InsaneJournal

[Elle]
I didn't tell your mother what I could do until after you were born. I barely had a few weeks with you before she took you to her mother's and filed for divorce. After that, she insisted that the only contact that we would have would be through letters. I didn't fight because I knew that if I did, she would bring it all out into the light, and it would end in either I or her being committed.

By the time that your ability manifested, I didn't have any idea what I was doing. I had never been very good with children, and I had never had the opportunity to change that. So when your mother insisted that it was now my turn to take a role in parenting, I was at a loss. And the last thing I expected was for her to just disappear. Yes. Yes, I know I said she died, but how do you tell an eight year old that her mother has abandoned her? You were having a hard enough time adjusting to everything as it was, and I didn't want you to have that knowledge on top of everything else. At least having her die provided closure, a simpler reasoning that wouldn't provoke the sort of guilt that...that I didn't want you experiencing.

I screwed up listening to Zimmerman, Elle. I know that now, but I didn't have any idea what else to do. I didn't realize how those tests would hurt you, and it killed me to see you so upset. I wish I had known how to make it better, but my first attempt... You wouldn't remember that, anyway. There's a lot of things that you wouldn't remember. I tried to fix most of it the only way I knew how. But that was probably wrong, too.