Marlene Lupin is plotting her revenge (on_the_wall) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2009-03-08 18:38:00 |
|
|||
Someone must've cleaned Marlene's hands up while she wasn't paying attention. Smashing a glass vase with her bare hands perhaps had not been the best idea, but she wasn't bleeding anymore. Everything seemed fuzzy. The others were there, sitting around, crying and talking -- it looked like they were talking, at least. Paying attention took too much effort, and Marlene didn't care. They couldn't just make her stay here. What was she supposed to do? Sit there and dwell and mourn and know that Remus wasn't coming back? Marius was still out there. He wasn't going to stop killing people. It'd been his fault that Agnes had died, and now it was his fault again that Remus was dead. He wasn't going to keep taking people from her. She barely had anyone left to lose. Marlene pulled herself up out of the couch, wand in hand, moving like a sleepwalker towards the door. She didn't care anymore if she didn't come back from this. Even if she died in the process, at least she would have taken a chance toward making sure this never happened again. Lily's eyes were red, and they burned from staring at Marlene and trying to be calm. She knew that if she could not watch her friend, could not keep a constant vigil and ensure that she stayed at Hogwarts -- she would lose her. And so, when Marlene stood, so did Lily. Lily walked close behind her, her wand constantly at the ready. This wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Remus shouldn't be dead. Lily didn't want to believe it, wanted to wait until she saw his body and felt the lack of a pulse that he was dead. But the longer she stared at the ashes on the floor, the longer they waited, and the more she looked at Remus's wedding ring the more she knew that she had seen the quiet, kind man for the last time. Remus. Marlene's husband. Lily swallowed and watched Marlene's uneven steps. "Hey," she said softy. "Where are you going?" It was likely expecting too much to hope that the others would just let her walk out of the room unnoticed. Marlene was almost surprised that it was Lily who'd followed her, rather than one of the guys. They were a lot bigger than Lily was, and would probably make it harder for Marlene to take off. Then again, Lily was pregnant, and Marlene couldn't bring herself to hex a pregnant woman, especially not her best friend. "I'm going to the bathroom," Marlene replied, her voice a distracted monotone as she continued walking in a daze away from the others, not bothering to stop and turn toward Lily to answer her question. "I can still wipe myself, I promise." "I'm not leaving you," Lily said. She kept walking, following her as fast as she could move. Her stomach seemed to swell greater every day, but she was still moving well enough. Lily wiped her eyes with her left hand, her wand always ready to stun Marlene if she made a sudden movement. She didn't like that Marlene moved as though she were in a dream. But the only other option was probably that Marlene would start screaming, or fighting, or threatening to run away. And so Lily accepted that her friend was in a sort of a fog, and wanted to be at her side to guide her through it the best she could. But Lily felt inadequate; everyone had undergone great loss over the past year, but Marlene had lost even more than Lily had. It wasn't fair, but she didn't know how to make things better. Silently, Marlene was planning on doing all those things. She wanted to scream, to fight, to run away, but there was no way that she'd be able to manage with everyone hovering around her. She knew Lily had her wand trained on her, as much as she tried to hide it. "You should go be with James. One of his best friends just died. He'll need you right now," she informed Lily quietly, as if she wasn't already aware. Still. They needed each other. They had each other, and the baby was on the way. They still had something to live for. Marlene didn't want to stay connected to anything or anyone else anymore: it just left more behind to lose. "I'm going to go in and use the toilet now," she said as the two neared the lavatory door, praying that Lily would just wait outside while Marlene tried to remember if there'd been any secret escape passages through this room on the map that Remus had led her around with only two days earlier. "James will be fine without me right now," Lily said. She didn't even look at him, she wasn't willing to risk it right now. She knew that whether or not James did want her at his side he would have to wait. He'd understand. Marlene was priority right now, above everything and everyone else. "I'm going with you," Lily said. She set her mouth in a firm line. "And this isn't up for discussion." Marlene finally turned to look at Lily for the first time, staring back at her, jaw set. She didn't want to discuss it? Fine. She wouldn't discuss it then. But she wasn't coming in the bloody stall with her, for fucks sake. Marlene moved into the bathroom, shutting and locking the stall door behind her the second she'd slipped inside, just glaring at the hinges for a few moments, daring Lily to even try hexing the door open. After a few seconds, she sat down sigh a sigh, buring her face in her