InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Have a little faith, baby."

Rose Tyler (blaidd_drwg_) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2010-08-12 16:54:00

Entry tags:

!closed, #complete, rose tyler, sirius black

Who: Rose and Sirius
What: Dealing with his anger issues
When: Really late
Where: Her apartment
Rating: TBD.
Status: Incomplete

She couldn't sleep, she just kept waiting for any word from him. She was worried, there was no doubting it. She could guess just bad his temper could be. She had been lucky enough that she hadn't made dinner yet so simply ordered something in, not eating most of it and just putting the left overs in the fridge. She could heat it up again later if she was hungry but she just couldn't eat. Not until she heard about what was going on. It was strange, she had only known him for such a short time and she already cared a lot for him. She guessed they just became friends quickly. And they had their arrangement.

She grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch, putting on some music and hoping that would maybe at least help her sleep. It wasn't until a few hours later she had dozed off, and it didn't seem she had been sleeping long when she heard a bang at her door. Jumping up, she frowned as she looked in that direction until she realised it was a knock. Pushing herself up from the couch, she opened the door and was half relieved and half still worried.

"Sirius!"

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-12 09:40 pm UTC (link)

She tried not to react at the sparks that flashed from the wand, knowing that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She trusted him, even if they had only known each other a short while. And despite the anger he felt she just knew he would not do anything bad to her. She just let him rant, eyes not once leaving him as he paced the entire length of her floor.

Then he was shouting but she barely noticed. Because she could see that flash of pain behind the anger and it just made her move forward in time to grasp at his hands, even if he didn't want her to. Trying to hold him still, she didn't once look away.

"Just calm down for a moment, okay? I don't like you like this, it scares me a little." It was almost a lie. It was scary to see him this angry when she had spent so much time with the teasing and flirtatious side of him. And she hoped that he would stop when he realised she really didn't like this. "You don't have to sit still if you don't want to, just...stop for a minute."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2010-08-12 09:56 pm UTC (link)

She grabbed his hands, making him come to a sudden halt in the middle of the floor. Sirius scowled heavily, but didn't pull away. For a moment, guilt managed to force its way through the waves of mad fury. He didn't mean to push this on Rose, but he couldn't go to Prongs. He'd be with Lily, and this would be hard enough for him. Moony and Dora would be the same. He felt like if he saw them, he'd only be reminded of what Peter had done. Would do. And it was hard enough to keep his promise as it was.

Sirius groaned, tugging his hands from the blonde's and letting his feet carry him to the sofa. He sat down beside his wand, lean body folding into itself as it in pain as he all but doubled over, face hidden in his hands.

"Why won't everyone just... I fucking hate him," he snarled through his fingers. For a moment he thought he was going to be sick, but the thing that burst up his throat was a wave of manic, bitter laughter. "I fucking hate him!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-12 10:10 pm UTC (link)

When he pulled away she simply watched him, itching to go over. But he needed a moment and she would give it to him. Until he started to double over and the worry in her took over. She took a few steps forward, stopping at the words that soon came from his mouth. His tone was not at all pleasant and if she hadn't faced this with whoever thought they could threaten the human race a dozen times she'd be running. But even if she was slightly scared, Rose Tyler rarely ran from anything now.

The laughter made her shiver slightly, the sound going right through her. But then she pushed herself forward, sitting next to him but not touching this time. He made it perfectly clear the past two times he did not want her touch just now and when he wanted it, he could have it.

"I know you do. He was a coward and he sold out your best friend. But he doesn't deserve this kind of reaction from you. He'll have won if you give in to temptation and kill him. Don't you want him to suffer instead? Knowing that he's hated, despised as much as he is because of the cowardly way he acted...God that will kill him. And not in the quick way you had planned."

Okay so maybe she wasn't the best at talking someone down, but she was trying her best. She just had to get him out of the kill mindset first. Biting her lip, she shifted his wand to the coffee table before sitting a little closer.

"I know you're not a killer, Sirius. You're not as heartless as he is."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2010-08-12 10:27 pm UTC (link)

"I could do it." Sirius muttered, his face still hidden in his hands. "You haven't met my fucking family. It's practically written into me." He knew, vaguely, what he must look like. Swearing and screaming threats, falling apart with mad eyes. His own Mother hadn't been much better. Perhaps he was always meant to be like this. Still, at Rose's words, he dragged his hands down his face to look at her, dark eyes staring but slightly saner.

"I don't want him near them," he said, and was ashamed to hear his voice crack. Sirius looked quickly away, watching but not complaining as she moved his wand so it sat temptingly in front of him. It would be so easy now, to grab it, transform and go. He could find him. He was certain of it. If he put the time and the effort in... and then he wouldn't have to worry. They'd be safe then.

