Dr. Reid, I thought this would hurt more than it does. I thought when he left that my life was over, that I had no reason to keep breathing. I was wrong, and you were right. The pain has faded every day, and I know that he'll never come back here, or write me, or come for me. So he was not the true Beast I thought he was, just a man in the shape of one. Are they all this way then? Was my father? I would accept that explanation except that it leads me to ask where the true Beast is, then. Inside my head? No, because I hear Him, have heard Him all my life. I know He's real, but He can't find me now, not right now.
I am sleeping more, and I ate lunch today.
There are new bruises every morning. Do I do them to myself? Do you know? I wake up with new wounds, and I never know where they are from. I wish I did know. Some of them are very tender.
I am getting rid of the letters I wrote for Wolf tonight, and I will never write him another one. He is elsewhere now, and the walls have gone quiet for the time being; I am just grateful for that, because even though I know it will start again, right now it is silent and I feel safe.