InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "ice"

Miles Matheson [Revolution] (butiwaswrong) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-03-24 20:34:00

Entry tags:

!@event, dean winchester (end!verse), parker, sam winchester

Who: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
What: Discovering his powers
When: Today
Where: Starting in his room, but moving on from there.
Warnings: Language
Status: Open if someone wants to encounter him

Time barely had any meaning to him, anymore. He didn't care about day or night, and the thick draperies over his window blocked out the sun so he never really knew the difference anyway. He slept when he felt like it, and paced the room when he couldn't sleep. He hadn't been outside for days, weeks, he didn't even know how long. He didn't care.

He'd done the one thing he'd never meant to do. He'd hurt Sam. He'd tried to destroy Sam. His entire life had been about protecting Sam, until Sam was gone. He'd failed Sammy, wholly and completely, to epic proportions. He'd let Lucifer claim him, and he'd been helpless to stop it from happening. In Colligo, he had a second chance, a chance to right all the wrongs, and save Sammy once and for all.

Instead, he'd nearly killed him, would have killed him if Cas hadn't found them. Cas had been the one to save him, while Dean had been the one set on destroying him. Dean sat in the chair in his room, his tiny corner of the world. He hadn't even asked Cas how Sam was. He knew Cas had healed him, and physically Sam was all right. Mentally, that was a whole other issue, and Dean couldn't go there with Sam until he dealt with his own mental break down.

At least he knew he'd screwed up, except that knowing what he'd done proved that he wasn't insane. He couldn't blame the attack on Sam on some kind of insanity. He'd been of sound mind when he'd done it. The break down had happened after.

He needed to know if Sam was all right. He didn't deserve to know anything about Sam, but he needed to know. He closed his eyes, and felt the world shift. it was subtle, and it was huge. He had no idea what was happening, but when he opened his eyes, he found himself in his brother's bedroom. He stumbled, and caught a hand on Sam's dresser. He must have made enough noise to wake the dead, but Sam didn't seem to be bothered.

Dean blinked rapidly, to clear his focus. Sam was face down in the bed, shirtless and sleeping under a sheet. His face was turned away from Dean, and Dean might have thought it was an illusion, but Sam moved, shifted, turned over.

Dean stood very still, frozen there staring at Sam. Sam faced him now, his eyes closed. He looked so innocent, so peaceful that Dean very nearly reached out to touch him. Instead, he closed his eyes and will himself away, anywhere but there. He felt himself hurled through time and space, though it only took a matter of seconds. He landed on unsteady feet in the middle of the local park.

"Holy fuck." He turned in a circle, taking in the sights.

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inafivepoundbag
2011-03-26 10:57 pm UTC (link)

She was all set to point out what seemed like a pretty obvious lesson this place wanted Dean to learn but he managed to get there quickly enough himself that it wasn't necessary. She definitely agreed that this whole thing sucked. She wasn't supposed to be an angel and Dean wasn't supposed to be able to go anywhere he wanted in the blink of an eye. Neither of them were balanced enough for those sorts of responsibilities and she doubted there were many people in the city who would say otherwise.

Still. They had them now and, if there was one thing Parker had quickly learned when it came to the abilities she'd been given, everything actually did happen for a reason. So as much as the thought annoyed her, she supposed she just had to believe that was the case with this, too.

"At least it got you out of the house," she pointed out finally, with a slight shrug. She knew Dean didn't really consider himself ready to leave but she also felt he was definitely in need of some time out of the apartment and, as much as she hated even thinking it, away from Cas as well. "The rest of it... well, we can't change it and fighting it seems pretty dumb. So I guess we just roll with it, like usual."

That wasn't what she wanted to say. This wasn't the conversation she wanted to have. Parker wanted to ask him about That Night. Wanted to really talk to him. However, when it came to emotions - and especially discussing them - as bad as it sounded, out of the three of them only Cas seemed really capable of doing that. So unless Dean started spilling his guts on his own, it wasn't likely to happen without Cas there to urge them on.

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butiwaswrong
2011-03-26 11:32 pm UTC (link)

"There's a reason I wasn't..." Dean shook his head. They were dangerously close, dancing around a subject he didn't want to talk about. He wasn't sure he could talk about it, really. "I shouldn't be out, now." He knew it was true, but he wasn't willing to go back. Now that he was out, he couldn't bear the thought of going back in that room.