"Can I have a drink?" he asked Rose. He didn't care what. Water, tea, a bottle of vodka... Anything would do if it could remove the lump from his throat and put out the fire in his stomach. He reached out, picking up his wand thoughtfully and turning it between dirty fingers. "I promised," he told her, staring down at the sliver of wood, which looked innocent enough as it lay dormant in his hands. "I promised James and Dora I wouldn't do anything to him."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-12 10:41 pm UTC (link)

"But just because your family is like doesn't mean you have to be. Our family doesn't make us what we are."

She didn't drop his gaze when he looked to her, leeping strong to try and keep him more open to talking to her. She nodded when he claimed not wanting him near his friends. It was understandable. If he was the cause of their deaths, any friend would not want him near.

"And he knows what will happen if he does go anywhere near them. A coward he may be, but unless he's begging to be killed he'll stay away."

She nodded again when he asked for a drink, noting the way he was twirling his wand. There was something slightly unnerving about the way he was looking at it and slowly, she pulled it from his grasp.

"And you'll keep that promise. Because you're a good man. Now why don't you go wash up and I'll see what I have in the kitchen for you?" she said, nodding at his fingers as she stood, his wand in her hands. It was strange, that something that just looked like a bit of wood could be so powerful and dangerous in his hands.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2010-08-12 11:01 pm UTC (link)

He nodded silently, stony, dead gaze fixed on the wand still spinning between his fingers. He didn't care what he'd said to anyone. He'd kill Pete if he went anywhere near any of them, and they'd just have to work out a way to fix their bloody timeline afterward. He was so lost in his own dark thoughts he started when Rose took his wand, and frowned in her direction.

"Careful." The single word was forced out around the lump in his throat. But she was a muggle. She couldn't hurt herself with it. Unless she poked her eye out or something... The almost-joke, even though it wasn't spoken aloud, surprised Sirius. He didn't think he could still do that, for some reason...

Sirius turned his hands over, then silently got up to head to the bathroom. He'd been Padfoot, scrabbling around in the dirt around the gutter, snarling at the metal grate and baring his teeth at the spot where he'd lost Wormtail. He suddenly realized that the dirt smeared under his nails would hold the same smell and grimaced, moving a little faster to clean up.

A moment later, he emerged from the bathroom, hands clean, and moved to stare out the window. He could hear Rose moving around in the kitchen. "Sorry," he told her. He felt like he was using that word a lot these days. "I didn't mean for you to get involved in this."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-12 11:08 pm UTC (link)

"Don't worry, I can't do much damage with it," she said with a smile before taking it into the kitchen with her. She wanted to have it near just so he didn't run off and do anything stupid with it. At least if she had it then it could do no harm. Unless she decided to throw it at someone.

She could hear him move and went to her cupboard, pulling out a half open bottle of vodka, pouring a little with some ice in a glass before adding coke to it. Grabbing a bottle of water as well, she set it all out before pouring her own vodka and coke. At least they could have some together. But for some reason she didn't want him getting drunk. Probably because she knew how men could be when drunk.

"You don't have to apologise, I don't mind," she called back through, putting the water between her arm and side and carrying the two glasses through, placing them and then the water on the coffee table. "Are you hungry? I have some food left over from earlier."

She just wanted to keep some normality here, hopefully that would keep him calm.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2010-08-13 12:17 am UTC (link)

Sirius stared out over the city, his mind turning over a thousand places Peter could have run to. He could have found his flat, holed himself up in it. He could still be in the sewers with the other rats. Sirius' eyes narrowed, and his own reflection glared back at him from the darkened window. Behind him, he could hear Rose bustling around, but it sounded far away, he was so trapped in his own thoughts.

He couldn't imagine James dying. He wouldn't let himself, not when the very thought of it brought bile thundering up from his stomach and caused his heart to twist so painfully he almost hoped it would stop. The thought of Azkaban terrified him, although he'd never admit it, and he hated the idea of Remus alone on a full moon, month after month. And Wormtail had done all that. He'd ruined so many lives, and now he had to just... stand here and let him get away with it.

Rose's question ripped him back to earth.

"I'm fine. Thanks." He turned from the window, ducking his head so dark hair fell into his face and hid his expression. "You eat, if you want." He took a step forward, eyes darting around, fingers tapping a disjointed rhythm against his leg. Sirius was always restless, but he was jumpy even for him. The dark haired man nodded to the drinks, his tone forced and lighthearted. "I'd have thought you'd have gone off vodka after the conga fiasco."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-13 11:47 am UTC (link)

"Oh I've already ate. If you're sure, I have plenty there if you want any at any point, just say. Or...just take it."

She didn't care, he was welcome to take what he wanted. She had plenty. She watched him as he still acted restless, knowing it would take him some time to at least gt rid of the need to move. At least he seemed less angry now, that was something. She followed his gaze to the drinks, laughing softly at what he said.

