tabitha pryce is a cougar. (savaged) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2009-03-08 05:35:00 |
|
|||
No. No. She couldn't do this. Tabitha stared at the new entry Fenrir had written and felt sick and alone. Is this what she would have to do? Would she have to tell the truth? It was no one's business what happened. Everything she had to go through. None of them deserved to know -- NONE OF THEM. But what else could she do? If she didn't go through with this, would she have to stay in hiding forever? To make matters worse, she had no one to talk to; Aaron was gone. The only person she ever felt comfortable showing weakness around. The only person she would let herself cry in front of. Who did she have now? Tabitha would not even allow herself to show weakness in front of Marius, who has grown to become such a close friend. Suddenly, she found herself trapped in a corner by her own actions. Running away wasn't an option, was it? They wouldn't let a rogue werewolf go, not when she was supposed to still be in Azkaban. She knew they wouldn't. Even though she was a werewolf, even after everything she had accomplished for them... she was, in the end, still without magic. Someone they all looked down on. Damn it. What could she do? Tabitha hugged her knees to her chest, sitting alone in a corner of her tent, staring darkly at the flaps leading outside. Would things really be better after she did this? Could she last, pretending to repent for the things she had done, pretending to be someone else? It was already starting. They were changing her. After that prison, nothing seemed the same anymore. The others had helped her clean up; nice clothes, washed and brushed hair... what were they doing to her? Was this what she wanted? She wasn't so sure she knew anymore. Freedom seemed just out of reach of her grasp, and now that it was so close... Tabitha didn't know what she would do with such freedom. She touched the fabric of the tent that sheltered her, artificial and fake. Suddenly wishing to be away from the campsite, she pushed herself up and crawled out of her tent, standing up. She ignored everyone else at the camp as she walked, the angry look on her face twisted and savage enough to make most of them think twice about approaching her. She walked and walked until she couldn't even smell them anymore, until nothing but the trees and the wildlife and the grass were the only things that she could scent. Nothing that could talk to her. She would have to do this, to make this sacrifice. Who knows? Maybe it wouldn't be so terrible, whatever they had planned for Fenrir's army. Whatever they had planned for her. Maybe she wouldn't hate it. If she did... well, she would worry about that if the time came. For now, Tabitha supposed there was nothing else she could do but follow Fenrir's lead. That was all there was anymore. Just Fenrir, Ciara... and Marius. They were the three closest to her. Could she enjoy life without Aaron? She didn't know the answer to that, either. There were so many things she felt uncertain about now, many thinks she thought she knew before... so many things she was beginning to question. She used to hate wizards, all of them -- after all, they were the ones that shunned a curse they created. They were the ones who did this to her. Fenrir was easy to accept; he was like her, a werewolf shunned by society even though he was a wizard. But now there were wizards like Marius in her life that she greatly enjoyed the company of, and found herself desiring magic of her own. For someone who wished so desperately never to change, it was far too late. She had already changed. |