changedmod (changedmod) wrote in changedrpg, @ 2011-07-22 19:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | !date: 1997 - july, !the quibbler |
The Quibbler: 22 July, 1997
Half-Giants in Muggle Communities?
R. MacFusty
Some wizards may be aware that Muggles play a sport known as “basketball,” a game played on a flat surface with five players on each team, a single ball, and a single hoop at each end of the pitch (or as they call it, “the court”). What might be lesser known is that the game marks a dangerous merging of magical and muggle worlds.
The first time I attended one of these basketball games, the first thing I noticed (besides being confused by the complicated rules -- five chasers, no keepers, beaters or seekers) was something extremely odd. Some of the men there looked about the size of ... well, I hadn’t seen anyone that large since Care of Magical Creatures classes with Professor Hagrid. I know Muggles can be large, but it was just beyond credibility! Since then I have followed the game and players closely, never missing a chance to watch a match. When I noticed the players were making grunting sounds I began to get worried.
It is entirely possible that the Muggles are not only in the presence of magical creatures they don’t know exist but are raising them to places of power and respect. There are Giants, or more accurately half-Giants, entering Muggle cities and picking up on this basketball thing. Players seem to grow larger as time passes. If the trend continues it is entirely possible, even probable that all Muggle athletes in basketball and other sports may be completely overwhelmed and replaced by members of the Magical world. Needless to say this would be a serious violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy of 1692 and demands an immediate reaction from all authorities.
Despite attempts to reach out to spokeswizards for the Ministry of Magic, the Quibbler was unable to get any sort of statement on what the Ministry is prepared to do about the problem or even a hint that they accept this is a growing concern. To make matters more complicated a number of these players for some reason are followed by journalists, for some reason referred to as paparazzi for their devotion to their subjects, follow these men everywhere they go. Getting them in for questioning about something that can’t even be revelead would be exceptionally difficult. Lifting the Secrecy Ban would at least create an open environment for proper regulation and screening to ensure the Muggle world’s continued safety.
“Sure, just put a Disillusionment Charm on them at night, while they’re asleep,” Retired Department of Magical Law Enforcement member and frequent Quibbler source, Arnie Wolport proposed. “Then Disapparte with them and take them in for questioning so these, what, paparatsi [sic] guys don’t see them. Then, once they’re finished, wipe their memories and take them home! Certainly that would work, I’m sure they’ll try that any day now.” Whether the Ministry will take the advice of their former agent and forced retiree, only time will tell. While what actions that can be taken remain a question, we can only hope in the meantime the Muggles remain safe.