hands. She needed to think, to figure out what she was going to do and how in Merlin's name she was going to get out of the school to do it. "You can leave now; I'm obviously here," her muffled voice grumbled at Lily from behind the door. She peeked at the gap under the door, watching and waiting for Lily's feet to move. If they didn't, she'd just have to figure something else out. Lily leaned against the wall, relaxing for just a second. She tried to take deep breaths, trying to come to terms with the fact that Remus was dead, that he wasn't coming back. Unless... She wanted to keep grabbing at chances, gripping at straws and trying to hold them. But he would have been back by now. Lily keep her wand up, rubbing her belly with her free hand. "I'm not going anywhere," Lily said. "I'm staying with you." And even though she had wanted the cottage to stop being so crowded, she suddenly couldn't imagine letting Marlene stay here. "And I think you should stay with us tonight." James could sleep with Sirius. She'd stay with Marlene. And she'd stay up with her all night if she had to. Marlene thought it over for a second. If she did agree to let Lily bring her with her back to the house that she and James shared, she'd be able to apparate straight out of there. The anti-apparition magic that surrounded Hogwarts's grounds didn't apply there. That was more wasted time, though. "I want to stay here," Marlene replied quietly. She didn't want to bring all of this back to the house with her, even if she was planning on leaving almost immediately after. She didn't want to leave the dogs with them either -- Hagrid, at least, could take care of them at the school. And going back to the cottege would put her around more people who would get hurt if Marius had made Remus "talk" before he'd finally finished him off. Oh god -- that was a thought that hadn't dawned on Marlene yet: there'd been the ashes, the ring, the finished product and the result of an attack, but she hadn't thought at all about how things had gotten to that point. How much had it hurt before Remus had finally died? What had Marius done to him before he'd finally killed him? Had he still been alive while the whole transition from Remus to what had been in the vase... And with that, it was very lucky that Marlene was already sitting by a toilet as she slid to the floor and twisted onto her knees, losing everything she'd eaten for breakfast. Lily didn't waste a second getting the door open and was on her knees next to Marlene, albeit awkwardly twisted to accommodate her belly. "Hey, hey," she said gently, pulling her hair out of her face and holding it for her. "Marlene, hey..." She rubbed her back with one hand, swallowing, her eyes filling with tears. She couldn't even imagine the pain that Marlene was going through. Lily choked back her tears the best she could, not wanting to add to Marlene's pain. Once Marlene was finished, she rested her head against the edge of the bowl, sniffing back tears and trying to cough away the taste. God, she was disgusting at the moment, and didn't want to even deal with herself anymore, let alone force herself on anyone else's company. Gently pushing Lily's hand away from where it was holding her hair back, Marlene sat up on her knees, sitting there silently for moment as the toilet flushed. "I'm alright," she tried to assure her, Marlene's voice breaking slightly as she did so. And then, moving incredibly suddenly, dropped down to the floor of the restroom stall and rolled over to the next one, pulling herself up to her feet in a flash and booking it toward the bathroom door to escape back out into the hallway, her wand back in her hand. Lily groaned as she put her hands on the toilet to help hoist herself up. She fumbled for her wand and waddled for a second before she got up to speed, rushing forward and following Marlene. "Wait for me, please," she said. "Let me get you some water, something. Alright?" She didn't like the way Marlene was ditching her. She didn't want to be the one watching her when she left. It wasn't safe. "Slow down, please Marlene," she said. She could only see her back. Marlene didn't plan on slowing down. She didn't want to give anyone else the chance to catch up with her -- her mind was made up, she was going through with this, and everything would be easier once Marius was dead. Marius and his horrible pet werebitch. She continued sprinting down the hallway as fast as she could, absolutely using the fact that Lily was pregnant and couldn't come after her as quickly to her advantage. It was unfair of her, definitely, but this was definitely not a normal situation, and Marlene couldn't even begin to think about how hard this was for everyone else. All she could think of was the fact that Remus was dead, and Marius had done it. That was all there was left, and she had every intention of destroying that until there was nothing left at all. "STUPEFY!" Lily yelled. There was no way she was even going to chance it. She hobbled over to Marlene, looking furious that she had tried to leave, and yet understanding that she would have done exactly the same thing if it had been James instead of Remus. She hugged Marlene's frozen body, still frowning. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "But I had to do it." |