InsaneJournal

Who: Merlin and Arthur
What: A walk in the wood
When: Shortly after arrival
Where: The woods
Rating: Low
Status: Incomplete



They were trampling through the underbrush of the forest that surrounded the city, as it were, when Arthur stopped beneath a large oak and turned to face Merlin, whose inane chatter was even more inane than usual and Arthur had been on edge since this little trip began. For one, Merlin had said some very untrue, mean-spirited comments, before suggesting they go hunting, yes, Merlin suggested this, and as to the other reason, Merlin had suggested a hunting trip.

If that alone hadn't been enough to confuse even the least observant person, Merlin's chattering would do anyone in.

"Would you shut up."

"I was just saying that I wanted to start a garden..." Merlin grumbled, following along through the forests attempting not to trip over all the tree roots that didn't have the decency to stay in the ground where they belonged. He didn't like hunting, he was wretched at it honestly. Arthur needed something to keep him busy and active though. By the way, Merlin resented the idea that Arthur thought what he'd said was mean spirited. He'd only said that he'd probably have to let out the jacket a little bit. It wasn't his fault that Arthur was used to training every day with his knights, and without them here he'd gotten a little soft. It's not like he'd called him fat, just not as fit as he had been. Hell, even Merlin had gained a little weight, not that it made much difference since he was probably a little too thin prior to coming here.

"Here -- " He fell silent again, holding out Arthur's sword. Merlin was kind of avoiding being to quiet. Arthur usually took that to mean something was wrong, and he supposed -- So there were a few things kind of upsetting the sorcerer, but nothing he needed or wanted to bother Arthur with.

Arthur took the sword and held it low. It wasn't an unusual move, this wasn't an unusual scenario, but Merlin was being unusually docile about the whole thing, almost as if he had this whole trip scripted in his mind.

"Why are you here, Merlin? You hate hunting. You're terrible at it. And it's clear you would rather be anywhere else."

He wasn't even sure what to say to Merlin desiring a garden. Far be it from him to stop Merlin from playing in the dirt and soil when he clearly wanted to.

"Well you enjoy hunting...I just figured you haven't found as many things as I have to keep busy, and especially now that we've switched times again it'll come more in handy..." He shrugged. Merlin just didn't like the killing part of hunting, aside from that he had no problem with it. It was something Arthur enjoyed, would help keep him fit, take care of food, and keep him distracted.

"I bet if you got to know a few people here you'd find others who would hunt with you too, or to train with..." The blond did need to get out more, make a few friends.

"Oh, they uses horses here! None of those cars again. I wonder if I could get a couple horses. Morgana liked riding too, didn't she?" He wasn't changing the subject or anything...

Arthur stared, nodding his head in a thoughtful manner when all he was feeling was an increasing level of frustration that had his hand tensing around the hilt of his sword. All of what Merlin said was true, for the better part, but none of it, not a single word of it directly answered his question.

And here Arthur had begun to imagine Merlin would stop lying to him, and perhaps try and do something other than appease him.

"That was not what I asked."

"What? Yes it was. You asked why I was here. You like hunting, and need something to do. I always come with you, and later you can pay me back by helping me with my garden." Merlin said, smirking a little bit at the idea of getting Arthur to help him build a little fence for his garden and whatnot. Besides, isn't that what friends did? Doing things they don't necessarily enjoy because it makes their friend happy.

"You're here so I will help you with your garden." Arthur rubbed his forehead and spun away from Merlin, slicing his sword in an irritated arc, before turning back around and pointing it at Merlin's chest. He felt helpless and hypocritical, but Merlin was not the emotionally quiet one. He was not the one to shy away from saying what was on his mind, and Arthur wasn't blind. He wasn't an idiot, and despite not seeing Merlin every day for months, he still knew him.

It didn't take Merlin collapsing on the ground crying to know there was something bothering him, and certainly, Arthur could come at this from another way, but that wasn't how he functioned. And Arthur found it easier to behave normally around Merlin, because usually Merlin returned the sodding gesture.

"Will you never willingly tell me what's going on in that funny looking head of yours?"

"You never asked what was going on in my perfectly normal head. You asked why I was stumbling along while you hunt, and it happens that I will need a little fence for my garden that you will be better at building then me." Merlin said, rolling his eyes slightly, and acting just fine if he said so himself. He hadn't done anything even remotely hinting at any kind of upset, at least he didn't think so. So why did Arthur have to be so bloody observant, and insistent on sharing feelings? It wasn't like Arthur had heart to heart chats with him, and Merlin really just wanted to get out of their that the house -- Maybe he just wanted to change things, like the fact that they didn't see much of each other at all.

"I'm asking now."

Arthur set his sword against the tree and folded his arms, feeling his waistcoat draw tight around his chest in an unpleasant fashion. He really hated these things, but what could he do about it? He could wait out Merlin if he had to. Having no obligations meant he could stand there in the middle of an unfamiliar forest for hours without feeling any compulsion to move.

