Dylan
I don't doubt it. Your world sounds worse than most I've even read about, to be honest.
I'm going to make a suggestion and you're welcome to tell me to get lost. How about we go out, grab some ice cream, go by the Pier, maybe take some time in the fresh air. We can talk or not talk, whatever is best for you. And then maybe you can reach out to some of those here and see if they're open to talking about themselves and what it's like for them. I think you might be surprised just how human they actually are.