Shinji Ikari (third_child) wrote in clockwork_rp, @ 2008-05-26 00:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | asuka::antabaka, shinji::third_child |
Celebration of International Angst Day [Active]
Who: Shinji (third_child) and Asuka (antabaka
What: Shinji was talking to Asuka when suddenly she broke down. And then he read Cloud's post. So he ran out of his room and went to look for her.
When: After Asuka's last comment on this post.
Where: Asuka's room.
Warnings: Uhm. A lot of angst. Very probably some cursing and perhaps some violence? Asuka is unpredictable that way. :|
Shinji didn't even close his portable or give some sort of explanation to Kaworu as he rushed out the door, slamming it behind him and taking quick steps towards the stairs. Asuka wasn't feeling okay, she just wasn't, he had felt it the moment Cloud posted that entry - but still, Shinji had decided to ignore it a little bit, since Asuka was actually talking to him through comments and seemed okay and she was still being her snarky, impatient self and he thought he could ignore all the voices in his head telling him something isn't right, she's not okay, she needs to talk, but she had this shell and wouldn't let him in and he thought he could use it as an excuse to keep away from her problems, but then-
Shinji ... I ... Stupid... so... I'm sorry but I just...
Do you... love me?
At first, Shinji's heart had just begun to race. His ears started to feel... very warm. Then his cheeks. He didn't need to look at his face to know it was turning red, and he knew he had to make sure Kaworu wouldn't notice - he's probably reading a book, anyway - otherwise he'd start asking questions, then he'd look at the entry and the words so clearly visible on his portable and he'd be upset and start asking more questions, then Shinji would be embarrassed and feel horrible.
Do you... love me?
What- Why did she ask that? That was just... so out of the blue! What reason could she have to just up and ask him that? Did he love her? Well, he- there was a definite attraction somewhere in the middle. She was beautiful, that was a fact, and confident, and wasn't afraid to be honest and stand her ground, and she could be very... sensual. She knew exactly how to charm a person when she set her target, but- did Shinji love her? He couldn't! Their relationship was... something entirely different. They had emotional luggage, and she had memories of going through hell by his side that Shinji would never get to get a glimpse of - not for a good while, at least - so anything remotely close to love would only ruin everything. It would only fuck things up, wouldn't it? Complicate them even further.
Shinji managed to avoid the answer and their conversation continued. He actually witnessed as Asuka broke down through comments, and how the mention of Cloud's name made it worse. God damn it. He knew it!
He could hear his own footsteps heavily on the hallways. He passed by a familiar face or two, but failed to greet them - not that they would mind it much, anyway - and just kept walking until he was looking at Asuka's bedroom door. He wondered if Sakura was inside and wished she wasn't- he had nothing against the girl, obviously, but it would make this very uncomfortable for him, whatever it was that he was planning to do. He didn't know, he never knew how to handle things. He just knew that Asuka was broken and he didn't want to be the one to leave her alone. Not again.
He tried to turn the doorknob. It didn't work. Of course it didn't. How stupid could Shinji get?
"Asuka?" He knocked on the door with urgency. His voice was trembling, but he was trying his hardest to keep himself together. He would need to. "Asuka, please let me in. We... we need to talk."