"I try to forget that conga," she said with a smile before walking closer to him. "But I think I can risk more vodka just this once."

She smiled and picked hers up, holding the glass out for him and curling her own close to her chest. "Besides...we were doing shots that time. I am going to pretend that vodka with coke isn't as lethal"

She knew it could be, just depended how fast she drank it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2010-08-13 05:09 pm UTC (link)

The wild, all-consuming anger which had taken Sirius over for the last few hours was dying down now, turning from a raging fire that prickled every nerve and screamed in his head to something different. It seemed to retreat inside him, create a hard, painful ball that settled heavily over his heart like a disease. Sirius breathed deeply, feeling it take root and start to stew.

"It was a beautiful thing." He offered something vaguely close to a smile, although it didn't meet his eyes. He found himself reaching out to take the drink she offered him. "I was proud of that conga." Not that he remembered it very well.

"Cheers." The wizard drained his glass, tasting the sharp vodka missed with the syrup of the coke, willing it to dull whatever he was feeling. He cast around for something to say, which was difficult when every thought he had circled around the one man who had escaped him.

"This place looks different," he finally told her. "Although it may just be because I'm sober..."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-13 09:17 pm UTC (link)

"It was a good conga. Slightly...messy at times, but good."

Well what she remembered of it was good. She hadn't laughed like that in a while, so it was good in that respect. She had had fun all thanks to Sirius and his drunken ideas. Bless him when he's drunk. Holding her glass up with a smile, she copied him in draining the liquid, the vodka not hitting her just as bad as she thought it might do.

She looked around the room when he did before grinning at his comment. Shrugging, she placed the glass down. She might get another later, it really did depend on his mood.

"I'm going with it being because you're sober."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2010-08-13 10:32 pm UTC (link)

Rose followed him in finishing off her drink, showing the ability to keep up with the booze that had impressed him on that first night. Sirius smiled tightly, the expression leaving his eyes dead as he placed his own glass down on the windowsill and turned back to her, dragging his fingers through his hair. There was a moment's silence.

Then Sirius loped over the room, ducking his head until his lips found hers, hands coming to rest tightly on her hips. The human contact was like a shock, sending energy through his system so he once again managed to feel connected to the world around him, and he moved a little closer into her. Sirius wasn't in any doubts when it came to his relationship with Rose. She loved that Doctor bloke, and he didn't want anything like that from her. He just felt like he needed something, anything to distract him from what was happening outside this apartment.

He drew back after a long minute, staring down on her through questioning dark eyes. After all, with how he'd acted this evening, he wouldn't be surprised if she pushed him away.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-13 10:57 pm UTC (link)

Before she knew what was going on she had lips on hers. It took her a few moments to respond but when she did her hands found his arms. Soon the kiss was over and she was looking up at him. She could tell that he was asking if she was okay with this and she gave a little smile. They knew what this was, just looking for something fun with each other, and even if he had acted insane earlier she couldn't resist it.

"Stop staring," she said with a laugh before going on her toes to press her lips against his, hands sliding up his arms before they were in his hair, one of her arms wrapping around his shoulder instead. He was a great kisser, she would give him that, and he made her feel a bit more like a woman than a girl each time she kissed him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pad_foot
2010-08-13 11:15 pm UTC (link)

She laughed, and a small smile tugged at the corners of Sirius' mouth before her lips were crushed against his again and the smirk was effectively wiped away. He vaguely worried about the state of his hair as her fingers twisted through the dark locks, but the thought was gone quickly. Of course, everything that had happened today was still there, swimming at the back of his mind, ready to pounce. That lump of throbbing anger was still settled deep in his chest, but it was easier to ignore it while things were like this.

He kissed her hard, pressing his body close against hers until he could feel the rhythm of her heart against his. One hand wrapped around her waist, tugging her in a little roughly as the other cradled her jaw. After Merlin knew how long, Sirius finally pulled back, one arching eyebrow lifting. His breath was coming a little faster, and he nodded towards the door he knew led to her bedroom. "You don't fancy.. erm...?" He lifted the second eyebrow to join the first.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blaidd_drwg_
2010-08-13 11:34 pm UTC (link)

Her hold on him tightened when she was pulled quickly against him, the kiss suddenly becoming a little more than what it started as. She could already tell in the back of her mind where this was going, memories of past kisses like this almost flooding her. She didn't care, she had fun with him, and he certainly knew how to make the decision worth it. She felt slightly guilty the first time, after all she is in love with another person. But he had made it clear he wasn't interested so why not have some fun with a man who was?

When he finally moved his lips from her, she knew that look. Just like the kiss she had seen that look before. And sure thing he was then nodding toward her bedroom. Smiling, she kissed him once more before stepping back, taking his hands.

"Come on then," she said with a grin before stepping backwards to her bedroom, taking him with her.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -