Eliot was tired. Very tired. Things at work had been hectic and his sleep hadn't been great for awhile now. Even the gray, stormy days weren't helping which usually made for good sleeping. He padded into the bathroom to brush his teeth then wash and moisturize his face. He took a moment to look in the mirror, his thoughts swirling as he stared at his reflection. Sighing he turned off the light and left the bathroom.
He took off his robe and laid it across a chair before climbing into bed and snuggling up to Quentin. Outside thunder was rumbling as rain fell. "Should make for some good sleep tonight, mm?"
Under normal circumstances, Quentin would call this weather perfect for snuggling. These were not normal circumstances, and once people started talking about nightmares he knew he was right to be worried. He hoped that being together would help keep them from succumbing to whatever it was that was causing the nightmares. He’d already done his nightly before bed routine and was curled up in bed with Luna being her adorable self while Eliot did his own nightly rituals.
He couldn’t help but smile and snuggle back into his arms. “You mean snuggling up with you? Always.” He gave the kitten one last pet then shifted around to face the other man. “You know that always helps me sleep better.” HE leaned in for a proper goodnight kiss and then shifted to settle his head against the man’s chest. “Night, my love.” He closed his eyes and fell asleep to the sound of Eliot’s heart beating against his ear.
Quentin found himself in a place that felt at once completely foreign and yet somehow so very familiar. He couldn’t remember how long he’d been there, but he was sure it couldn’t possibly have been very long. All he knew is that he wanted to get out and go…go where? He couldn’t remember that. He could only remember that he had to get out.
He liked storms and oddly had always found some kind of comfort in them from the time he was young. Most kids didn't like them, but Eliot had found out early on there were far worse things in the world to be afraid of. At least Quentin hadn't had any bad dreams so far, and he really hoped it would stay that way. What he could have nightmares about were things he wouldn't want him to experience again.
Eliot squeezed Quentin and smiled. "That's exactly what I meant." His smile was still there when the other shifted to face him. "Me too." He leaned into the kiss, caressing Quentin's cheek. "Goodnight, beautiful. Sleep well." He switched off the bedside lamp then wrapped his arm back around Q. He laid in the dark, watching flashes of lightning here and there, listening to the rumbling thunder. then slowly drifted off with the warmth and weight of Quentin lulling him to sleep.
Quentin could hear something moving behind him and he didn’t know what it was, he only knew it was chasing him. He was trying not to look like he was panicking as he made his way down a long corridor of doors. He paused only long enough to try random doorknobs as he moved. He knew if he could find an open one, he’d be safe. Safe from whatever what chasing him. And if he found the right door, he’d be able to get out of here….wherever here was exactly. He had finally figured out what it was, and that told him everything he needed to know about why he needed to get the hell OUT of there.
The were closer now and the panic that had been slowly rising in his chest was becoming too strong to ignore and he screamed as he tried the next door. And the next, and the next. He couldn’t find that open one he knew had to be there. He could hear them closer still, and now he could hear what they were saying. ”It’s for your own good, Mr. Coldwater.” and ”You will feel so much better after your treatments…” He didn’t know what kind of treatments, but he knew he didn’t want them! Then one of them was suddenly close enough to grab him and he screamed as he kicked and fought against the thing that was much bigger and stronger than he was.
In the waking world, Quentin slept fitfully, his body shifting almost as if he were trying to run. He was whimpering quietly as he tried to get away from whatever was chasing him in his dreams. When it caught him he screamed and shoved hard at the nearest solid thing to him. It happened to be Eliot who was sleeping beside him and he kicked and shoved at the man as he screamed. “NO!! STOP!” This would normally be the point when some part of his mind realized he was dreaming and would shock him awake, but for some reason that was not happening this time.
Eliot woke, eyes flying open at the sound of a scream and being shoved hard. It only took a second to register that it was Quentin who was kicking and shoving him as he screamed. Most likely having a nightmare as he was still asleep. He quickly shifted. “Q, wake up.” He shook him, but the assault and yelling continued. Eliot shook him harder. “Q! You’re dreaming, wake up.” The others' eyes suddenly opened and looked around wildly. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He caressed Quentin’s cheek then moved to pull him into his arms, wrapping them around him. “I’ve got you. It’s okay. I’m here.” Damn nightmares. He was really hoping Q wouldn’t be affected by them, but trust this place to make sure just about everyone is no matter what.
Quentin fought against the arms trying to soothe him but he was not very well coordinated under the best of circumstances, and this time he was asleep so all he really managed to do was swat at him. “Let me go!” It took a few tries before he finally did wake up. It was the calm voice that finally broke through to him. He was drawn to it and he knew so long as that voice was near he would be saved. Soon enough he was clinging to Eliot, his nose buried in the man’s neck. He tried to speak but all he could manage was a whimper so he stopped trying and just clung for dear life. He tried to hold back his tears with zero success. He was still tense, and his mind was still trying to settle on if it was awake or if it was still dreaming. Eventually he relaxed but he did not move away from the calming hold. He could still feel the hands trying to pull him down and the smell of the corridor, but he knew he was safe. He knew Eliot was with him and would not let anything happen to him. HE kept his nose buried in the man’s neck and breathed deep until he finally could smell nothing but Eliot.
