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You already have everything you need. Now fight. ([info]heavenslancer) wrote in [info]colligo_threads,
@ 2009-10-03 22:22:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!closed, #complete, castiel, god

WHO: God and Castiel
WHAT: Forgiveness or retribution
WHEN: The day after Barbas leaves
WHERE: In the park outside the church
RATING: PG
STATUS: Closed




Castiel did not know why he came here. God was everywhere. It was not as it he were more present in one place over another. But, then, it was also possible God was nowhere here.
He had been cut off from Heaven, from God, so coming here was even more pointless.

It had also never been so important. He sat on the bench before the church in the gentle sun and concentrated.
Just because he was here, just because no one picked up, did not change the fact that he still called home every day.
He prayed his daily prayer.

"Heavenly Father," he began. "Please hear my prayer. I know your work is so important it takes you away from Heaven. I understand, Father. I just hope for a word from you so show me I am on the right path. If I am wrong then I do not deserve your forgiveness and I accept my punishment but, if it is so, please do not allow me to continue on a destructive path. Father, please offer me your guidance.
Thank you for your many gifts. I pray that I am using them in your name.

Please watch over Dean Winchester.

Amen"

He folded his hands in his lap and listened to the quiet day. Both fearing and hoping, as he always did, for an answer.


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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-03 04:36 pm UTC (link)
Although God had intended to speak with Castiel when She had gone to visit Aziraphale, She ultimately had decided that this was a conversation best kept private between the two of them. The fewer interlopers - even Her dear Aziraphale - the better. She knew how much Castiel was struggling, after all, and didn't want to divide Her time between him and any other during their initial discussion.

So She instead waited until She knew he was alone. In fact, She waited until She could hear his daily prayer. Her lips quirked a bit as he began and She closed Her eyes. The room in which She had been standing disappeared - or, rather, She disappeared from it - and the park materialized around Her.

Standing behind the bench, with Castiel's back to Her, She considered interrupting the prayer but opted against it. She had no significant reason for that fact. She simply wanted to offer the best response possible, so She waited for the final words that She knew would come, and the 'Amen' that always followed.

Then, with that same private smile still upon Her face, She simply cleared Her throat.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 02:05 am UTC (link)
Castiel did not turn immediately. He could feel Jimmy's heart lurch in his chest, in joy, in terror.
There was really nothing he could do now. There was no running, no hiding and not a single scrap of influence available to him.

All he could do was turn.

He stood up slowly, his back still to his Parent. Then he knelt as he turned, keeping his eyes downcast.

He knelt before God, trying to keep the trembling from his shoulders.
This moment he had been hoping for, had been dreading, simply because while he believed he knew his Father's desires, a little of His plan, he was not sure and he knew the price of rebellion.


It was his fault. He let himself be influenced, he let himself get too close to his charge.

He braced himself, not daring to hope, trying to feel nothing at all as he held Jimmy's breath.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 02:18 am UTC (link)
To anyone who might have observed the scene at a distance, it would certainly seem odd. A fully grown man, kneeling, with his eyes downcast, at the feet of a small scrap of a woman. There were no words being spoken, in fact not a single sound being made, and anyone who might be closely observing would likely notice that even the birds who had been moments earlier chirping merrily in the trees had ceased their song as though they, too, were waiting in anticipation for whatever might follow.

Fortunately, there were no observers around. God had seen to that already simply by the power of Her will. She hadn't wanted any interlopers, after all. It was simply Her and Castiel, in Jimmy's body. And while God knew that Castiel (and Jimmy too, in fact) was quite nervous, She made no effort to immediately soothe him.

Some might consider such an act cruel. To drag out something of this nature certainly seemed to be heartless. However, God knew that to react too quickly would cause the moment to sour a bit. To rush through anything, whether it be pleasurable or otherwise, made it less important when later reflected upon. As this was quickly possibly one of the most important moments in Castiel's existence, She certainly wasn't going to rob him of that.

Still, while She was a patient and loving God, She did want to discuss a few things with him and could hardly do so without making a move of some sort. So finally, after a few seconds had faded into thirty, and had very nearly reached a full minute, She reached out Her hand and placed it upon the top of his head.

