Celandine's Chronicle (celandineb) wrote in cels_fic_haven, @ 2008-02-27 09:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | hp fic harry/severus, hp fic he plays at hazard |
HP fic: He Plays at Hazard, ch. 6: Battlements on Fire [Harry/Severus, adult]
Title: He Plays at Hazard
chapter 6, "Battlements on Fire"
Author: celandineb
Fandom: HP
Pairing: Harry/Severus
Rating: adult
Warnings: AU! The "He Plays at Hazard" series is canon-compliant through HBP only. Also, delayed orgasm.
Summary: Harry wants to sleep with Severus, but he'll take what he can get.
Note: This was intended to be a teenyfic for dementordelta; cruisedirector asked for Snarry, prompt "I will if you will." It turned into something rather more substantial and became part of a series I didn't quite expect to return to. The chapter title is from the song "Fortress Around Your Heart" by Sting.
"Severus." The name still felt odd on Harry's tongue. Snape had been staying in Grimmauld Place for a fortnight now; he had chosen a room for himself – not the one that had belonged to Sirius – and had moved in most of his personal belongings, although Harry knew that a number of his books still waited at Spinner's End.
They had spent most of those days in each other's company. Sometimes they talked, sometimes there was a silence that was less uncomfortable than Harry would ever have expected. Tonight had been one of the quiet evenings, each of them reading at opposite ends of the large sofa. Snape had a volume on the magical properties of wild fungus, while Harry was rather more desultorily skimming through the latest issue of Which Broomstick.
"Severus," he repeated.
Closing his book, but leaving one finger between the pages, Snape looked up. "What is it?"
"Can I sleep with you tonight?"
Snape arched an eyebrow. "What else have we been doing for the past two weeks?"
"Not have sex. I mean, I want to do that, too, but I mean, can I stay in your room all night?" Harry tried not to let his expression become too beseeching. It was true, they had had sex every night since the first, and most of the days as well. Just the memory of it had Harry's cock springing to life and ready for another performance, but they had not slept, just slept, all night in the same bed since the very first time – which had been followed by Weasley twins' unexpected morning visit.
"Why?" Snape's expression was closed off. "I prefer to sleep alone. It has no reflection on you, I assure you."
"Are you worried that you'll snore? Or that I will? No one at Hogwarts ever said that I did, except maybe when I had a cold. If you do, well, I got used to Neville; you wouldn't believe the sounds he made. And both of our beds are plenty big enough."
"Somehow I find myself unsurprised that Longbottom caused a nightly disturbance," Snape sniffed. "But I still prefer my solitude at night."
"But why?" Harry wanted to know. He had liked waking up next to Snape the one time it had happened, and he hadn't thought that Snape had disliked the experience either. "We did it once, why not again?"
"Why is this so important to you?" Snape countered.
The question made Harry blink. "Because that's what you're supposed to do if you're living with someone?"
Snape curled his lip. "You, Harry? Suggesting that some unspoken, assumed rule should be obeyed unthinkingly?" He reached for the strip of leather he used as a bookmark and slid it between the pages of his book, setting it aside and turning to face Harry more fully. "I confess myself surprised."
"It isn't just that," Harry said. He hesitated, trying to find a way to put his feelings into words. Snape waited, dark eyes never leaving Harry's face.
At last Harry said, "You know how I was brought up by my aunt and uncle, before I came to Hogwarts, right? Dumbledore must have told you something, and I expect you learned more from when you tried to teach me Occlumency."
Snape nodded.
"I slept in the cupboard under the stairs for my entire childhood. Alone. I didn't even hear rats scuttling about; Aunt Petunia was too good a housekeeper for that. And spiders were quiet." Harry was able to laugh about it now, a little, but quickly became serious again.
"It wasn't a very nice childhood. I always knew that I was not wanted, not... not loved." He bit his lip.
A hint of pink stained Snape's cheeks. "Go on."
"Then I came to Hogwarts, and everything was different. For the first time in my life I had friends. Ron especially, but the other boys too. I felt like I belonged, in that dormitory."
"So you associate sleeping alone with a lack of... affection."
"Yeah. I hadn't ever really thought about it before, but that's why I want to sleep with you." Harry swallowed and looked down.
"I see." Snape's rich voice was thoughtful.
"So – are you willing?"
"My sleeping experiences are not the same as yours, Harry."
"So explain them to me. I did promise you that I would do whatever you wanted, but it would be easier if I understood why you don't want this."
Snape was silent for so long that Harry thought he might refuse to speak altogether. His skin was still papery, the circles beneath his eyes like great bruises.
