Current music:	Insensitive - Jann Arden
Entry tags:	het, nc-17, short story, slayers, smut, songfic, xellos x filia, zanne, zanne: slayers

[xellos x filia; nc-17] Insensitive
Title: Insensitive
Author: emilie_burns
Fandom: The Slayers
Pairing: Xellos/Filia
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 5367
Warnings: Bondage, smut
Disclaimer: The Slayers are owned by Hajime Kanzaka; Rui Araizumi; Kadokawa Shoten; TV TOKYO; SOFTX; Marubeni. "Insensitive" is by Jann Arden.
Notes: So I was watching "Bed of Roses" one day long ago and it featured the song in question, and a plotbunny pounced it. I really do love the Xellos/Filia pairing, but I'll be damned if he's not fun to write as a thoroughly evil bastard once in a while too. Also, the scenes aren't completely set up in a chronological timeline, but it should be relatively easy to pick up where you're at.
Summary: They sat in front of the fireplace together, quietly drinking tea while she talked animatedly about the events which transpired since his last sojourn. Xellos listened with polite interest, and while she was in the middle of talking, he simply relieved her of her teacup and silenced her with a demanding, but tender, kiss, his hand cupping the back of her neck, holding her to him.

Insensitive

"Big sister?" Jillas's voice was tentative, worried. Sniffling, Filia tried to bring the tears under control before she looked to the fox-man. "Why are you crying?"

"It's okay, Jillas," she said, looking at him, forcing a smile for his sake. "I'm just..." She trailed off, looking out the window, still feeling the venomous sting of the words spoken only a short while ago. "Just being stupid, I guess."

He flung himself at her then, wrapping his arms around her neck in a tight hug. "You're not stupid!" he protested. "You're my big sister!"

Hugging him back, Filia closed her eyes, struggling not to even so much as sniffle.

He wasn't worth her tears.

How do you cool your lips
After a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss?

"So precious," Filia whispered, leaning in the doorway as she looked in on the sleeping hatchling.

"Quite," murmured a voice so close to her ear, she could feel his breath against her cheek. Filia turned her head to smile at Xellos, only to find his open-eyed gaze was fixed intently on her.

She blushed, ducking her head.

"Why do you hide your face from me, Miss Filia?" he whispered, his gloved fingertip stroking along her jaw, tilting her head back up until she looked at him. The backside of his fingers gently brushed her cheek. "It's beautiful."

Filia felt her face grow even warmer, gazing adoringly up into those amethyst eyes she once tried to make herself believe she loathed. Xellos smiled slightly, and leaned in closer, his cool lips brushing against hers. "Come, now, Miss Filia. Let the child sleep."

How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound
Of a voice you'd know anywhere?

"What are you doing here, Mazoku?"

"Now, now, Miss Filia! There's no need to be violent! Put that mace away." Xellos made a chiding tsk sound. "I just thought I would come back and check on you."

"She sent you after me, didn't she?" Filia hoisted the mace higher, glaring murderously at him.

"She who? If you mean Lord Beastmaster, then you are quite mistaken," Xellos replied. "She has given me time off as reward for my service in the last several months with stopping Dark Star. It occurred to me that you are quite alone now, and I thought I would see how you are faring."

In truth, she wasn't doing all that well. The loneliness was almost consuming. Everyone else had returned to their lives, but she had nothing left to which she could return.

But he was the last person to whom she'd admit to that.

"I was, until you showed up!"

"A violent, selfish, lying dragon?" Xellos asked, smirking. "Well, I can't say I'm all that surprised. You are a Gol--"

The rest of the word came in the sound of a very satisfying, and solid thump.

A few hours later, he made his way back to her, still a little scuffed from becoming very well reacquainted with her mace, but none the worse for the wear, all things considered.

"That wasn't very nice of you, Miss Filia."

"How dare you say that to me, you Mazoku?!" Filia glared at him furiously, using her rage to stomp down the tears that threatened her again, remembering his words.

"Perhaps to prove a point?" He opened his eyes then, looking at her directly. "Have you forgotten I feed on negative emotions? You were giving me such an excellent meal."

"You are disgusting!" she spat.

"No more than the vultures which are now eating the flesh of your race."

Filia stared at him, not even having the strength of will anymore to swing the mace again, for all her energy was focused simply on not crying in front of him.

"I know what he said hurt you."

Filia turned her back to him; there was no way she could keep from crying any longer. "He who?" she whispered.