He'd spent two weeks living like a caged animal, contained in a small space. He'd been in a sort of cocoon there, protected from the outside world, while the outside world was protected from him. But freedom tasted good at the same time it left a sour taste on his tongue.

"I don't even have my PDA." He sighed, scrubbed a hand over his face. He was going to rub his face raw, if he kept doing that. He didn't know what else to do. He needed to do something with his hands. He felt restless, listless, antsy. He had no right to the powers he had, no matter the lesson he was supposed to learn by having them.

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inafivepoundbag
2011-03-27 12:02 am UTC (link)

Parker left the subject alone after his comments. She could practically feel the tension in the air as the subject they weren't going to discuss came yet closer to the surface. It made Parker feel twitchy, thinking about trying to discuss something she couldn't even wrap her mind around. She didn't understand why Dean had attacked Druitt or Sam. She knew he had issues. She understood that much. But the complexities of his emotions and mindset at the time were wholly foreign to her and apparently not even grace from God Himself made it any clearer.

So instead she focused on what he'd said next, feeling a touch better at something she could help with. "I can fix that!" she announced. And with a soft fluttering of wings, she was gone, returning a heartbeat later with his PDA in her grasp.

"Here you go. At least now you can see the rest of the crazy," she said as she tossed it to him, wanting to recognize his unspoken desire to not have anyone in his personal space. It stung, a bit, to know Cas could get a lot closer to Dean than she could, but Parker also understood it. They had a bond that she just wasn't a part of. It sucked, sometimes, but that's just the way it was.

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butiwaswrong
2011-03-27 12:54 am UTC (link)

Dean caught the PDA, and glanced at it. He didn't feel inclined to boot up the network right then and there. He slid the device into his pocket and patted it down. "Thanks." The gesture was sincere, and it showed in his expression for a couple of seconds before he went neutral again.

He'd considered leaving the cave while she was gone, but he didn't think of a place to go, and she was back before he could really work it out. He was grateful for the PDA, he'd been dreading going back to get it himself. He wanted nothing to do with the apartment, for the time being, and if Cas was human again, he should probably keep his distance for a while.

"Is Sam...do you know if he's all right? Powers, I mean." Because he knew good and well that Sam was not all right, no matter what Sam would have people believe.

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inafivepoundbag
2011-03-27 01:00 am UTC (link)

Parker just nodded at the thanks. The sincere expression made her smile slightly and assured her she'd done something right, which definitely made her feel a bit better. Maybe, she decided, she wasn't completely awful at this angel stuff like she thought she was.

At the mention of Sam, Parker shifted a bit. Any talks of his brother ran a risk of bringing up That Night, as she was sure Dean knew. But obviously he was worried and Parker, while she didn't feel herself capable of handing the emotions tied into that whole mess, wanted to put his mind at ease. So finally she sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"He's getting visions, I think," she answered honestly. She was awful at lying and wasn't about to try to lie to Dean, anyway. "The ones that the girl you were stuck with for a week gets, I'm pretty sure." It wasn't the best of news, but at least it was the truth.

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butiwaswrong
2011-03-27 02:14 am UTC (link)

Dean nodded. "He's had visions before." And it wasn't pretty. Dean remembered all too well. At least it was something he knew how to deal with. Dean didn't imagine that was something you ever forgot. He hated it, hated that Sam had to go through that again, but he knew there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Cordy," he said softly. "She knows? She'll look after him, I'm sure." He'd started out despising the woman when they'd been bound together by the forces of Colligo, but it hadn't taken long for his opinion of her to change. She grew on him, and he kind of wanted to talk to her. She was one person he might be able to talk to now, because she didn't know his brother or any of the madness...but she probably knew what happened, what he'd done. Why would she want to talk to him after that?

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inafivepoundbag
2011-03-27 02:26 am UTC (link)

Even though she was pretty sure she'd heard somewhere before that Sam used to have visions - either from Cas, or maybe Dean, or possibly even Sam himself - Parker still had a feeling that this was going to turn out to be something at least a bit different than what he was used to. She hoped that wasn't the case, of course. Sam had been through more than enough without adding yet more to it. However she held out no illusions that this place was going to take it easy on him. It hadn't as of yet. Why bother now?

