Cloud Strife (deliveryboy) wrote in clockwork_rp, @ 2008-11-26 23:52:00 |
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Entry tags: | cid::lowind, cloud::deliveryboy |
Want a motorbike with wings? Call 555-000-CID
Who: Cloud (deliveryboy) and Cid (lowind)
What: Fenrir being used as excuse to have a friendly talk. 'cept it's Cid, delete the friendly part.
When: Evening. After this.
Where: The lobby.
Warnings: Cid.
What had stopped him for so long? If he had really wanted to leave, he wouldn’t have waited at all, he could have just left, he was good at that anyway, but it wasn’t something he was proud of. Why was he leaving anyway? He knew that not even one of the things he enjoyed the most, like riding Fenrir, would make him feel better if he did, there was surely another way to fix those messed up thoughts of his.
And of course, there was another way.
So, where was he going? …oh yeah, to the lobby, with Cid. Though he had to accept that for a moment instead of leading Fenrir from the garage to where the Captain was going to wait for him, he wanted to ride it and flee away from the hotel the farthest possible instead… But that wasn’t going to happen; it wasn’t going to solve anything anyway. He didn’t doubt Cid’s company would ease him a little, but he had to accept he wasn’t going to help him with the thoughts in his head. He’d had to deal with those later, or simply forget about them, more like bottle them up more than just forgetting them.
He started trying to get his mind on where he was going and why but the messed up thoughts of Tifa, Light and Blue, especially Blue… just wouldn’t leave him alone. Tifa and Light were one issue, one that he was starting to loathe, Tifa was his best friend, right? She would understand he had been under a curse when he ended up with Light… but he didn’t want to tell her about it, he felt somehow dirty, it was something that he cherished and hated at the same time… He simply didn’t know how to deal with it, but all he knew was that he didn’t want to hurt her, at all, even if it meant to get away from her… just as he did when he was sick, but he wasn’t thinking about that part either. His priorities were others.
Blue was another totally different issue. He was afraid of him, afraid of how he had invaded into his mind just without any advice, of course, he hadn’t done it with a bad intention but Cloud couldn’t remember when was the last time he felt so anxious, and helpless, it was something he couldn’t control at all. And as much as he tried not to, it simply reminded him of those past days when he didn’t know who he was, or the real reason behind his actions. He had had moments of despair before, Sephiroth, Kadaj… worring about the kids, about Tifa, but that was different, it was something he had certain control over, even with his Geostigma, he had accepted he’d die, it scared him, but he knew what would happen and that way he had taken control over it too.
But what Blue had done, got him completely off guard, to listen that voice inside his head was just… It would be better to stop thinking about it, Cid wouldn’t care anyway.
Cloud opened the main doors of the hotel and guided Fenrir inside, a huge bike inside the lobby would bring some curious eyes, that he didn’t want to deal with in that moment, but he didn’t mind right then. He turned around, looking for Cid, ignoring anyone else and if anyone that knew him would have seen the way he was doing it, would have assumed he was a bit too anxious, looking with wide eyes to every direction possible. Like a kid that had a bad day at school and arrived home just looking for his father to be there and give him a hug. Who knew? Oh but wait… Cid knew him, right?