If Merlin believed he was the only one who was allowed to pry out awkward confessions, he was sorely mistaken.

"A lot of things. I'm kind of jealous Gwen got to see you in that wig and I didn't. Starting a garden, obviously, and possibly getting horses. Wondering why you have to be so suspicious when I try to do something you'd enjoy because I haven't really seen much of you..." He wondered if there was also a way to make that last statement less awkward, or maybe it just sounded odd to him. Still, supposed Arthur wouldn't be happy with those answers.

"Things that were important to me disappeared when we came here. My friend Severus disappeared, and I don't know if he'll be okay back where he's from...." And Lancelot vanished, being another missing friend, not to mention they'd never got to -- Whatever. That was a conversation he did not want to have with Arthur, and was fairly sure the feeling would be mutual.

Merlin would, of course, get to the part that was truly upsetting him last. The other things Arthur could work on by himself. They would start a garden, if only because Merlin was being truly ridiculous about it, and Gwen never saw him in that wig, but Arthur wasn't about to disabuse Merlin of that. If he was ever going to put the thing on, Merlin, Gwen and Morgana would all be present, so he would never have to do it again.

"I'm sorry." Arthur found himself a little shocked for meaning it as sincerely as he did. Merlin made friends easily, but Arthur knew how much Merlin cared for Severus, even if Arthur didn't quite get the appeal there.

And then there was Lancelot's disappearance.

Arthur didn't want to ask about it. He wasn't entirely sure he needed to. It became stunningly, and embarrassingly, apparent the moment Merlin mentioned important things and people disappearing. Arthur ran a hand along the back of his neck before levering an arm around Merlin's shoulder and picking up his sword.

Merlin wasn't sure how to react to the not-quite-a-hug. It was a nice gesture, and Arthur obviously cared which meant...a lot more to Merlin then he would admit. Which wasn't exactly a good thing because Lancelot leaving just caused more problems then he was prepared to deal with. He didn't get the chance to figure out what might have been with Lancelot, and he had been the only one that Merlin had told about -- Arthur. Which meant he had no idea what to do about any of it anymore. His shoulders slumped forward slightly.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." Arthur squeezed Merlin's shoulder roughly before releasing him. He twirled his sword and let the tip settled on the dirt. He would no doubt never understand Merlin fully, but he could try.

But then there were times... "Do you really want to start a garden?"

"You know if you ever need to talk..." He didn't expect Arthur to share his feelings, but wanted the other to know he would be willing to listen if he needed it. That this could go both ways, but Merlin wasn't the sort to demand sharing unless it was absolutely necessary. Besides -- he probably had Gwen for that.

He laughed slightly and nodded. "Yes. I really want a garden."

Arthur shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I'll build your fence. Are you going to get upset if it vanishes as well?"

That was a legitimate concern to Arthur at that point. Merlin wasn't handling this change well, which was hilarious, considering how well Arthur had adapted to any of these past few months in general. Merlin falling to pieces wasn't something Arthur had needed to think about before, but it was clear he should have been.

Merlin shook his head and tried to look insulted. He was not falling to pieces. He was just...A little upset. That was natural, right? Arthur didn't even know the half of it anyways, but Merlin wasn't going to say he didn't really want to live with them -- Seeing him and Gwen together constantly probably wasn't going to help because he'd feel guilty just trying to figure out his own feelings when they obviously had no place anywhere.

"No, it's just a fence. I wasn't upset about little things like that." He grumbled. "I was saving Severus' books, and the birthday gifts from you and Conner, and things from Christmas..."

"You don't know we'll never be back in that city." Arthur had no idea how to handle Merlin when he was like this. Of all the unnatural things in this place, seeing Merlin unhappy, constantly, was high on a list of things Arthur could have done without.

One of them had to be happy, or they would both stay miserable. "This won't be the first time strange things have happened here. It's truly hard to forget you once had a beard that dangled past your knees."

"But I can't get those things back. I mean, unless they just reappear when we are sent back." He supposed they were just things, and didn't people always say it was the thought that counts? Regardless. He hated this place, this version of it, and everything that had changed when they got sent here. "Strange things here aren't usually a good thing. "

Merlin wanted to change the subject. Dancing around the subject of things that made him unhappy here was not really going to help because there were things he just wouldn't admit to Arthur. So he turned the conversation around, or tried to. "It's fine. I'll get over it...They're just things, right? How are you? Other then a little unfit. We really should find someone to properly train with you."

Teasing Arthur about his weight was usually an easy way to distract him, and the prince had gotten a little soft since their arrival here.

Merlin really did believe that fooled him. Helpless frustration gnawed at his stomach as he stared at Merlin's hopeful expression and he knew, without saying, that he was going to let everything drop just as Merlin wanted him to. Between Merlin and Guinevere, he was going to end up old and feeble long before he needed to be.