My dear, sweet Castiel, Her voice wasn't spoken but instead projected into his very being. She wasn't willing to risk the lives of any of Her precious humans by attempting to speak out loud in such an open setting. You've nothing to fear from Me.

Removing Her hand, She next crouched down until She was level with him and slowly raised his chin until She could see into his eyes. There was a smile upon her face - a truly loving one rather than Her usual private, barely noticeable semi-smirk - and Her voice once more was projected to him.

You have done well. Far better than others would have expected. Her fingers brushed against his cheek as She stood up with a slight hop in Her step. Come, rise. Walk with me. We've much to discuss.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 02:48 am UTC (link)
God did not speak. Castiel kept every fibre of his being stilled for fear of drawing attention to himself. It was a truly irrational reaction but his terror had never been to great, not even in his thirty-ninth year in Hell.

God was not speaking. He must be truly angry. Castiel closed his eyes and waited.
Fifty-eight seconds passed before God moved. He reached out a hand and laid it on Castiel's head. The angel tensed immediately.

Then God spoke, the Voice shifting through his mind like a caress, stroking the fear away. Still the angel didn't move. He was afraid if he did he would shake himself into pieces.

God, his God, knelt before him and lifted his face. He did not deserve such kindness yet he knew God did not make mistakes.

He looked into God's eyes and his own went wide. Not because of the unexpected form his Parent had taken but because of the intensity of the feeling flowing through him. The complete and utter love.

Jimmy felt it too, filtered though Castiel's shields so it did not disintegrate his existence. All he could do was stare in complete and utter awe. He had also been afraid for Castiel, for himself. But this, this was completely different.

God's fingers brushed down Castiel's face.
Castiel felt his eyes sting but he didn't know why. He didn't notice the tear escape and run down his face.

"Yes Father," he said when asked to walk, he would never save said anything else. He stood up in a daze and was hoping Jimmy's legs could hold him up. He hoped his vessels body could contain what he was feeling now. It felt almost more than he himself could withstand.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 03:05 am UTC (link)
Yet God knew Castiel could withstand it and knew Jimmy's legs could keep him upright. She wouldn't have suggested they walk, otherwise, but instead would have sat right down on the grass beside him to talk. Which, truth be told, was sorely tempting in and of itself. However, it was a nice day and She wanted to take in some more of the sights, so this seemed a way to both accomplish that as well as the conversation that needed to take place.

She led Castiel away from the bench and toward a path that marked a way around the church. Her feet made no sound despite the fact that they were walking upon concrete and Her shoes were nothing more than flip-flops. The birds had once again returned to their ruckus and a squirrel darted out in front of them, glancing up at the duo before scurrying away and up a nearby tree. God watched the animal with a light smile, giving Castiel a moment before delving into one of the topics that She knew they needed to talk about.

After a few moments of silence, however, Her voice once against projected toward him. Glancing at him, his height over Her chosen form caused Her to have to look up, one eye squinting to block out the sun that had begun to shine down upon them.

You have begun to care for Dean Winchester, She said simply and without preamble. And have convinced yourself that this has weakened you. That you are somehow rebelling against Me and therefore should be punished.

Her brow furrowed ever so slightly and Her gaze turned back to the path upon which they walked. One of the local clergy stepped from a side door of the church as they drew near, casting a glance at the duo and giving a nod of his head and smile in greeting.

God offered a perky wave back, accompanied with a bright smile. Even as She greeted him in such a fashion, She continued to speak to the angel at her side.

Surely you know the difference, Castiel, between intentional rebellion and that which is accidental? How can I hope to call Myself fair and just if I punish both infractions equally, when clearly one was committed without malice? She looked back to him, then, once more squinting at the sun and craning Her neck to peer up at him.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 03:42 am UTC (link)
They were walking. He noticed nothing that was around him. No birds, no animals, no priest. He was vaguely aware of the colours green and white but his attention was all in one place now.

He had to speak. He had to regain his voice. He shook a breath from Jimmy's knotted lungs.
"Father," he began, his voice scratchy. He tried again. "Father, I did not rebel against you. Never in my heart. I felt, I felt what the other angels were doing was against Your Will. I felt You would be the one to start the End of Days and when I discovered You were absent... Dean said some things. He showed me this world was worth saving. He showed me, Father, they want their pain. He wanted his honest pain over a forced paradise on Earth. I could not, I could not take that away from him.