"The Supreme Elder. He told a filthy Mazoku you were worthless. You were expendable to them. All you'd ever done was to serve them to the best of your ability, but they saw no value in you."

She hugged herself tightly as the tears flowed, a hand pressed to her lips to choke back the sobs, almost doubling over from the weight of the anguish. She tried to deny it, tried to deny him the enjoyment he was very likely taking in her pain, but with little success.

What she didn't expect was his arms to go around her shoulders, pulling her up, pulling her to him, into his embrace. With a tenderness she never would have thought a Mazoku to be capable of, he cradled her to himself. "He was wrong, little dragon. You are far from expendable. You don't have to be alone anymore."

Filia didn't know the game he was playing, but she knew she lost then. He was hitting her most sensitive buttons at the point where her vulnerability was the highest. She didn't care if he was a Mazoku then.

All that mattered was the thread of hope which she clung to for dear life, the hope that he was telling the truth.

Oh, I really should have known
By the time you drove me home,
By the vagueness in your eyes,
Your causal good-byes,
By the chill in your embrace

She couldn't believe she missed that Mazoku, but she did. Over the course of the three, almost four weeks they traveled togther, Filia had surprised herself by being able to see another side to Xellos.

A side which took hold of her wayward heart and refused to let go.

They traveled alone for two weeks, with only each other for company. By the time they met up with Jillas, and then Gravos, Filia was almost sorry to see them.

But it was so risky to be alone with Xellos for the simple fact that she began to crave private, quiet time with him. It was not only sinful, it was wrong on so many levels she couldn't even begin to count them all.

It was also dangerously enchanting.

After they reached a town which all of them decided seemed reasonably pleasant and suitable for a more permanent dwelling than the inns they'd passed along the way, Xellos took his leave.

That had been three months ago. The newly-opened shop where she sold pottery and weapons, crafted by herself and Gravos respectively, was doing well, and a gratifying distraction from her thoughts.

It was the nights when things slowed down that they all came back to her. Filia finished doing the nightly inventory of their wares, and had just placed the modified checklist on the shop counter when an unexpected, yet familiar voice startled her into a quick shriek.

Xellos chuckled as she turned around quickly. "My, you're a jumpy one, aren't you, Miss Filia? Why are you so surprised? I told you'd I'd return."

"Xellos." She wanted to scream at him for scaring her, but all she could manage was a smile.

He really did come back.

The expression on your face
Told me maybe you might have
Some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive.

Filia began to live for each visit. She never knew when the next one might be, or for how long, and the stretches of anticipation in between were bittersweet. The tiny hatchling, whom she named only Val, was a welcome distraction, but dragon hatchlings slept even more than human newborns.

She still had far too much time to suffer through the wait.

But for now, at least, the waiting was over. They sat in front of the fireplace together, quietly drinking tea while she talked animatedly about the events which transpired since his last sojourn. Xellos listened with polite interest, and while she was in the middle of talking, he simply relieved her of her teacup and silenced her with a demanding, but tender, kiss, his hand cupping the back of her neck, holding her to him.

At first, Filia was too surprised to do more than blink, but it didn't take long for her rapidly heating blood to smother decorum and common sense. Her arms slipped around his neck as she began to return it, letting him part her lips with his own. When his tongue invaded her mouth, she gasped in reflex, which allowed him to deepen the kiss even more. His arms went around her, pulling her firmly against him as the kiss began igniting liquid flame deep inside.

Just when she thought she could no longer breathe, Xellos's lips left hers. But then, she felt them on her neck, brushing the tender flesh before the sharp sting of his teeth sent rational thought out the window. Clutching his shoulders, each bite sent a fresh shiver down in her spine, driving the growing heat low in her belly to higher intensity.

Xellos released her, and his tongue left a lazy, hot trail over her pulse as he slipped his hands around to gently cup her breasts. Filia discovered the barrier of clothing was annoying, and whimpered in impatient pleasure as she felt him beginning to first unbutton her blouse, then unlace her corset. When his cool fingers, which had somehow lost their gloves along the way, touched her heated flesh, Filia whimpered, her short nails digging into his back, clutching at his cloak.

He roughly pinched her nipples while biting into her neck hard enough to break the skin, and Filia cried out his name sharply, clinging to him for dear life as she squirmed, driven on by instincts older than time. When he tenderly lapped at the trickle of blood on her neck, the burning heat inside seared away lucidity. Filia roughly tangled her fingers in his violet hair, pulling his lips from her neck up to meet hers, kissing him with the starved passion of one who denied sensuality for too long.

Xellos chuckled low in his throat, and when she felt his fingers trailing up her outer leg to brush the sensitive skin of her thigh above her garter, her hips bucked against his hand impulsively, trying to coax him into touching the center of the heat driving her mad. Instead, he withdrew his hand, and she whined sharply in frustration.

Xellos drew back, smirking down at her. "My, my. You're an impatient little dragon, aren't you?" he purred, sliding his hand over her dress and up her stomach to touch her breasts once more. His eyes left hers, traveling down her body, watching his fingertips as they circled her nipples in a lazy manner.

Sanity managed to acquire a big enough battering ram to force its way through the lusty haze that clouded her brain, and dumped cold water over her nerves. Realization sunk in, what she was doing, who she was doing it with, and most importantly, the fact that they were out in plain view in the middle of the living room for anyone who might happen to come down the stairs.

Breathing heavily, she shoved him away, clutching her blouse closed and trying to compose herself.

"What is it, little dragon?" he whispered, brushing his fingertips over her neck. "You were so eager for my touch just a moment ago."

Filia shivered as his open, dangerous, and beautiful eyes met hers, almost demolishing her resolve. Drawing in a deep breath, she somehow found it in her to speak. "We are not... bonded," she whispered hesitantly, stammering. "It's wrong."

Xellos chuckled. "By whose decree?" he asked. "The temple priests who laid down these rules are gone."

She looked at him, trying to smother the hurt, even though it was effectively quenching the flames. "It's still part of who I am, Xellos," she whispered.

He gazed at her, smiling in amusement. "And you would bond with me? A Mazoku?"

Filia held her breath. "Are you asking?" she murmured.

"I can't say that I am, no," he replied calmly.

She bit her lip, wincing a little. "If... are you going to leave if I say no?"

"I'll leave you unmolested, if those are your concerns."

"No, I mean, would you leave, and not return?"

"Is that what you desire?" His eyes bore into hers, and the warmth returned to her midsection again, sending delicious tingling sensations down her nerves through her stomach and hips.

"No," she whispered. "But... is this what you want from me?"

Xellos simply answered her with his maddening smile. "That is a secret."

How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush?

Xellos smiled slightly, and leaned in closer, his cool lips brushing against hers. "Come, now, Miss Filia. Let the child sleep."

Filia allowed him to lead her from the doorway, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt content and safe as he sank down onto the couch, pulling her into his arms. Not quite a year had elapsed from their first heated night on that very couch, but to her surprise, he never again pressed the issue.

That didn't stop him from touching her, though. He would often come up behind her while she was working, and gently draw her hair away from her neck, his fingers caressing her sensitive skin, sending shivers down her spine. It wasn't long before her lips found their way to his frequently, and it wasn't rare at all for them to spend the evenings they had together whenever he visited cuddled up in front of the fireplace after everyone else turned in, kissing and holding one another.

The long, dry spells whenever he was gone were maddening. Longing for his touch, yet deprived of it for undetermined lengths of time, Filia's thoughts eventually began to lead her down other paths. As time went on, it grew increasingly more difficult to silence the urges that would surface on the lonely nights, and remember all the reasons why it was wrong.

If it was hard to remember the whys when she was alone, remembering the whys when they were together was hundred times more difficult. And it was no exception now, as Filia slipped her arms around his neck, melting into his kiss, pressed up against his chest, his hands tenderly cupping her face.

He had been so patient, and denying him was increasingly difficult. Xellos had no need to pressure her. Her own desires and lust did a remarkable job of that. Finally, she rationalized that she was no longer technically a shrine maiden, for there was no shrine to which she belonged, and therefore, no reason whatsoever to continue to live on as one.

Drawing back from him, she rose from the couch. His expression was quizzical as she slowly walked out of the room, never taking her gaze from his eyes. A hungry, predatory light glimmered in their amethyst depths as he rose from the couch, following her with a faint smirk.

"Running away from me now, little dragon?" Xellos whispered, following her down the hall. His tone was a soft, bewitching purr that sent thrilled shivers through every nerve inward, making her heard flutter.

"That depends," she whispered, walking backward, using her tail and a hand on the wall to keep her course steady. "Are you trying to catch me?"

A wolfish grin formed on his lips. "That depends," Xellos countered. "Will you let me?"