His tears finally slowed and his breathing returned to normal as his mind completely caught up with the moment. And then he remembered his dream a bit more clearly, but without the terror thanks to the strong arms around him. He shifted until he could pull his head back and looked up at Eliot. He gave him an apologetic look and whispered. “I”m sorry.”
The more Quentin ‘fought’ him, the tighter Eliot held him.”You’re safe, Q. I’ve got you. Nothing or no one is going to hurt you.” He spoke softly, one hand going to rub over his back. It broke his heart to hear and feel him crying. He had a couple of ideas of what the nightmare could be about, but as with them all, there were plenty of things to choose from. “It’s okay.” Eliot kept talking softly trying to get Quentin to relax some. The tension in his body was evident, like a string on a violin finely tuned to the point of almost breaking.
He reached up and brushed a few tears away when Quentin looked up at him. “No, there’s no need to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Even if he’d somehow hurt Eliot there was no way he would let him apologize for something that was the result of a nightmare. He pulled Quentin close once more, arms encircling and almost slightly rocking him. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here. And if you don’t I’ll just hold you all night long.”
He was still sure he’d managed to get at least a couple of good hits in before he finally stopped trying to fight the man. He just leaned into the gentle touches then melted into his embrace. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it, but it was a recurring nightmare. He had it every now and then, and had for a very long time. It was somehow worse this time and he wondered why, but suspected it had something to do with whatever it was in the rain that was triggering nightmares in everyone. “Will you hold me all night long even if I do want to talk about it?” HE looked up and bumped his nose against Eliot’s chin. He knew the answer to the question already, he still wanted to hear it though.
He shifted until he was tucked as small as he could get himself against Eliot’s body and leaned his head against his shoulder. When he spoke, his voice was just barely above a whisper. Just enough to be heard in the darkened room over the sound of rain hitting the windows. “I’ve had this dream before, but it was so much more intense this time. It’s not always exactly the same, but mostly. Sometimes there’s more…” He paused a moment to think. He’d never actually seen whatever was chasing him. He just knew it was there and only vaguely human. “Sometimes there’s more things chasing me. They’re supposed to be doctors or something and they want to give me some kind of treatment. To fix me.” He shook his head and curled up a little tighter. His voice dropped even lower and was full of fear again. “I”m not that broken, El. I promise I’m not.” Sometimes though he worried he might be too broken for anyone to put up with him for very long. Even if he knew Eliot would never leave him, it was still something he worried about deep in the darkest pit of his stomach.
“Of course I’ll you if you want to talk about it,” he assured Quentin. He was going to hold him all night regardless of what he wanted to do, but perhaps more so if he talked about it because he knew how difficult that could be.
He pulled Quentin closer if that was possible when he began to share his dream. It was the one he feared it was, the one he didn’t want him to ever have. His breath caught at the other’s words about not being that broken. It pulled on his heart strings and made it squeeze tightly in his chest. “You don’t need to be fixed. You’re beautiful and wonderful and I love you so much, Q.” Of course he understood feeling broken, but being fixed? What the hell did that even mean? Everyone is flawed. “Do you want to know something? I think if we weren’t both ‘broken’ then our hearts and souls would have never found each other. They recognized their soulmate in our imperfections and knew that our love would create a bond that could never be broken, and that together we would make our way through life understanding those imperfections, relating to them and loving each other through it all.”
Quentin wondered what he had done to deserve someone who loved him the way Eliot did. He knew that loved this man so much more than he had ever known it was possible to love anyone. (At least until they’d become parents, but that was different.) Even through the aftermath of his nightmare, he could still feel the truth in those words. Not so much about how wonderful or beautiful he was, though he knew Eliot would always believe tht he was and maybe that was all that mattered there. But the way he said their souls and hearts fit together to form their bond. IN this life and every other one, he knew he was bound to Eliot Waugh.
It that bond that finally reached out from the center of his heart and pulled him completely out of the spiral his nightmare had left him in. The knowledge that no matter what happened to him, he always had Eliot to hold him and pull him back to himself again. Just like he would do the same for Eliot whenever the man needed it. He kissed his shoulder then uncurled a little so he could pull his head up and look into his eyes. One hand reached out until he could lace their fingers together. He pulled their joined hands up so they rested between them, against their hearts. “You are the other half of me and our souls fit together. I love you…so much more than I think I can ever really express.” But he was going to spend the rest of his life trying.
He gave Quentin’s hand a squeeze. His words said it all. They were two halves that perfectly imperfectly fit together. No one else knew him like Quentin and no one else never gave up on him and always kept trying like Quentin did. “Marry me someday.” He smiled softly and pressed a tender kiss to Q’s lips. It wasn’t a proposal, but a placeholder for what he knew would happen one day. “Try to rest. I’ve got you.” Now and always.