Father, I do care for Dean Winchester, he is a good man. I wish for him to be happy, to have what he needs to be happy. Please, Father, if I am to be punished I will accept it without question but please spare Dean. He merely told me what he felt to be true. I will not see him, if that is Your wish Father. I will not contact him again."

There, it was out. Castiel braced for his Father's words. All he could do was speak the truth and wait.

"Even though I know it is discouraged I let myself get close to a human," he finished. There was no point denying or hiding anything, his Father already knew all he would say. It only mattered that he chose to say it.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 04:01 am UTC (link)
Of course God knew what was going to be said. And Castiel was right. What mattered was that he'd found it within him to say it. She knew the words might not have come easily to him, but they needed to be spoken, directly, to Her. He needed this, needed Her guidance, needed to know where he stood. He was of no use if he remained conflicted over his own actions and his closeness with Dean Winchester.

Which, the thought of Dean brought a very vague sort of smile to Her lips. He was different. Unique. Both he and his brother, really. Of course, that wasn't what was important right now. No, right now, She needed to ease the worries of the angel at Her side.

So She set out to do just that.

Castiel, Her voice held a tinge of amusement to it, a sing-song aspect of sorts. If it were My desire that the world was to end, it would end. There are none powerful enough to truly usurp My Will when I desire it to be done. Not even the Morningstar is capable of such, for long.

She paused and reached out with one of the small, human hands of the form that She'd chosen. Grasping Castiel's arm lightly, She slid Her hand down until Her fingers touched his own. Peering up at him, She took his hand in Hers.

The other angels were mistaken, She said simply, plainly. Her lips twisted upward and She reached up, cupping his cheek with Her free hand. And were it not for your closeness with Dean, you would have made the same error in judgment they have. Your closeness with him is far from a mistake.

Giving a light squeeze of his hand, She released him and continued down the path with the certainty that he would follow. I do not punish My faithful, Castiel. To forbid you from contacting Dean Winchester would be to do just that.

Once more She peered up at him. Although I do not wish for you to tell him that I am present within this city. She grinned quite suddenly, mischievously. Not until after I've convinced him to play a game of skeeball with Me.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 04:12 am UTC (link)
This, this was far more then he had even dared to hope yet hoped anyway.
His Father, his Father understood.

Castiel, who normally backed away from touch, felt a rare delight at his Father's hand in his, the small fingers on his face.

It was some time before he could speak and even then it was around Jimmy's near-hysterical giggling.

He had been right. His choice had been right and so was God. It was Dean to led him down that path. His own doubts had led him to confide in Dean and Dean's own desires and mistrust had led him to the path his Father always hoped he'd find.

Castiel did something very uncommon then. He smiled. A genuine smile.
He would not be cut off from one of the few beings he could trust. He would not be stripped of his power and cast out of Heaven. He would walk with his Father, hand in hand and stare down with amazement at the little form his Father had chosen.

Then his Father said something else unexpected.
"Skeeball?"

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 04:39 am UTC (link)
If the sound could be made without risking the frail bodies of the humans in the city, God would have laughed at the question. Instead She smiled brightly, eyes sparkling with amusement. It was also present in Her tone when She spoke again.

Yes, skeeball. She smiled up at him, Her tone taking on an almost conspiratorial sound as She confided, Every so often, I slip away from Heaven and visit Earth in order to play. It's a very fun game that most everyone who tries it, enjoys. Including Dean.

She let the topic stop there, secure in the knowledge that Castiel wouldn't tell Dean of Her arrival at Colligo until after the game had taken place. Instead She turned her gaze to a chalk drawing up ahead - a hopscotch board, made by children earlier who had abandoned it after playing their fill.

With no preamble, God promptly hop, skipped, and jumped her way across the board. She landed smoothly with both feet at the end and then peered up at Castiel as She resumed walking.

Aziraphale and I spoke of your encounter with Barbas. There was no judgment in Her tone at the statement, nothing to indicate She was unhappy or even perturbed that Catiel had struggled against the fear demon. If anything, concern was present. Vague, mild - as She knew he was fine now - but present nonetheless.