She felt both powerful and powerless at once. The sensation was heady, leaving her feeling drunk, and bolder than she ever recalled feeling before. Filia arched an eyebrow as she gave him a slow grin. "Try me." Her pulse already racing, she spun on the ball of her foot and sprinted the remaining distance down the hall to her bedroom, only to run full-tilt into his arms as he reappeared in front of her by her bed.

Xellos's grip was like a vice, yet he wasn't hurting her, just preventing her from escaping. "Captive," he murmured, brushing his lips over hers as he spoke, then firmly bit her throat, not hard enough to truly hurt or impede her breathing, but with just enough pressure to remind her he could.

Filia moaned, gripping his shoulders tightly as she pressed her body against his. A searing, liquid fire replaced the blood in her veins, and she was aware of her own pulse throbbing lower as blood pooled toward her hips. A wet ache formed between her legs, craving touch, craving release, as his hands roamed down her back to cup her bottom, pulling her hips firmly against him while he nibbled roughly at her neck.

Feeling his erection pressing against her through their clothes nearly drove her over the edge as she dug her nails into his shoulders, turning her head, trying to bite and kiss his neck in return, whimpering eagerly. To her frustration, he abruptly drew back, just out of arm's reach, and crossed his arms.

"Are you sure you want this, Miss Filia?" he asked.

Her mouth feeling cotton-dry, she nodded.

"Then prove it to me. Disrobe yourself."

Filia blushed furiously but didn't look away as she started undoing her garments, trying to get her shaking hands to cooperate. Xellos did not look away from her eyes until the last of her clothing was discarded casually on the floor, then his gaze slowly traveled down her body. She struggled not to conceal herself, blushing from both desire and shyness as he looked her over. When his eyes finally returned to hers, he gave her a smirk that hinted toward a leer.

"Such a lovely dragon," he whispered.

Filia blushed even more. "You're still clothed," she reminded him.

"So I am." Then his clothes vanished from view, much to her surprise. Xellos chuckled as her eyes widened. "My clothes are merely a part of me, little dragon."

Swallowing hard, trying to force her heart back into its proper place, Filia half-allowed, half-forced herself to look at him, seeing him without clothes for the first time. Suddenly bashful, Filia steadfastly refused to let her gaze travel to a very certain region until she'd already memorized every other inch.

Then she felt scared.

Filia knew from things she had heard over the years that her first time would hurt. Looking at him now, her courage began to wane.

Then his lips were on her neck, his kisses tender and gentle. No other part of him touched her, and he delicately nibbled her earlobe. "Do you still want this, Miss Filia?" he whispered. "Do you still want me?"

Yearning crashed into her full-force, and she clung to him then to keep from falling as her knees buckled. "Yes, Xellos," she murmured against his lips as his mouth met hers. "I want you."

He pushed her back onto the bed, lowering himself on top of her. Feeling breathless, like they were the only things in all of existence, she clutched at him, roaming her hands down his back, marveling at the cool, almost marble-smooth texture of his skin beneath her palms. His mouth covered hers again in a passionate, invasive kiss, hard and demanding.

She cried out into it, startled, as his hands suddenly clamped over her wrists, pinning them forcefully to the bed above her head, pinning them there with one hand. He drew back slightly, watching her with a slight smirk, reaching down to roll a nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Filia watched him, and the hint of danger only pushed her arousal to higher peaks.

Keeping her wrists pinned, Xellos lowered his head, wrapping his lips around the nipple he had just previously been toying with, suckling at her. If she had craved him before, it was nothing compared to the hungry fire that exploded in her now. Filia cried out, arching her back, straining against him, pressing herself to him, eager for his touch. When his teeth closed down over the nipple, she thought she might exploded if the building pressure between her legs wasn't soothed, and soon. Her tail thrashed against the bed and struck his back, sliding down over his backside and legs, coiling a bit around his thigh.

"So that's how my dragon likes it," he murmured, his open-eyed gaze hungry. Xellos turned his attentions to her other nipple, sending her into a fever pitch.

He released her wrists, but to her surprise, she still couldn't move her arms. Somehow, he had fashioned restraints, keeping her arms locked above her head. Taking his time, Xellos lazily left a trail of kisses and bites down her stomach and right leg all the way to her toes. Not in any rush, he worked his way back up, kissing her belly just above the thatch of hair between her legs as he moved over to lavish the same attention to her left side.

