His eyes widened briefly as what she was saying sank in. She loved him as well? L had not considered that possibility, and as she spoke, he looked as though she had just punched him in the stomach.
Each word she said stung. L had expected her to be angry with him but he didn’t expect to bring her this much pain. And for once he hated himself. He hated who he was. He hated that it had to be like this, but just he sat there letting this happen because it needed to. This was goodbye. Painful as it was, it was best for both of them, wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it?
L closed his eyes for a moment. He felt like he was getting ripped apart on the inside. This was really for the best?
“No, it doesn’t mean anything good. If you don’t go both you and I have a greater risk of getting hurt. I may not be able to protect you, and Niflheim would likely try to use you against me if they found out. If something happened to you…” L stopped. regardless of all of this, something could still happen to her. Pushing her away didn’t necessarily mean she was safe. It just meant that she would be safe from anything involving him.
“I cannot stop you if you want to leave, nor can I force you to,” L said hoarsely. He lowered his voice, barely above a whisper, “I wish that you wouldn’t. But I can’t possibly ask you for that.”