Do you wish to speak of what you experienced?

It wasn't often that She gave Her angels options to discuss things that piqued Her curiosity. However, Barbas specialized in things that were of a personal nature and, while nothing was truly personal given Her omniscient status, She did do Her best to give the illusion that some secrets were allowed to be kept from Her unless they wished to speak of them.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 06:31 am UTC (link)
"You wish to share a game with Dean?" His voice was mild. This was heartening. It also was not even close to what Castiel had been expecting.
This was not a bad thing, as it turned out.
"Do you plan to reveal your Self to him or do you wish for me to inform him you are here, Father?" Such a mundane question. So normal. So odd.

The the Lord of All Creation hitched His skirt and hopped across a series of chalk squares. Castiel just stared, his face expressionless but for his eyes which were incredulous.

That's GOD?
Yes Jimmy.
The God?
Yes.
Hahahahahaha!!!!

With all his tension released Jimmy was being quite strange.
The his Father spoke of something Castiel wished to forget.
Had anyone else asked he would have dismissed it but this was his Heavenly Father who knew everything and whom Castiel was created to worship and obey.

This fact did not make it easier.

"I am sorry, Father. I hurt my brother. I was under a powerful illusion that I was to die, that I had fallen and I was to be killed by the arch angels. It is not so different to the situation I left but there was something else."

The angel swallowed. He trusted his Father. It was alright to speak of it.
"He made me forget Dean Winchester. My purpose, my mission was gone.
But Anna and Aziraphale and Dean helped me. They were loyal to me Father. I thought you should know that," he said even though he knew Gad already knew he needed to push that aside or he wouldn't speak at all.

"It is over now. The demon is gone but I blamed myself. I did not have the power to stop him Father. I felt it was my job but he got to me before I knew he was here." He dropped his eyes. "I did not let you down, did I Father." He was starting to understand his Father's opinions of his actions now.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 07:10 am UTC (link)
You needn't apologize, Castiel, came God's patience-filled response. It was both touching and heartbreaking to Her, how very much responsibility he placed upon his own shoulders. Unusual, especially, for one as young as he happened to be.

Well, young by Her standards, at any rate.

Barbas was extremely powerful and dealt in intangible fears. She offered him a soft smile. And were it not for your struggles with him, you would have been incapable of assisting another of his victims.

She spoke, of course, of Claire Bennet. The lost young woman who had so thoroughly convinced herself that she was somehow 'less than' simply because evolution had surpassed her own understanding of the word. The girl didn't turn to God nearly enough for guidance as it was. Had it not been for Castiel's conversation with her in the woods that day... truthfully, God didn't wish to dwell on it. Knowing of any undue harm that befell one of Her creations by the actions of a demon was heart-wrenching for Her.

A long moment passed as She allowed Her words to sink in fully. By that point, they had reached the edge of the path and were greeted with the busy going-ons of one of the many interwoven streets of the city. God paused, watching as people passed by, enjoying the sheer chaos of the moment and making sense of it in a way that only the Creator of it All truly could.

I had hoped your time amongst humanity would assist you, Castiel, She spoke at long last, Her gaze still on the street. There was an undertone of mild sorrow there, although it was not aimed at him but rather the situation as a whole. It has, in a manner of speaking, but you still have a great deal to learn from the creatures that inhabit My World.

She gazed up at him then. The smile had returned. My Voice shall be arriving soon. Look for him. Seek him out. The Metatron can be difficult at times, but He has been at My side since the Beginning. Learn from him. With that said, She abruptly reached for his hand again and swung their arms lightly between them as She led him down the street.

But for now, we will continue our discussion. And I shall introduce you to skeeball, so you will understand what Dean speaks of when you tell him of My presence, following My game with him.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 07:29 am UTC (link)
Castiel took in everything God said. He took from it that He was not angry about him hurting Aziraphale. That he understood the demon was stronger and Castiel did not Him down.

But something else his Father said brought him up short.
"You wish me to become more human?" He baulked at the idea when put to him, completely unaware that he was already starting to pick up a little of Dean's language and delivery.

Castiel noticed they had reached the end of the park and he wished to turn back, away from the bustle of the city but God look his hand and led him forwards.

The Metatron. God's own voice. Why would the highest ranking of all angels want to speak with the lowest? But God commanded it and so he would seek him out. "I will speak to him Father, as you wish." He could only presume his Father had fore-warned his oldest Brother he would be approaching him.

Castiel had a question now, and it wasn't about Skeeball. He was afraid to ask in case his Father thought he was accusing but he was not.
He swallowed.
"Father, you do not owe me an answer but I know it is alright to ask. Father, your absence, where did you spend it?"

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 07:43 am UTC (link)
I wish you to learn to empathize with humans more, not become one, God explained patiently. She knew the idea was one that seemed foreign to most angels. It wasn't their fault. She had created them that way. However, just because it was the norm for most angels didn't mean She meant for it to be that way for all of them. She didn't explain that to Castiel, though. Instead She waited for him to ask the question that She knew he would eventually ask.

Once he had, She smiled. I was trapped, She answered simply, seeing no reason not to tell him the truth. He would likely learn of it eventually anyway. It was best he hear it from Her, first.

A fallen muse devised a plan to trap Me in My human form so he could attempt to undo all of Creation. I must admit, were it not for the quick thinking of the Metatron and his decision to contact the Last Scion, Azrael likely would have succeeded.

The entire tale was told with a certain fondness, as though relaying a story filled with pleasant memories rather than the horror of the implications. She saw no reason to remain angered by what had transpired, though. All had been righted at the end. That was what truly mattered.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 09:04 am UTC (link)
Castiel almost laughed a bitter laugh. He was to learn to empathise more with humans? "I was lead to believed that empathising with humans was what was going to lead to my downfall. They assigned Uriel to me to make sure I was not being soft with Dean, not being influenced by him. Now, Father, you say it alright all along? Dearest Father." The last two words were whispered.

He was very concerned at his Father's story. His face was full of deep concern. "Father. I knew you would not just leave us. I knew you were not dead. I owe the Metatron my most sincere thanks. I- I am glad you are here Father. I cannot tell you in these words," and he frowned, struggling with the confines of a foreign language.

He gave up on speaking altogether and simply relaxed, allowing his true voice to speak for him.
It spoke of love and loyalty and gratitude. It spoke of hope and forgiveness and, eventually, home.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 09:27 am UTC (link)
God paused as Castiel's true voice began to speak. She turned to him, smiling lovingly. She knew, of course, he would eventually be allowed to return home. She also knew what She asked of him was no easy task. Angels of higher status than he had failed, many times over in fact, in similar endeavors.

However, God knew that Castiel would succeed. He would prevail because he was not of a higher choir of angels. He did not consider himself worthy and therefore would devote himself entirely to that which he'd been assigned, without complaint. Not without question - which was fine, God expected as much - but even if no immediate answers were forthcoming he would still continue onward.

Rather than speak Herself, She instead merely smiled at him for a long moment. Then She stepped closer to him, close enough that they were very nearly touching. She still didn't speak but opted rather to show Her acknowledgment and, more importantly, reciprocation of his love, through a different means entirely.

She wrapped Her arms around him and hugged him.

For humans, hugs could be wonderfully reassuring things and God was all too aware of that fact. However, obviously, Her hug wasn't quite the same. It was deeper, meant far more. It was a shadow of what it felt like to be in Heaven - safe and loved in the arms of the Almighty. And as She drew away, She rose to her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

Only a select few are strong enough to empathize with humans and remain true to My Will, Castiel. You are among them. Never forget that.

Meeting his gaze, She smiled once more before linking Her arm through his and moving them both down the street toward the skeeball arcade just up ahead.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-04 10:45 am UTC (link)
Castiel had been so tired, so overwhelmed. He had felt it was him and Dean against Heaven and against Hell but, as he folded himself into his Father's embrace he was renewed, refreshed. His heart ached as he felt the touch of his home wash over himself.

He could no longer hold back, even bitter experience, every frustration, every fear came pouring out of him. His weight pressed into his Father as Jimmy's legs shook, the human vessel adding how own tears.

He stayed like that for as long as He allowed it, for as long as he needed.
There were tears but all were dried by a gentle kiss.

Only a select few are strong enough to empathize with humans and remain true to My Will, Castiel. You are among them. Never forget that.

Castiel was stunned at these words. He had never had such faith in himself. He was not special, not chosen. He was merely the one willing to do the dirty, lonely, job of fighting on the side of humanity.

Yet his Father believed in him as He believed in few others.
Castiel just stared at his Father. There was nothing he could say to that. It was not his place to protest, there was just the surprise in his eyes for his Father to read.

He let God take his arm and lead him on. The place they were heading for was colourful and cheap looking. Various machines lined the walls, many with teenagers leaning on them. It was not a place Castiel had ever been too, full of thin noises and loud colours.

The Lord lead him to a low, long table covered in carpet. One end was tilted and punctured with holes. Although most of the machines were occupied this one was free. He wondered for a moment what would happen if he won the game, what was the etiquette for playing games with the Lord of All Creation? He decided to wait and see what his Lord did.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-04 06:00 pm UTC (link)
God's smile seemed to grow even brighter as they reached the skeeball tables. Pulling some change from one of the pockets that lined the front of the shirt She wore, She slid the money into the slot. As the table surged to life, lights flashing and faint music sounding its activation, She bounced a little on the balls of Her feet in pure excitement.

The balls rolled down the ramp, appearing at Her right hand. It's very simple, She stated as She picked up a ball in Her hand and positioned Herself in front of the table. Simply roll the ball up the table. The higher your points, the more tickets you receive.

To show him what She meant, She pulled back Her arm, took aim, and rolled the ball forward. It went up the ramp, hopped over the small bump that divided the carpeted area from the holes, and promptly dropped directly into one of the holes with 100 written beneath it.

"Awesome!"

Obviously, the exclamation didn't come from God, but rather the teenager to Her left. She flashed him a smile and he smiled right back before returning to his own game. She, in turn, plucked out another ball and held it out for Castiel to take.

See? Simplistic and, more importantly, fun. Try it.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-05 09:11 am UTC (link)
Castiel watched God roll the ball down the carpeted runway and into one of the holes. From the reaction of the teenager Castiel gathered this was a desirable result.

There were other holes marked with different numbers. Castiel, the angel, was a superb fighter, had superior co-ordination, was quick and agile but as he started at the ball in his hand he felt completely out of his depth.

But his Father had requested he play and Castiel was one of his Father's most loyal angels.

The moved to the end of the runway, leaned from the waist as he had seen the Lord do and swung his arm forward. Castiel had been in this vessel for some time and Jimmy had been a very good match for him but he still found it a little difficult to control this body's finer movements.

The ball rolled up the table, hopped over the lip and over the cuff to drop into the hole worth 200 points.
Castiel straightened up. He looked aver at his Father, a little startled, a little nervous. He swallowed.

"Is this the end of the game Father?" he asked nervously. He hoped not. He hoped his Father had a chance at rebuttal.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-05 10:09 am UTC (link)
Typically, in most versions of the game, the highest someone could score was 100 on an individual hole. God had chosen this particular arcade, however, because it offered games that allowed points up to 250. Granted it was all but unheard of for anyone to reach the 100, 200, or coveted 250 point holes. But She and Castiel weren't just anyone. She was the Almighty and he was an angel and, as such, they both had a rather large advantage over the humans who normally played.

No one in the crow knew that, though, so by the time God had plucked up another ball out of the holding area and explained patiently, Not at all. You receive nine balls in total, typically. As this one offers eight and this is your first time, we'll alternate. They had a small group of people who were beginning to gather and take notice. She flashed him a dazzling sort of smile and paid the crowd very little mind.

It isn't a challenge, Castiel. There is no clear winner or loser. It's meant to be fun.

Then She released the ball She held and watched as it promptly dropped into the hole worth 250 points.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-05 10:27 am UTC (link)
Castiel did not smile, not yet. He was unsure of this human version of seeking fun. He wasn't one who sought out fun of any sort but this was different. His Father was sharing with him something that was astonishingly personal. Perhaps only the Metatron had seen God play like this. Perhaps not even him.

Castiel knew his Father wanted him to relax and enjoy this. Just that reality made him tense but he wanted so very much to please his Father, make him proud.

He was steady and almost mechanical in his movements. Precise. Fortunately this was just the approach needed for this game.