Filia wanted to scream. Every tantalizing kiss made the wetness between her legs ache even more in desperation, yet that seemed to be the one part of her he avoided. She thrashed desperately against the restraints, trying to move closer to his mouth as he once more kissed his way back down her right leg again, but with little success.

This time, though, his return up to her hips followed a path along her inner thigh as he positioned himself between her legs. Pinning her hips to immobility with his hands, Xellos gently blew over the sensitive flesh at the apex between her legs. Filia's breath lodged in her throat as every muscle quivered in thwarted anticipation. Before she blink, his mouth was touching her, kissing her in a way she never imagined in even her most risque daydreams.

The firm, gentle touch of his tongue sent all hope for coherent thought on vacation. The only thing that existed for her anymore, the only thing that mattered, was the building sensations that screamed down her nerves, driving her ever higher. It was almost terrifying in its intensity, and she struggled against its pull, her eyes wide and unseeing as she called out his name desperately, begging him to stop, pleading with him not to stop, unable to make up her mind as she was swept away in a torrent of sensation that surpassed anything else she had ever experienced.

Then she exploded inside, the liquid fire crashing over her in blinding, white-hot waves that stole the air from her lungs. It was then that she became intensely aware that his touch was rapidly becoming too much for her to handle, and she screamed, struggling against him, against the bindings, gasping for air, fervently begging him to stop. When he finally did, she began to drift back into reality, tenderly as featherdown.

The bed shifted as he moved up beside her, and his hand stroking over her belly both rippled and soothed the liquid heat inside that still trickled down her nerves. When his hand touched her cheek, she opened her eyes to see him kneeling beside her.

"Turnabout's fair play, wouldn't you agree, Miss Filia?" Xellos said, brushing her cheek gently with his knuckles.

Her heart fluttered nervously as she looked at him, but when their eyes met, Filia didn't feel as though she could deny him anything. All she wanted was him. Nothing else mattered.

Tentatively, her lips parted, and as she experimentally ran her tongue over the head of his shaft, she saw him shudder slightly. Emboldened by the sense of power it gave her, to have the ability to evoke that kind of reaction in him, she parted her lips more, closing them over the head as she dragged her tongue across it.

His breathing grew more ragged as he closed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair and lightly grabbing a fistful over the top of her head, holding her to him slightly. Filia started suckling at him, moving her tongue against his shaft all the while, heady from the power trip his responses were giving her.

Xellos opened his eyes slightly to gaze down at her, and his hand trembled as he cupped her cheek, stroking it with the pad of his thumb. "Wonderful, little dragon," he whispered, pulling away. "But are you ready yet to give yourself over to me?" He leaned over, brushing his lips against hers. "Body and soul?"

Filia trembled, never realizing how delicious or erotic fear could be. "Yes," she breathed into the kiss. "I want you."

Xellos moved down the bed to kneel between her legs, and she wrapped them around his waist as he leaned forward, bracing himself against the bed, looking down into her eyes. Filia shivered in delight at the feel of something firm rubbing against the slick heat between her legs. Then his mouth came down over hers hard in a demanding, aggressive kiss, followed almost seconds later by a blinding flash of pain where once there had only been pleasure.

She screamed into the kiss, wincing, trying to pull away from him, but the bed had her trapped, there was nowhere to go. Xellos remained perfectly still, continuing to kiss her, and as she started to respond to the kiss once more, the sharpness started to fade, morphing into an even more intense craving.

Once the pain started to subside, he began to move, drawing back, looking at her. Filia gazed up at him, trembling breathlessly as he filled her completely with each thrust. The ministrations from his mouth earlier had staved off the worst of her lust, but it was only after she felt him moving inside of her that she knew this was what her body truly desired.

The heat she had felt earlier was a flash fire; searing and intense, but skimming over the surfaces. As he touched her in places and ways no one else ever had before, it turned into a deep, roiling blaze that reached down to her very core.

The bindings on her wrists dissolved under his hands as he pinned her with his own strength once more, biting at her neck, licking over her pulse as he thrust inside her, his motion steady and powerful. Whimpering his name breathlessly, Filia writhed beneath him slightly, matching his rhythm, all her senses straining toward a delicious release that flirted with her just beyond her grasp.

She bit down on his shoulder, and he growled lustily, slamming into her with a force that stopped just shy of being painful. All it did was heighten her arousal, and she nipped at Xellos again, tugging against his grip, her draconian nature luring her into a mock battle for dominance. Her tail lashed against him in her struggles, and that only served to increase the forcefulness of their coupling. Filia growled in breathless pleasure, every nerve screaming for release.

