InsaneJournal

Jasper, Alice, before you say anything, I had nothing to do with the chipmunks currently doing our laundry. I just walked in, and there they were, folding to their tiny little hearts content.

Also, our coffee pot is cranky.

So while the cuddly forest animals are cleaning my apartment, I'll just do this. Everyone else already has. And I'm bored.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open. But I don't sleep.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Rose does. She'll never admit to it, though.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
I don't sleep.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Maybe.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
No.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
No. I don't need most of the things that coupons offer discounts on.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Bear, because they taste good.

8. Do you have freckles?
I did when I was a kid.

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
Not always.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Rose does this thing whenever she's annoyed with me, and just expects me to know what the heck I did wrong.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Why the hell would I do that?

12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
Don't really need to go to the bathroom.

13. What about pooped in the woods?
See above.

14. Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
Not often.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No.

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
No one. I don't think my wife would appreciate that.

17. What size is your bed?
Big enough for Rose too, should she ever actually get here. I don't exactly use it that much, anyway.

18. What is your song of the week?
"I'm Sexy and I Know It", by LMAFO. It's catchy. Also true. About me, that is.

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Yes. There is such thing as a manly pink shirt.

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
Hell yeah!

21. What's your least favorite movie?
Gone With The Wind. It's so boring. Not to mention long.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
It wouldn't stay hidden very long. I have a sister who can see the future, and a brother who reads minds. And yes, Alice, Edward, I am implying that you might possibly steal my treasure.

23. What do you drink with dinner?
Blood.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don't eat chicken nuggets.

25. What is your favorite food?
Blood. Preferably grizzly.

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Die Hard. Indiana Jones. Anything with Bruce Lee. Horror/monster movies, because they're hilarious.

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Rose.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Didn't have that when I was a kid.

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
No. Rose would kill the photographer, then me.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I wrote Jasper a note this morning.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
Yup.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope.

33. Ran out of gas?
No. I know better.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
I don't eat sandwiches.

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Blood.

36. What is your usual bedtime?
I don't sleep.

37. Are you lazy?
When I feel like it.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I didn't dress up when I was a kid. I was a Roman gladiator a couple of years ago, though.

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Don't know, don't really care.

40. How many languages can you speak?
A few. English, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, French, and all the swears in Russian. When you're undead, you have the time on your hands to learn these things.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Nope.

42. Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Dude. Legos. No question.

43. Are you stubborn?
I've been told.

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Craig Ferguson.

45. Ever watch soap operas?
Only when my wife forces me.

46. Afraid of heights?
Not really.

47. Sing in the car?
Hell yeah!

48. Dance in the shower?
You know it.

49. Dance in the car?
Yup.

50. Ever used a gun?
Yes.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Edward and Bella's wedding, back home.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Yes.

53. Is Christmas stressful?
It can be. I just let Rose do all the shopping. I'm not allowed after I punched that one guy out a few years ago.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
Nope.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Don't eat fruit pie.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Soldier. Or a hunter. Something badass.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yup.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
Well, blood does have vitamins in it, I guess.

60. Wear slippers?
Nope.

61. Wear a bath robe?
Nope.

62. What do you wear to bed?
I don't sleep. Unless I'm with Rose, and we don't sleep, and then I'm normally just naked.

63. First concert?
Led Zeppelin with Rose.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Wal-Mart. Some of the people that go there are hilarious.

65. Nike or Adidas?
Nike.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
I don't eat.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Didn't we cover this enough? Vampire. I drink blood. Like Dracula, only not as creepy, and I don't have a funny accent.

68. Ever take dance lessons?
Rose and I took ballroom dance lessons once.

69. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Rose can do anything, she's that amazing.

70. Can you curl your tongue?
No.

71. Ever won a spelling bee?
Nope.

72. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Nope.

73. Own any record albums?
Yes.

74. Own a record player?
Yes.

75. Regularly burn incense?
No.

76. Ever been in love?
I have been for a very long time now.

77. Who would you like to see in concert?
Aerosmith.

78. What was the last concert you saw?
Celine Dion with Rosalie. Never did I want to kill another person so much in my entire life. Celine Dion, not Rosalie.

79. Hot tea or cold tea?
Blood.

80. Tea or coffee?
Blood.

81. Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Blood.

82. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Dude...did I cover this already?

83. Can you swim well?
Yup.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
I don't breathe.

85. Are you patient?
No. My wife and my siblings can attest to this.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
I say DJ, but my wife says band, so we normally have one of those.

87. Ever won a contest?
Yup.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
Nope. Don't really need it.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
Blood.

90. Can you knit or crochet?
Nope.

91. Best room for a fireplace?
The bedroom.

92. Do you want to get married?
I am married.

93. If married, how long have you been married?
A long time. Rosalie knows the exact numbers. As long as I don't forget our anniversary, like I did that one time, I'm good.

94. Who was your high school crush?
Rosalie.

95. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
No one, because Rosalie's the only woman I need. Also, even if I did, I'm pretty sure she'd kill them.

96. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
No. I'm pretty sure my feet wouldn't even fit in a pair of Rose or Alice's heels, anyway.

97. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
No. The puppy dog eyes normally work with Rosalie.

98. Do you have kids?
I'm undead. I can't really have kids.

99. Do you want kids?
See my above comment.

100. Do you miss anyone right now?
I miss Rosalie. And the rest of my family.