"She seems like a good person," she said after a few seconds. "Plus he's got Claire with him and I think their Cas was going to stay there too. He'll be fine." Truth be told, Parker wasn't sure if she was assuring him for his own well being or for hers. However she believed what she was saying and, if nothing else, it helped make her feel a little better hearing it out loud.

Growing quiet for a few more seconds, Parker considered what to say next. There was so much, and nothing much at all, really. It was odd, having her own insecurities at this sort of emotional situation mixing with the angelic abilities that wanted her to do something to make it better again. Finally, she settled for a simple, "Maybe you should use your PDA again, Dean. Get a feel for everybody out there. I don't think it's as bad as you think it is."

It was the closest she was willing to come to discussing the situation and simply hoped he didn't get too upset at her for suggesting it.

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butiwaswrong
2011-03-27 02:55 am UTC (link)

Claire and Cas were with Sam. What about Dean? Dean wanted to know, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. He knew he'd destroyed his younger self as much as he'd destroyed Sam. Maybe more so, in some ways.

He just shook his head and sighed. "I don't know..." He pulled the PDA out of his pocket even as he voiced his doubt. He looked at the blank screen for a long moment before he hit the button to pull up the network.

"I kept expecting the mob to come for me. Or men with a nice, tight white coat." He figured Cas had kept both away. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed, but he was grateful for Cas' devotion to him, faith in him despite everything he'd done. It made no sense, and he sure as hell didn't deserve it, but then he'd never deserved Cas at all.

After a moment, he looked up at Parker. "I need to get out of here."

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inafivepoundbag
2011-03-27 03:59 am UTC (link)

Parker purposefully hadn't mentioned the other Dean because, well, she wasn't entirely sure where he was right now. She knew he was Death. That much was easy to tell. The rest, though, was anybody's guess and, considering the man was probably gunning for her Dean and her Dean was just dumb enough to seek him out? She wasn't about to say a word.

"There wasn't a mob," she assured him. "Or men from the crazy farm. Almost everyone involved kept it pretty private." She didn't say anything more. Once again, they were too close to that conversation they were both trying to avoid.

"If you want to go, go," she said finally, offering a slight smile. "I'm not going to stalk you, Dean. You have to get out there on your own sometime." She shrugged then smiled. "Plus, if you need me, you know how to reach me. I'll just have to trust you'll do that if things get dicey."

It was a big thing, for Parker to openly admit she trusted someone. However it was also true. There were only a handful of people she trusted. Despite all that had happened, Dean was still very much one of them.

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butiwaswrong
2011-03-27 04:36 am UTC (link)

Dean nodded. He understood the gesture for what it was. The fact he reciprocated said a lot, about both of them and how far they'd come, how much they'd been through. Dean hadn't counted on Parker remaining an ally after what he'd done, but he was glad that she hadn't abandoned him.

"I'm not going to go after Druitt." He shook his head, smiling just a little. "That would be pretty shitty, using his powers to take him down. I did think about stopping by just to say hi." He wouldn't go anywhere near Druitt. Others on the network might be attempting to help each other out with their newfound powers. He wasn't interested in having any conversation with John Druitt. Ever.

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inafivepoundbag
2011-03-27 06:43 pm UTC (link)

"Probably for the best that you don't stop by," Parker replied with a touch of a grin. Her eyes sparkled with merriment as she added, "Even if it would be funny." Because yes, Parker was more than capable of both admitting something was a Bad Idea and also acknowledging how humorous it would be to see happen. And the idea of Dean teleporting to Druitt just to say hi then leaving again? Would be tacky but hilarious.

However the Bad Idea aspect trumped the humour, for which Parker was actually glad. Knowing their luck, Druitt would have some built-in way to keep Dean from teleporting out and that would really suck. So she had to just amuse herself with the thought rather than the action, giving a bemused shake of her head.

"Well, you've got your PDA and can pop in and out all over the place," she said as she refocused on Dean. "I'd say you're about as good to go as you're going to get." Not that she meant Dean was actually ready to take on the city. She honestly didn't know if he was or wasn't. But she did believe he'd contact her if he got into a jam and, well, that was just going to have to be good enough.

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