Then, she couldn't move. Somehow, he pinned her; legs, tail and all. Filia bucked her hips against his as much as she could, then Xellos bit down on her throat, hard enough for adrenaline to surge at the threat, feeling his teeth dangerously close to breaking the skin, sensing the restrained power that could so easily kill her.

And the adrenaline mixed with hungry lust to form an erotic elixir powerful to drive her up over the edge as her nerves exploded, flooding every cell with a hypnotic buzz as she came.

How do you free your soul
After you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart
It's a crime to fall in love again?

It was in the cool, gray hours of false dawn when she woke up too soon, her mind registering something missing. The raw ache of unaccustomed activity quickly brought the previous hours, spent engaging in all manner of carnal delights, back to her memory. Realizing Xellos was no longer in bed with her, Filia sat upright quickly.

She relaxed when she saw him standing there, looking in her mirror, checking his appearance. "You have to leave?" she asked.

Xellos looked at her impassively as he smoothed down his cloak. "I simply desire to depart."

Filia blinked. "Um...why?"

"The chase is over."

She frowned slightly at the tight constriction over her heart, and drew the sheet up to her shoulders, covering herself in her sudden awareness of vulnerability. "What do you mean?"

"A lovely dragon, but not very bright." Xellos turned fully to face her, his lips curling into a smirk. "You are quite talented in bed. If it wasn't for the obvious proof, I would have thought you were quite learned in such things. Perhaps even a professional."

She recoiled, feeling as though he'd just slapped her. "Wha... why are you saying this?"

"Just telling you the truth, Miss Filia. You make such a lovely chase."

"Is... is that all you wanted?" she stammered.

"Of course!" His tone was cheerful, his eyes closed, that infuriating smile on his face. "What else would there be? How many other Mazoku can say that they were able to seduce a dragon, nay, a shrine maiden dragon, into bedding them?"

"Ahh..." Filia moaned, pressing a hand to her mouth as hot tears came to her eyes, mercifully blurring him from her vision. But nothing stopped his voice.

"Some of us, now, like feasting on the emotions that come when one takes someone by force. I vastly prefer these moments. The sense of betrayal is sweeter by far."

"You just used me," she choked. "I- I real- really thought that you--"

"That I what?" His tone was sharp now, and cut into her heart. "That I loved you?" Xellos laughed quietly. "Miss Filia, I thought you knew better than that. A Mazoku? Love? It's not something we're capable of, or even something we care to attempt. Your sappy emotions have made this out into quite a trying year, but I'm glad I stuck by it. The payoff is sweet indeed."

"Get out," she said hoarsely.

"My, my. You talk as though you could make me." He walked over, cupping his hand behind her neck, pulling her to him in a rough kiss.

Filia shoved her hands against his chest hard, pushing him away. "Leave me alone!" she spat. "You've had your fun! Now get out and don't come back!"

"Miss Filia, I come and go as I please. Especially now that your flavor is even more appealing to the palate."

Desperately choking back sobs, she looked away, trying her hardest not to cry in front of him.

To not cry at all.

"But for now, though, I do indeed have to take my leave. Duty calls and all that." She flinched as he kissed her cheek. "That was a great roll in the hay, and you serve up such a nice breakfast."

After he vanished, nothing she could do would smother the low, keening wail that strained at her throat. It felt as though heartbroken was too kind a term to be accurately descriptive.

Oh, you probably won't remember me.
It's probably ancient history.
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you.
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch.
I fell too fast, I feel too much.

She couldn't push his words from her mind. Filia's feet grew still, the pottery wheel drifting to a halt as tears spilled from her eyes, pushed out by the throbbing ache inside.

"Big sister?" Jillas's voice was tentative, worried. Sniffling, Filia tried to bring the tears under control before she looked to the fox-man. "Why are you crying?"

"It's okay, Jillas," she said, looking at him, forcing a smile for his sake. "I'm just..." She trailed off, looking out the window, still feeling the venomous sting of the words spoken only a short while ago. "Just being stupid, I guess."

He flung himself at her then, wrapping his arms around her neck in a tight hug. "You're not stupid!" he protested. "You're my big sister!"

Hugging him back, Filia closed her eyes, struggling not to even so much as sniffle.

He wasn't worth her tears.

I thought that you might have
Some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive.

- end