InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "..What are you doing, Dave?"

Gabriel "Sylar" Gray (inaworldsocold) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2009-09-19 20:40:00

Entry tags:

!@event, !open, elle bishop, gabriel 'sylar' gray

WHO: Gabriel "Sylar" Gray (OPEN to Tags)
WHAT: Worse fears realized
WHERE: His & Elle's Apartment
WHEN: September 19th; Late Evening
RATING: PG-13
STATUS: Complete as Narrative; Open to Tags

Do you even know who you are anymore?

The voice stirred Sylar from a sound sleep, his gaze shifting out in front of him as he tried to take in the surroundings of the room. Elle slept soundly next to him, and there was no one else as far as he could see. It had just been a dream, a nightmare, and for someone that had done and seen as much as Sylar had, those were commonplace. Shifting slowly in the bed, Sylar leaned over the woman sleeping next to him, kissing Elle's cheek as he placed an affectionate hand on her stomach. The slick of something against his hand made him wrench it backwards, staring through the darkness at the inky black that coated his hand. Even if the lack of light made the images look off, the tinge in the back of his throat made it all too clear what was all over his hand.

Blood. There was no denying the smell and aromatic taste of that coppery substance that he'd come to know so well.

"Elle," Sylar said in a harsh whisper, grasping her shoulders and giving a little shake. "Elle, wake up. Something wrong with the ba--" His voice was cut off, however, as Elle's head lulled to the side, her bangs falling away to reveal a deep gash across the length of her forehead. A scream was strangled in his throat as he scrambled back off of the bed and away from Elle's body. Her body.

Look in the mirror, Gabriel. Do you even know who you are anymore?

The voice whispered again as Sylar swung his gaze around until it fell on the mirror just over the dresser in the bedroom. The reflection staring back at him was wide-eyed, shaved head, the desperate and uncaring reflection of himself when his ability was still in control, when he was positive that Gabriel was dead, gone, and no more. When he was only Sylar and truly embraced everything that came with that. Do you really think that you can ever be happy? That you can have a normal life like everyone else? Because you can't. Have many lives have you destroyed, Gabriel? How many people are dead at your hands?

"I'm not like that anymore," Sylar choked out in a whisper, turning and staring back at the bloody mess that was supposed to be Elle on the bed. "I'm not. I couldn't have..."

But you did, Gabriel, Sylar's gaze shifted again, jerking around to where a ghostly figure, Elle in the outfit that she'd had on at the beach covered in blood from head to toe, stalked towards him. You killed me once, and you killed me again because you can't allow yourself to be happy. You have to get rid of everything good in your life because you believe that you don't deserve us. You know it as well as I do. And you also know I'm not the only one that you had to get rid of this time.

Not the only one? Oh, god. Noah. Noah, and... But Peter and Claire couldn't... not unless... His stomach turned, mind whirling as he turned away from the mirror only to trip over a gun laying in the middle of the floor. Where had that come from? Why would either of them need... As he reached down to pick it up, a torrent of memories flooded over him. Noah, pinned down, electrocuted, throat slashed. Peter & Claire both done the same way, pinned to the spot and flipped over and shot in the back of the head several times 'just in case.' Hands trembling, Sylar dropped the gun, his stomach churning as he dry heaved in disgust, crumbling to his knees. All of them. All of them gone. Because of him. Because of what he was.

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messedupasiam
2009-09-20 01:46 am UTC (link)

Elle woke up for the second time in as many nights. Gabriel wasn't in bed next to her, and she could hear the sound of someone retching. She was immediately worried, because typically if someone was out of bed and throwing up it was her. And she had an excuse. She got up out of the bed and stared at the sight of Gabriel, usually so strong and controlled, curled up on the floor, a gun beside him, a complete mess. God. Not that. Anything but that. Peter and Claire might have failed, but she knew that if Gabriel wanted to die, he would find a way. She picked up the gun carefully, disassembling it to be safe, and sat down next to her lover.

"Gabriel," she said softly. "What is it, honey?" She wrapped an arm around her and turned his face to look at her. "Talk to me. What's wrong?" She didn't know what she would do if she couldn't break him out of this state. She was worried he might hurt himself, and she couldn't let that happen. Not if she could help it. "Talk to me, Gabe. What are you seeing? Whatever it is, it's not real. It's all in your head. Remember...what happened to the others...that's all this is. Just a hallucination. Everything is all right, I promise."

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inaworldsocold
2009-09-20 02:02 am UTC (link)

Gabriel. Gabriel. He heard his name, vaguely, through the agony that he was trying to push out of his mind. Turning his eyes slowly towards the sound, Gabriel blinked through the fog to see someone standing over him. What's wrong? What was wrong? The voice morphed, shifted until he finally recognized it, the air, dulcet tones of his mother lilting over the arm as he felt a hand reach out to comfort him.

What's wrong, dear? Are they all gone? Just like me? Did you kill them all, too?

"No... No, I..." Sylar stammered, tears welling up in his eyes.

You what? It was an accident? You know you don't have accidents. You're evil, heartless. You kill people on purpose with the want and desire to see them dead. Are you having an attack of conscious? Are you finally starting to care, or are you just afraid that you're going to get caught again?

"I didn't..."

All of this is your doing. I should have left you at that diner to die. If I had had any idea that you were going to turn out like that monster of a father of yours, I would have. You're no better than him, and you're going to end up alone just the same.

Gabriel tightened in on himself, a sob catching in himself throat as he jerked back as though the hand touching him was burning his skin. "You lie! YOU LIE! I'm nothing like him! I'm NOTHING..." Sylar was lashing out before he even knew it, throwing out his telekinesis to toss the figment of his mother away. "I'M NOTHING LIKE HIM!"

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sonofsylar
2009-09-20 08:56 am UTC (link)

If Noah had claimed he was sleeping, it would have been a lie. He had tried, and woken up from a nightmare with a muffled scream in his throat from the images that still flashed within his mind every time he closed his eyes. Needless to say, after the failed attempt he hadn't bothered trying again. Instead he'd just grabbed the book that he'd had the foresight to pack when he'd hastily shoved a few of his belongings into a bag in order to crash in his parents' apartment, and begun to read. He was nearly finished with the book and idly wondering what other books he might find laying around the apartment to occupy the rest of the night when he heard noises coming from the bedroom beside his.

Immediately he tensed, then forced himself to relax. Just because his parents - or at least one of them - were awake in the middle of the night didn't mean anything bad was going on. They could need to go to the bathroom, or be thirsty, or a number of other things. Granted he didn't believe any of that for one second and the churning in his gut was proof of that much, but he pointedly returned his attention to his book and did his best to drown out the muffled sounds coming through the wall.

Then came a scream - YOU LIE - followed quickly by an even louder one - I'M NOTHING LIKE HIM. By that point, the teenager was already halfway out of his bedroom. He told himself as he approached the other bedroom door to knock on the off chance the shouts had been due to a nightmare, but apparently his body refused to listen to his mind and he twisted open the door and stepped inside without so much as a warning that he was there.

As it turned out his gut was right, as per the usual. He entered the room just in time to see Sylar strike out with his telekinesis, using a move that Noah had only ever seen his father from back home use on enemies who had gotten too close for comfort during an altercation.

Without thinking, eyes narrowing in barely restrained rage as he realized the target was Elle, Noah immediately negated the telekinesis. He then raised the gun he held - complete with a silencer. He didn't so much as blink as he aimed it directly at the man on the floor, and shot him twice in the shoulder to hopefully get his attention away from Elle and focused elsewhere.

And just in case that didn't work, Noah then demanded in an icy, hard tone, "Leave her the hell alone or I swear to God, you won't be able to heal from the next bullet I put in you."

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inaworldsocold
2009-09-20 09:56 am UTC (link)

Gabriel barely registered the new presence before the bullets collided with his shoulder, sending him doubling backwards, his back slamming hard against the floorboards as his gaze turned up to the person standing over him with the gun, his breathing quickening as the figure shifted in the darkness and the words ran in his head in Bennet's voice.

You won't be able to heal from the next bullet I put in you. You took that ability from my Claire. It isn't yours to use; none of them are. And I'm going to make sure you lose them just like you lost all of the others. Then their true owners can finally get some peace. You've already lose one, Gabriel. It's just a matter of time before you lose the rest.

Each word stung, hitting a sore place in his heart as Gabriel scrambled backwards, fear blanketing his face for a moment as the bullets clinked out of his shoulder and hit the ground. Fear seeped through all of his pores until finally, his mind had had enough. Weak. Pathetic. Afraid. The coward had tried to deal with this situation, and he'd failed.

His visage hardened in a split second. All emotions other than a sheer defensive rage were suppressed, pushed aside for the moment as Sylar shoved himself to his feet. The telekinesis wasn't at his disposal anymore. Just like Bennet had promised. One ability down. But that didn't matter. He had plenty more.

"What's the matter, Noah? Not willing to play on my terms?" Sylar growled, raising a hand and flicking at the air, watching as the gun in the man's hand dissolved into thousands upon thousands of fragmented metal shards, littering the floor at his feet. "Not such a big man without a gun, are you?"

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messedupasiam
2009-09-20 07:56 pm UTC (link)

Elle wasn't hurt. The telekinesis hadn't been very strong. Just enough to push her back. She stared, wide-eyed, as Noah came in and shot his father, not sure at all what to say. "Stop it, Noah," she said, starting to freak out with everything that was going on. "He doesn't know what he's doing."

She stood up and grabbed Gabriel's arm, holding onto it. "Gabriel, it's me. It's Elle," she said. "Please, stop this. Whatever you think is happening...it's all in your head. It's not real." She looked up at him and this time she didn't flinch, didn't hesitate. "Please, Gabriel. I need you to be okay. I love you. You're just hallucinating the other stuff. Use your ability...you know I'm telling the truth." She knew what she was about to do was a risky move, but she trusted Gabriel more than anything. Grabbing his hand, she placed it low on her stomach, holding her own hand against his. "Feel that?" she asked, desperately hoping she could pull him out of this. It was just getting to the point where you could feel the baby kick. "That's our baby. Come on, Gabriel. Come back to me."

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inaworldsocold
2009-09-21 01:36 am UTC (link)

Someone had grabbed his arm. Someone had grabbed his arm, and they weren't letting go. His first instincts were to lash out, hit whatever or whoever it was as hard as he possibly could to get them to give it up, but without his telekinesis to back that action up, there really was no point. Gabriel Gray hit like a girl. So instead, his gaze shifted, boring into the individual that was standing next to him. A flicker of regret shifted into his eyes as he realized that it was Elle that was standing next to him. Elle that had stumbled her way out of their bed, blood and all, and was forcing his hand against her belly.

Feel that? That's our baby. Or it was before you killed her. You killed us both, Gabriel. Noah's right. With those abilities, you're nothing but a monster. You don't deserve them anymore than you deserve us. Why don't you just die? Everyone would be better off.

The Sylar persona cracked. Dealing with Bennet was one thing. He could rationalize that. He could wish away any regrets or reservations that he might have to kill that bastard, but to have his demons, his ghosts, haunting him, telling him what he deserved. His hand jerked back again, a slightly strangled sob coming from his mouth as he stared at the hand that had been on her stomach, flexing and rubbing his fingers together in the blood that had come away before collapsing to his knees and looking up at Noah.

"Kill me, Bennet. I know you've wanted to for a long time so I'm giving you want you most desire," He said, ducking his head, the skin around his neck rippling slowly. "The spot's back in the back of my head," He said, bowing forward. "Just kill me. Then you'll all be better off."

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sonofsylar
2009-09-21 02:20 am UTC (link)

Noah had been told for years not to trust his mother's judgment when it came to Sylar. She herself had told him that she would defend him, be just as loyal to him as she was to Gabriel, and that Noah wasn't to take her opinion into consideration when dealing with the monster that wore his father's face. And, had this been any other situation, that advice would have been spot-on and taken to heart. However, there were several factors in this scenario and, fortunately, Noah was able to sort through them in his mind no matter how upset and tense he might be.

First was the fact that he knew from personal experience just how real the hallucinations could seem. He knew how all-encompassing that fear and grief could be. He also knew that this version of Sylar was not the monster that he'd been raised hearing about, and that the man clearly was caught up in remorse and wasn't on some bloody rampage of his own doing.

Granted, none of these thoughts stopped the teenager from grabbing the gun that his mother, although unbeknown to him, had disassembled earlier. Nor did they stop him from putting the gun back together with a practiced hand as he eyed the situation unraveling with a wary expression. The understanding that this wasn't a typical situation did keep him from taking aim the second he had a clear shot, though.

And the fact that Sylar had called him Bennet certainly helped in that regard as well.

So rather than take the shot being offered to him, he instead lowered the gun and gave a shake of his head. "No," he said in a soft, flat tone. "I'm not going to kill you." Taking a step forward, then another, and another, until finally he was alongside his mother, he added, "I'm not Bennet, either. I'm Noah. Your son... and I'm not afraid anymore."

