scrawling 'S. O. Black' on the dotted line at the bottom. A bundle of notes were passed over. The wizard slumped over the desk, twirling the pen between his fingers as the receptionist tapped on a few more keys, her face illuminated by the light on the screen. "Is that it, then?" he checked, offering over an automatically flirtatious smile. "Nothing else I can help you with?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

arrogant_black
2011-04-18 01:44 pm UTC (link)

Regulus was laying on the mattress when the guard returned and unlocked the cell gate. About time, though, if Regulus had any true idea about how long the average wait was for someone waiting for bail he'd realize he'd got off on the quick end. But then, even with that perspective he probably would have still pouted over the long seconds that had ticked by.

He was in for another bout of processing, that's all they ever seemed to do in this place, process inmates from one corner to the next. But he was given his 'civilian' clothes, and he could get out of the orange things he'd been forced to wear over night. And then was lead around to where his brother was flirting with the front desk girl. Typical.

"Are you ready?" he asked impatiently.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2011-04-18 01:59 pm UTC (link)

Sirius rose his eyebrows as his brother sloped into view, boobs and all. Still, even if he looked different, the irritated little grumble was completely Regulus. Sirius rolled his eyes in the direction of the desk girl. "That's gratitude for you." He pushed himself off the desk with a perky grin and a quirked eyebrow. "Nice meeting you! I might see you around? Not that I'm planning on getting arrested... But you never know! Now that I know the type of people who work here..."

He shot one last grin in the girls direction and turned properly to meet his brother, who was looking about as grumpy as it was possible to look. Sirius smiled cheerily, more to wind him up than anything else. "You got arrested," he commented. "You fucking idiot. Who gets arrested while they're sober? And you owe me a grand."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

arrogant_black
2011-04-18 02:10 pm UTC (link)

Regulus narrowed his eyes at that stupid grin. He knew his brother was doing it just to irritate him. But at least Regulus wasn't harboring any thoughts about smacking that grin off. He'd completely worn himself out on that fuckwit he sent to the hospital. He was even a bit sore now that he thought about it.

He rolled his eyes and snatched the paper the front counter girl was offering to Sirius, knowing there really was no way they were for him, and then, without another word turned for the door. He waited until he was outside the confines of the jailhouse before answering his brother's question, the one that was asked over the phone and just now, though with different words.

"Some asshole touched me." He didn't feel the need to elaborate on how he seemed to have a large, flashing sign above his head that yelled 'Molest Me'. Instead he turned his attention to the paper, giving it a once over look, it was just a hard copy of everything the prosecutor had said before the judge. "I told him to piss off before he did it. If he had trouble with comprehension that wasn't my problem."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2011-04-18 02:33 pm UTC (link)

Sirius followed his brother out into the fresh air, squinting a little in the sudden natural light. He sighed heavily at his younger brothers words, shooting the other Black a 'look'. "Regulus."

He did get Regulus' weird set of issues, better now than he had ever done in the past. And he was kind of sympathetic. And kind of annoyed with whoever the bloke was - he probably would have hit him too, if he'd been about. But then again, he was the master of the overreaction. Or so he'd thought. Perhaps Reg was catching him up.

"You can't go around beating people up though!" he pointed out. "That's actually mental. It's not like they mean to freak you out. Usually. And did you really have to..." he reached out before Regulus could argue, snatching the papers and scanning them quickly. "Resist arrest and assult an officer? Times three? You could have saved me a few hundred." He exhaled again, passing the papers back.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

arrogant_black
2011-04-18 02:55 pm UTC (link)

With each word his brother said the stonier Regulus' expression grew. Whether born from an honest belief Regulus had acted inappropriately or some bizarre belief he had to make this a 'teaching' moment simply because he was the older brother didn't matter, it all sounded the same to Regulus. Admonition for defending himself. Sure bating the man to a pulp was excessive, but he had told the man to leave him alone first, if the man wasn't willing to back down, neither would Regulus.

"What?" he spat and grasped the paper back, "too much backbone? What should I do next time, let it happen?" He didn't bother hiding the hurt in his voice. Sirius and Juno were the only two who knew anything about Blackhurst, he'd figured if anyone would be an ally in this it would be them. Not finding that was a bit of a blow.

He stared defiantly at his brother for a moment then turned in some direction, maybe it would have led back to the buildings, who knew, he'd get there eventually. "Don't get your knickers in a twist over your money, I'll pay you back," he called over his shoulder and kept walking.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2011-04-18 03:07 pm UTC (link)

Oh, for Godric's sake. Could that bloke (girl?) be any touchier? Sometimes Sirius was convinced that Regulus took everything the wrong way on purpose, just to piss him off. And now he couldn't even tell if he was angry or guilty. Probably both. And frustrated. And really in need of a cigarette. Sirius let his head roll back with a groan, long hair tickling the nape of his neck, sending the heavens a resigned glare before jogging to catch up with his brother.

When had he started trying to catch up with Regulus? It wasn't that long ago he'd have just let him storm off and have his little tantrum. There was still that part of him, grumbling somewhere that he should have just stayed at James' and left Regulus to sort himself out.

"Don't be an idiot," he commented dryly, catching up with Regulus and increasing his stride to keep up with the other Blacks angry pacing. "You know that's not what I meant. For Gods sake, Regulus, don't throw a fit." He almost mentioned that he'd just shelled out for him, and Regulus hadn't even said thanks yet, but decided just to bite down hard on his tongue instead. The words stewed in his throat for a moment, bubbling up from his chest, before finally dying away and Sirius felt it was safe to speak again.

"You want me to apparate you home?" he asked, his voice suddenly a little tight and distant.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

arrogant_black
2011-04-18 03:36 pm UTC (link)

Regulus turned on his brother, ready to fire again, asking what he really meant by all that. But bit it all back and even swallowed the part where he would have said that Sirius wouldn't ever understand. And he only did that because he could see his brother wasn't saying just any number of random things that popped into his mind at that moment. His brother might not be saying what he wanted to hear but it probably wasn't worth a falling out over. Regulus just made a mental note not to seek sympathy from his brother on this issue.

"Ya, fine," he may be holding back his retort, but it was clearly evident in the tone of his voice, which took more effort to get under control. "Walking home right now would probably land me back in there anyway."

"And," to say the rest meant he had to swallow a great deal of pride along with all those words, "thanks for coming to get me. And that's the most gratitude you're getting out of me so shut up."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2011-04-18 05:21 pm UTC (link)

Honestly, could the prat be any more irritating if he tried? He should had stayed back at home, talking crap to James and throwing stuff at him as he attempted to play Mario Kart. He was pretty sure he hadn't been this ungrateful when they'd escaped from jail after James' stag. But then, they had just apparated back home, leaving an empty cell behind, and the whole thing had turned into a rather amusing story about 'that time James got naked and Sirius stuck his tongue in a policeman's ear as a distraction.'

Still, he nodded at Regulus' thanks. That made it a bit better. He recognized that it took a lot for Regulus to say stuff like that. Stuck-up dickhead that he was. Without another word, but with his jaw clenched quite tight against the wave of honest, irritated wave of word-vomit that was trying to burst out of him, Sirius offered Regulus his arm to apparate away.

(Reply to this) (Parent)