Peter "so fucking done" Pettigrew (somanyregrets) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2009-06-30 22:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! [1980-06] june, peter pettigrew |
Who: Peter Pettigrew
What: This was easier.
When: June 30; Evening
Why: The Rehabilitation Centre
Rating/Warnings: Double Crossing Rattiness
Status: Narrative; Complete
It was easier to think. It was easier to breathe. It was easier to just be. Peter still wasn't sure exactly how long he had been here, but he knew that with each passing day the burden that was settled on his shoulders felt just a little less. He didn't know what was going on outside the four walls that he was confined in, but he knew that at the moment, he didn't really care. He was giving them what they wanted when they asked for it, and when he did, they left him alone. Peter had been so tired for so very long but not now. Now he felt renewed, the energy of having nothing to worry about coursing through his system.
Sure, there were his friends. There was his family. He thought about them, occasionally, how they would react if they knew what he had been doing for the sake of his own sanity, what he had been doing to try and help, to try and end this. But it didn't matter, did it? No. They hadn't come for him. They hadn't worried. There had been no word, no sign of anything. He was sure he would have known about it by now if there was. They would have told him. They'd been so good to him here, listened to what he had to say, treated him as though he mattered for once. How could they have not have told him if something had come up?
Leaning back against the wall, eyes tipped towards the ceiling, Peter realized that he didn't even mind being in a cage. He'd been in a cage all his life, confined by his own lack of self-worth, his reliance of what other people thought of him, the bones that they had been willing to throw. But right now, he felt more free than he had in a long time. He'd been given his life back. Free from all of the mess that a Cause created.