"There were, shall we say, unpleasant incidents when I was a student," Snape said softly at last. "I have always valued my privacy." He had clasped his hands together in his lap, and bowed his head so that Harry could only see his beaky nose through the curtain of lank dark hair.
"Is that all?" Harry asked doubtfully. "Not that it wouldn't be enough reason," he added hastily. "I just wondered."
"Some things are better left unshared." The set of Snape's jaw told Harry that it would be unwise to press him any further just now. "I am not comfortable with the idea of sleeping with anyone else in the bed on any kind of regular basis. It has nothing to do with you, and that's all I care to say on the matter."
Harry had no choice but to let it go for the moment, although the little that Snape had said made him curious. If it wasn't just bad experiences in his school days, what could have happenedto make him so reluctant on this point?
Before Snape could pick up his book again, Harry had moved down the sofa and wriggled his way into Snape's lap.
"All right. If I can't sleep with you, can we find something to occupy us for the rest of the evening?"
Snape stroked Harry's hair back from his forehead. It made Harry feel warm, safe, to have someone touch him that way; the same sort of feeling he would get from spending the night in Snape's bed, he thought, but if this was all he could have, he would take it.
"I've been thinking, Harry." Snape continued to move his hand rhythmically.
"Mm. About what?"
"You indicated to me some days ago that you would tell your friends about our... relationship."
There was a hint of distaste in the way Snape inflected the last word. Did he not want to be with Harry? No, Harry assured himself. Snape would have simply left, or refused Harry's offer in the first place, if that were so.
"Yes, I did."
"But you haven't done so yet."
"No."
"Why not?"
"I thought it would be better for both of us to wait a little while," said Harry honestly. "It's going to seem strange to an awful lot of people, and there didn't seem to be any great rush. If after a week you'd decided that you had enough of me," his throat tightened at the thought, "then I didn't want to have argued about it with Ron or whoever for no purpose. I don't think you've told anyone, either?"
Snape sniffed. "I have no one who would be interested in my affairs the way so many are in yours."
"None of the other teachers from Hogwarts? I thought that you and Professor McGonagall were friends of a sort, even if you did disagree about a lot."
"I suppose," Snape allowed. "But Minerva has a good deal more on her mind than my love life, I assure you." He had begun to run his fingers over the line of Harry's jaw, tracing the bones and then dipping down to brush the hollow of his throat. It was relaxing and stimulating at once, and Harry squirmed slightly, feeling the bulge of Snape's cock against his bum.
"Look," he said, turning so that he could meet Snape's eyes. "I'll tell my closest friends if you'll tell yours. Fair?"
"When did you have in mind?" Snape sounded wary.
"Within a week, maybe? And it needn't be in person, either, you could write letters." Harry grinned. "Actually, I think that's what I'll do to start with; write a letter explaining things to Ron and Hermione, and tell them that I'm closing off the Floo connection and keeping the house locked up for three days, so that they'll have to calm down before Ron can come in here and yell at me."
Ron was going to be shocked, that was certain. Harry was thankful that last year he had at least let Ron know that he didn't think he was totally straight, even if Ron persisted in believing that it was just some temporary phase Harry was going through. "Hermione won't be so bad as he will."
"Is there anyone else important to you, that you need to tell?"
Harry met Snape's eyes, and let him read the truth in Harry's. "No. I broke up with Ginny more than a year ago, and although at the time we both thought we'd get back together someday, that wasn't how it worked out. I don't think she thinks of me as anything more than a friend any more; she seems very happy with Justin. So it's Ron and Hermione who should know first. I'll tell everyone else later."
"Agreed, then." Snape tightened his embrace. "You tell Mister Weasley and Miss Granger, and I shall tell Minerva, and we shall see what transpires afterward."
"Now that that's settled, can we have sex?" Harry asked in his cheekiest voice, just to see the momentary shock in Snape's face before he controlled it.
"If you insist," replied Snape in his driest tones.
It was Harry's turn to pause before he realized that this was only Snape's sense of humor at work. He was learning to understand it, but it still baffled him at times. Now he put on an exaggerated expression of dismay and said, "If you don't want to..."
Snape rolled his eyes. "You're incorrigible."
"Actually," Harry said a little hesitantly, "I wondered if maybe there was anything special you wanted to do."
"Special?" Snape drew his eyebrows together.
Harry shrugged. "I've liked everything we've done, but you know I don't have all that much experience; not something that's easy to come by during a war, you know. So I didn't know if maybe there was something you liked to do, or wanted to try for that matter, that we haven't done."
With a snort, Snape said, "My tastes are not particularly exotic. Or are you trying to say that you'd like me to take charge more, in bed?"
Harry nodded, squirming a little. Then he added, "Sir."
A spark flared in Snape's eyes. "Very well." He shoved Harry gently off his lap and rose. "I think upstairs, in your room."