Castiel released the second ball. It bounced up and into the same hole as the first. He stepped back. On his face was the tiniest of smiles.

The crowd gave and impresses clap and he dropped his eyes, embarrassed, and stepped back to allow his Father to take his next shot.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-05 11:16 am UTC (link)
God's smile remained in place as Castiel took his shot. She had known that this would be something he would excel at. The way he moved, as though still almost uncomfortable in Jimmy's body even after the time he'd spent in it, made for the right amount of control necessary to make the ball fall into the higher, smaller holes.

She paid little mind to the crowd, or applause. She was accustomed to it and, while She knew it made Castiel somewhat uncomfortable, She also knew that mild embarrassment was often a good thing. There was nothing wrong with pride, after all, provided it wasn't in excess. Just as being humble was also good - in small doses. Castiel, She felt, needed to find a common balance between the two.

In 1932, She confided in him as She picked up her next ball, the first skeeball tournament was held in Atlantic City, New Jersey. She drew Her arm back and took aim, gaze focused on the game in front of Her.

I won second place. The man who won first place, R.K. Strong, used his prize to pay off medical bills for his young son. I donated Mine to the very same hospital where his son would later be cured. Releasing the ball, it rolled up the ramp and dropped into the 100 point hole.

Castiel was now winning, by fifty points, and a hush fell over the crowd as it once again became his turn. God glanced at him, Her smile a benign one. The Metatron never could understand why I didn't just heal the boy and donate My winnings to a charity focused on My work, She finished with faint amusement. He gave Me that disapproving stare of his for nearly a decade.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-05 11:36 am UTC (link)
Castiel tried to filter out the silence from the crowd. It was much harder than filtering out the noise.

He paused before taking his shot to listen to his Father's story. He listened carefully, mulled it over for a while.

Father, it is not for me to judge you actions, not in the slightest but I feel your solution, though harder to understand, is the most... pleasing.

He thought of Dean, his pride, the way he wanted to do things for himself when it was just easier to let Castiel do them.
He didn't really understand what the world was like in 1932, how scarce money was, now troubled people were about the mere mechanics of living but he knew a little of the nature of man.

"Your way the father was able to help his child. It was his achievement. Humans, they don't always like to be given everything, even if it is easier."

Castiel lowered his eyes and offered another tiny smile.
He returned to the table a little distracted and rolled a 100. He stepped back, neither disappointed nor exited and waited too see what his Father would do next.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-05 11:50 am UTC (link)
Precisely, She replied, pleasure lacing the single word. It was a difficult concept for most of Her angels to grasp - the desire for humanity to do things on their own. Although She clearly did not make mistakes, if there had ever been an... error of judgment on Her part, it had been in not creating angels to truly understand the sense of accomplishment that one could achieve by doing things without assistance. Especially when those things were difficult, if not seemingly impossible. It made the victory all that much sweeter, for humans.

With angels, instead, there was simply the call of duty. The understanding that they were to please their Father, to do the Lord's bidding, and pleasure would be found by following this simplistic plan. Free will, although certainly not lacking in angels (Loki, Bartleby, and the numerous ones who had Fallen from Grace proved that fact), was not nearly as important to most of them as it was to humanity as a whole.

Plucking up Her last ball, She glanced over Her shoulder as two voices from the assembled crowd caught Her attention. It was a small boy and girl, brother and sister, who were steadily arguing over who would be the victor. Clearly the girl thought She would, as She was female, and the boy thought the opposite as Castiel was male. Neither was being overly rude to the other and, rather than find the scene off-putting or displeasing even if the children weren't following the 'acceptable behavior' of ones their age in a social situation, God instead smiled and tossed the girl a wink before turning back to the game at hand.

The ball was released, rolled smoothly up the ramp, and the crowd seemed to grow hushed as it bounced a bit before landing in the hole worth 200 points.

She was now in the lead, with Castiel trailing by 150 points. Should he score 100 or lower, She would win. Should he score 200 or 250, he would. She smiled, already knowing how both outcomes would turn out but curious to see which route he would choose to take: try his best and likely defeat his Lord at Her own game, or focus, aim, and win.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-05 12:05 pm UTC (link)
Castiel shivered a little in bliss. He had understood and his Father was proud.

