The bit about being in heaven gets raised eyebrows, but no comment. It's nice to know that there actually is one, but she'll leave thinking about that for later.
"Things were pretty normal until my dad left us when I was thirteen. We had to leave New York City and go and live in this creepy old house in Springfield, Connecticut. It belongs to my mother's aunt, Lucinda Spiderwick, and at the time, she was in an asylum. Turns out that the area around the Spiderwick Estate is lousy with faeries of all kinds, and Aunt Lucinda's dad used to study them. He got kidnapped by wood elves because of the book he wrote, and Lucinda got locked up when some other faeries came and roughed her up to try and get her dad's book. See, most people can't see faeries unless they want to be seen, so people thought Lucinda had gone nuts and was hurting herself."
She takes a moment to reposition herself to keep stretching and then continues.
"When we moved in, my little brother found the book that all of the evil faeries were looking for, so they came after us. We couldn't let them have it, because then they'd kill us. Simon--my other brother-- was kidnapped by goblins, I was kidnapped by dwarves and put in suspended animation in a glass coffin until my brothers rescued me. Then we had to go and fight the Ogre Mulgarath who shapeshifted into my dad and almost killed us all."
She's left a bunch of stuff out, but that's the gist.