Peering around the room, at whatever entity that was still out of sight yet he knew had to be floating around, he continued with a voice that was hardened like steel. "I don't know who you are or why you're doing this, but I'm not going to let you use him like this. If I have to negate every ability he has, I will, but he's not going to hurt us."

After a brief pause, Noah tossed out in a downright dangerous tone, "And if I have to get Emma in here to kick your ass, well, I'll do that too."

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messedupasiam
2009-09-21 04:22 am UTC (link)

Elle stood beside her son, letting his calm and strength give her something to focus on. Unlike Noah, she couldn't say that she wasn't scared and upset. The possibility of losing Gabriel terrified her, and her hormones definitely weren't helping anything. But she managed to keep a calm face, in spite of everything. Even though the situation was serious, she found it adorable that Noah was threatening whatever was doing this with Emma. She knew her son, and she knew he thought very highly of the young woman in question.

"You're a good man, Gabriel," she said with conviction. "Please, don't do this to yourself." She looked up at the ceiling and any fear she felt gave way to anger. She didn't feel any fear just then, because she was too busy being angry. "Stop this, you sick fuck," she snapped, directed at whoever or whatever was doing this. "Just stop it and leave Gabriel alone. He doesn't deserve this!" She wanted to reach out to Gabriel, but didn't want to upset him further. She just wanted her Gabriel back.

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inaworldsocold
2009-09-21 11:28 pm UTC (link)

Voices all ran together, his mind was a blur until finally, a fog lifted from his mind and left him blinked as the terror slowly seeped out of his system, his breathing evening out as he looked up and stared at the two people that were standing in front of him. Noah. His son, not Bennet as he'd thought, and Elle, alive, well, and looking...mighty pissed off.

"What happened?" Gabriel asked, his voice croaking as he pushed himself to his feet, trembling all over as he looked down at his hands. Clean. There was no blood. Had there ever been any blood? Looking back up at Elle, he stepped forward, reaching out and brushing back her hair, running his thumb lightly across her forehead before allowing his hands to move down, gently cradling her swollen belly before a soft sob passed his lips, and he pulled her into an embrace, hugging her against his chest with a quiet desperation in his actions.

"I thought I'd lost you," He whispered, tears pushing their way down past his shut eyelids, flowing down his cheeks as he held her, rocking back and forth. "I lost I'd.... I... I thought I had killed you again," He said, turning his head to press a kiss against her temple. "Killed you both."

Killed all three of them because he'd thought he'd murdered Noah in cold blood, too. Raising his gaze to his older son, he reached out, ignoring the gun that Noah held, and pulled him into the hug, too. He didn't care if Noah was awkward around him, if there was still an instability in their relationship that they hadn't quite found an even footing for since he'd gone from being four to be four times that age. Noah was still his son in all manner of the word, and Gabriel still loved him all the same.

"I thought I'd killed everyone."

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sonofsylar
2009-09-24 10:40 am UTC (link)

Noah could sense the moment that the entire mood shifted. The minute that his father - for this man was his father just as much as this younger version of Elle was his mother - returned to them and stopped existing within the fantasy that had been created from the deep-seeded fears within his own mind. He relaxed, ever so slightly, when Gabriel began to speak. By the time he was unexpectedly being pulled into a hug, he had already slid the gun into the waistband of the pants he wore so that the cool metal was pressed against the small of his back and not being gripped tightly in his hand.

It wasn't until his arms were around his father to return the hug, though, that he released his hold over the man's telekinesis. Not because he didn't trust him to have it back however. Simply because he had steadily continued to negate the ability, without realizing it, right up until his attention focused entirely somewhere else.

Struck speechless, from a heady mixture of the situation as a whole, Gabriel's reaction, and Noah's own realization that this man was far more like the father he knew back home than the version he'd been raised not to trust, Noah simply returned the hug without much clue what he could say to add to the situation. Although, after a moment, common sense made him think about something that he couldn't have kept to himself even if he'd wanted to do so.

"It didn't just make you think you'd done things, it made you think I was someone I'm not even close to being." That seemed important to him, somehow.

With his own fears, he'd simply assumed that his mother and Emma were ghosts coming to torment him for not helping them. This time, though, was different. This time, not only had the hallucination for his father seemed real, but it had shifted to take both him and his mother into consideration rather than simply trying to blot them out as had happened in his situation.

"Whatever is doing this is upping its game." He made the statement with absolute certainty. The only thing he wasn't certain of was why.

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