“I never said you’d betray me.” L said, shaking his head slowly, watching numbly as she started to open the door. “But you could be captured and hurt all for the sake of hurting me. Association to me has never been a good thing. Should I have not considered how much you might suffer because of me? It is true that if you were close to someone else, Niflheim could do the same thing but not everyone has enemies there, and those that do have enemies don’t have to be as concerned at them actively looking to do just that.”
And they would have options, they didn’t have to be cold. L would just have to let it to happen despite his feelings because he couldn’t yield or show weakness. He had at least one enemy who would be more than willing to use her to break him down.
He buried his head against his knees, not wanting her to leave but knowing that he had to accept that she was. “Letting you leave is the right thing for me to do. What I want is the wrong thing. It is wrong of me to show feelings, it is wrong of me to get attached to someone, it is wrong of me to abandon everything for another person. But I have, and I am.”
He didn’t know if she was gone or not, but he didn’t think anything he could say would have stop her from leaving. “I want to continue doing the wrong thing. I’ll accept the consequences if it means being with you.”