Eithne adjusted her stance when Hansa started to speak. She wasn't going to strike while he was talking to the teacher. It's not that he was distracted, it's that she was. He wasn't sleeping? She shouldn't have cared after everything or maybe she should have cared more. She hadn't been sleeping at all, or at least restful slumber, save the night after they got out of Hathrida. She'd slept like the dead then, collapsed from both exhaustion and emotional shutdown. It was because of them. Eragos whom had placed her in the other party, as well as crushed her with words, and Hansa who had finally caused her to crumble into tears before she stalked away and went to bed. She was trying to keep a straight face about all of that.
It was easier to swing the sword than to conceal her emotions right now.
She readied herself for the next attack, but didn't deliver because she was listening to Eragos. Did he have any idea how disarming his words could be? He spoke so easily of things but did he know how that made her feel? How he'd made her feel before? She hadn't told him, she'd moved on, and perhaps it was just as much her fault as it was his that they couldn't be around each other without some kind of hard silence that wasn't comfortable anymore. Just as much to blame. Eithne didn't like that. She didn't want to think she was as much at fault as he was. It wasn't fair to shift or even out the blame for this. He'd started it. He'd finished it. She was the one left behind. And now he expected some easy answer from her?
There weren't any easy answers for his question. She saw nothing because she wore herself out before she slept. She hadn't slept correctly since before Eragos arrived in Oisea. She couldn't sleep in Hathrida, even when it wasn't her watch. She was constantly eyed by Hansa, or listening for sounds of Grey Riders. She closed her eyes a moment and let a breath slowly leave her before taking a deep breath. What to say to him. Lie to him? Act like everything was fine and avoid it for another round of silence and cold feelings? How long could she keep herself going on that/ How long could she push him away.
She could have screamed at him, taken it a wrong way, or perhaps the right way.. tell him that if her death haunted him so badly then maybe he shouldn't have sent her off with Vargis, Hansa, and Sleeping Tiger in the first place. Eithne lowered her blade, stepping out of her striking stance, she let go of avoiding it, she'd never get anywhere if she continued to do it.
"I wear myself out past the point of exhaustion just so I can pass out." Eithne lowered the blade to her side but didn't move to be closer to him. "Ever since Oisea. Because I'm angry with you. What you said to me there," She took a deep breath. "You don't even realize. You hurt me so much there. And ever since then I haven't been able to close my eyes, I haven't been able to take one moment to myself without thinking about everything you told me there. Every negative thing you said about me. I've just heard it over and over again. I'm so angry with you. And I'm angry with myself because I can't hate you! If I could hate you at least then I could get over that." Eithne gripped the hilt tighter again. Maybe that hurt him to know that, but they'd both gone on long enough without saying anything to each other.
She wasn't sure how much further it'd be before they moved past this, but at least they weren't at a standstill anymore.