Oh God Oh God We're All Gonna Die?

Dawn came over yesterday. Her, Tara, Sol, and I all had a pseudoy-slumber party last night. We rented a couple of chick flicks and bought a whole bunch of snacks and camped out on the floor of me and Tara's suite.

My sister was pretty distant. She is not the same as the sister that I knew. But, small steps. At least she came and she's trying to make an effort to get to know me. At least I can bask in that small accomplishment. As long as I didn't ask her too many questions she was fine. As soon as I asked her anything at all personal she'd clam up. She's definitely not at all trusting.

I also made the mistake of poking a little fun at Spike for being champion goody goody. She almost left after that. I made a mental note never to make fun of Spike or Wes ever again. It seems as though the three of them have formed some type of tight-nit family type thing with each other. I'm trying to be all happy sister for her and not jealous sister. That might take some getting used to also.

In the morning she didn't stick around for breakfast. Tara even offered to make us all funny shaped pancakes. She just said that she had to get to work and make sure everything was okay at home. I wanted to tell her that I'm sure that Spike and Wes could take care of everything for the time being but for once I kept quiet. I know that in order for her to work on wanting to get to know me better I'd have to let her do what she wanted to do. It sure makes me one frustrated Buffy having to wait.

The morning that Dean left the first thing I did was race to Xander's room to find out what Dean had left for me. I was really hoping for a pony but somehow I knew that Dean wasn't really the pony giving type. I opened up an envelope to find every single kind of ID that I could possibly need plus a credit card. All in the same name. It was my new identity. Did he really have to give me that name though? Honey Rider?! I was sure as soon as I read it that the very reason he hadn't given me my present himself was because he knew how badly I'd throttle him if I read that name in his presence. Xander, of course, found it fucking hysterical.

Xander'd also gotten me a cellphone. It was so cute. It was this electric blue color and the numbers lit up blue too. Tara had programmed everyone's already with everyone else's number. He also had me go out slaying with him back to the abandoned warehouses. I told him that Dean and I cleaned up pretty well but he still wanted to go over there. I was fine with it. More vamps for me.

Then I finally got to meet Cordy. The girl that my Xander had always said was the one that got away. My Xander had also said that back in the day Buffy was jealous of him being into Cordy so she made him break up with her. At least the new Xander didn't seem like the type to let this Buffy push him into anything like that. Plus, this Buffy seemed cool.

Last night I got to meet Dawn, Buffy's sister. She totally did not seem like she liked this Buffy but was curious about her. She must've definitely knew the same Buffy that I knew if she was so leary of this one. It definitely made sense. I ended up watching chick flicks with them. I normally do not, under any circumstances watch chick flicks. But I didn't have anything else to do. Pretty Woman wasn't that bad but I left half way through Beaches. If I had to hear Bette Midler sing Wind Beneath My Wings one more time I thought my ears were going to start bleeding. So I went back to my room and took a bath and tried not to think about you know who.

Speaking of you know who I picked up my phone and walked out onto the balcony. I flipped through the phone book until I found his name. It's not like there was an abundance of numbers in the book it's just a new phone. I hit send and expected to leave a voice mail. There's no way he was going to answer.