He tried again to block out the crowd. It had grown quite large and some of them were talking quietly amongst themselves.

He could not throw the game. His Father would know and it would be a show of distrust that his Father could be gracious in defeat. After all, He had been gracious in his previous defeat those years ago.

But he was not a needy human. He was one of God's angels and nothing in his experience or instruction prepared him for this.

He had to do his best. Anything less would be an insult to his creator.
It had to be an honest game. It was clear his Father was not using his influence to achieve the perfect score. Castiel knew he wanted any victory to be true victory.
Castiel sensed another lesson on humanity. He welcomed it.

He had to try.
He lined up his shot, tried to relax Jimmy's shoulders. His hand swung forward as he tried not to try too hard.

The ball rolled swift and straight. It bounced off the lip of the backboard and hopped up into the little hole.

200 points.

Castiel just stared at the place where the ball disappeared, too stunned to move.

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-05 12:20 pm UTC (link)
For a moment, the crowd seemed to fall entirely silent as though waiting on a response from the small woman who had just been defeated. The winner was decided. The grace of the loser, however, had yet to be determined and could easily spoil the occasion. None of the humans gathered had any clue just how spoiled the occasion could become, either.

Of course, it never happened. God wasn't angered, far from it. Castiel had done his best and had won fairly. He had been given the opportunity to cheat - to attempt to sway the game so She would win - and had instead faced his uncertainty and put forth the effort to win.

The smile that filled Her face spoke of Her pleasure at his decision. As did the rest of Her reaction.

She clapped.

The crowd all but erupted in applause as well, the sound rather loud even in the open area. They likely would have rushed forth to congratulate the victor personally, but God used Her Will to keep them at bay. The thought of approaching Castiel simply didn't enter their minds, even in their pleasure. Part of this decision was made because of Castiel's obvious discomfort at the attention and part of it was made for a less than gracious reason.

Plain and simply put, God didn't want to share Her angel with the others. This moment was his but it had been far more than an impressive game of skeeball. She knew it, She was certain he realized as much as well, but the rest of the crowd didn't.

Bending over, She plucked the tickets from the machine. There were quite a few - more than enough to get most any prize offered at the nearby ticket booth. Well done, Castiel, She said simply, with a brilliant smile and held them out for him to take. What he did with them was his decision. Not necessarily a test as the rest of the game had been but simply following in the tradition of 'to the victor go the spoils'.

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[info]heavenslancer
2009-10-06 03:41 am UTC (link)
Castiel had been rather more tense than the crowd when waiting to see how his opponent took losing. He knew, in his heart, that his Lord was gracious and forgiving. He did not why he was afraid, only that he was.

On balance, it is probably not a bad thing to be a little cautious of a being who can make your head explode with It's voice no matter how placid it seemed at the moment.

But, on this occasion, Castiel worries were all for nothing.

He did not smile at the praise, it was his grace that beamed for only his Father to see. He had made the right choice. I fair game.
He reached out his hand and took the strip of paper she offered.
He did not know what to do with them.

As he turned to the crowd he noted some of the children were looking at the paper longingly. Not really knowing what else to do and not wanting to throw the gift away he passed it to the nearest child, a blonde girl of about twelve. "Thank you!" she squeaked happily and turned to show her friends her good fortune.

Then he turned back to this Heavenly Father.
"Thank you," he said softly, lowering his head "for sharing that with me."

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[info]skeeballfanatic
2009-10-06 04:20 am UTC (link)
You're welcome, came God's simple response. The crowd had begun to disperse by that point, the girl whom Castiel had given the tickets scampering off with her friends in tow to reap the rewards of her good fortune. God listened as the child announced the things she intended to get with the tickets, even grudgingly admitting she would get something for her 'stupid little brother' so he'd leave her stuff alone.

Children. There really wasn't anything quite like them. As precocious as they were precious, they lacked the social filter that adults possessed. It was endearing and no child ever failed to bring a smile to the Lord's face when She encountered them in this form.

Come, She added, once more grasping Castiel's hand gently in Her own. We've still some time before I'm to attend to other things. Let us walk.

And with a final smile at the skeeball machine that had served as a source of entertainment as well as a lesson, God led Castiel away from the arcade and back down the street.

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