The rumors of my demise, as detailed by the numerous texts, missed calls, and voicemails, are overexaggerated. I'm fine. Dunno why everyone panicked. Disappearing isn't even the weirdest thing that's happened in this place this week. But it's nice to know you lot would miss me if I was gone.
I do, however, have a couple of years' worth of new memories in my head. Sorry to inform you, Ron, but the Cannons still haven't won the league. Harpies do in 2003 though. Was really a banner year for me all around.