Harry knew the choice of location was so that Snape would be able to leave and sleep in his own room when he chose, but he didn't object, too eager at the thought of Snape taking control. He tugged at Snape's hand to hurry them upstairs.
He expected that Snape would tell him exactly what to do from the moment that they reached Harry's room, but instead Snape began the way they mostly had done, undressing and quickly tumbling onto the bed. He seemed less uncomfortable now than he had the first few days with letting Harry see him naked, gaunt and battered though his body was.
"Aren't you going to tell me what to do?" said Harry rather plaintively after they had lain kissing for a few moments, legs interlaced and hips rocking their cocks together.
Snape gave a low chuckle. "Actually, I'm going to tell you what not to do. You're not to come until I say that you may."
"Oh," said Harry blankly.
"I think you will find that it can in fact be quite gratifying to be denied," Snape told him. He nuzzled his way down Harry's body to his erect and straining cock, taking it into his mouth, but letting go again before Harry could properly enjoy the sensation. His fingertips skimmed over Harry's sac, feeling the shape of each of his bollocks in turn. Harry heard himself make – surely that wasn't a whimper coming from his throat?
Snape exhaled a warm breath over the damp head of Harry's prick, licked the length once again, and then abandoned it in order to suckle on his bollocks. His clever fingers were now brushing over the skin below, prodding gently at Harry's arse. Harry hadn't heard him cast a lubrication charm, but he must have done, because one fingertip, no, two, Harry could feel them both, slid inside without resistance, probing. The feel of having Snape inside him made Harry gasp. Fingers might in theory seem less intimate than a cock, but Snape's face was down there too; he was watching Harry now, no longer tonguing him, just watching as his fingers moved in and out, as Harry drew his knees up to open himself further for Snape.
Unthinkingly he reached for his cock. When Snape saw Harry's hand moving, though, he stopped, warning, "Remember, not until I tell you." Harry swallowed. He wanted to beg Snape to stop teasing him, to go ahead and fuck him, but he couldn't complain when Snape was giving him exactly what he'd asked for. He put his hands to his sides instead, clenching them in the bed sheets, and Snape nodded approvingly from between Harry's thighs, once again licking along Harry's cock in approbation.
Moment by moment Harry's need to come increased as Snape toyed with him, sometimes kissing, sometimes nipping at the tender skin of his thighs, sometimes doing nothing but move his fingers steadily in and out of Harry's arsehole. Harry had never before thought that could feel so good for so long; he had naturally tended to focus on his cock, but now Snape was largely ignoring it, drawing out Harry's pleasure in very different ways.
Harry was so distracted by how Snape was making him feel that he didn't realize that he had begun to mutter Snape's name over and over, "Severus" interspersed with "please" and "oh god" and "yes" – but when Snape suddenly stopped, leaving Harry writhing on the brink of orgasm, he realized that his last words had been, "Love you."
Harry swallowed and lifted his head, opening his eyes to meet Snape's sharp stare.
"Did you mean that?" Snape demanded.
Mutely, Harry nodded, and watched Snape's face turn red. With a little shake of his head, he took hold of Harry's cock and said in a rasping voice, "You may come," before sucking at him almost savagely.
The unexpectedness of it was such a shock that Harry cried out as his body responded immediately, feeling himself as deep into Snape as Snape was into him. He was known, possessor and possessed at once, and that thought was both joyous and terrifying. He didn't know if Snape felt the same; he hoped so, but he knew better than to expect to hear any such admission from Snape's lips, certainly not yet.
Limp from both self-revelation and orgasm, Harry nevertheless managed to push himself up enough to reach for Snape, saying, "I... sir, I... please. I want you. I need you to come inside me. Severus."
Snape's throat worked. He gave a single nod, pushing himself up and positioning himself over Harry, sliding smoothly inside him and beginning to thrust rapidly. His face was contorted and Harry touched his cheek with careful fingers. It was only a moment before Snape stilled, quivering, his lips parting in a gasp as he came. He withdrew and Harry lowered his legs to let Snape roll off to one side in silence.
Harry was almost afraid to speak. He lay waiting for Snape to say something, wincing a little. His arse was sore, but the thought that his inadvertent confession might have been more than Snape wanted to hear hurt more.
Snape's breathing quieted, but he lay without a word, without even moving, the edges of their bodies barely touching, Harry had nearly dozed off when Snape finally spoke, his words almost inaudible.
"You are more than I deserve."
Before Harry pulled himself awake enough to react, Snape had slid from the bed and disappeared to his own room.
chs. 1-3 / chs. 4-5 / ch. 6 / ch. 7 / ch. 8 / ch. 9 / ch. 10