remus lupin is finally at peace. (moonstricken) wrote in blurred_lines, @ 2009-01-11 20:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! [1980-01] january, james potter, marlene lupin (née mckinnon), remus lupin |
Who: Remus Lupin, James Potter, Marlene Lupin.
What: The full moon is rough on Remus and James.
When: January's full moon.
Where: The shed behind the safehouse, then to James and Lily's place.
Status: Complete.
Rating: PG-13.
Remus had told all of the guys to buzz off for the moon, but since when had James ever cared what a werewolf wanted for the full moon? Pretty much never. So 5 minutes before the moon should rise, James popped into the shed where Remus was waiting. "Tell me to leave," James said, "And you might as well be talking to the fucking wall. I don't know why you don't like me anymore, but it doesn't matter. I'm not gonna let you chew off your foot because you're stubborn," he insisted, transforming into Prongs before Remus could get in a word to dissuade him. Out of habit, Remus immediately fumbled for his wand as soon as James apparated in, startled that there was someone else in the shack when he had made it clear that he wanted to be alone. But before he could find his wand, he realised the intruder was just James -- although he was tempted to still grab his wand anyway to force James to leave. But there wasn't enough time for that; Remus could already feel the pull of the moon in his bones, sweating and feeling ill with the anticipation for what he knew was coming. Even so, he managed to growl out an angry, frustrated, "James, you are such a --" but whatever James was, Remus couldn't say, his body seizing up as the change began to overtake his body, and nearly biting his own tongue. It was always the fur that grew in first, making his skin itch, a false sense of security that used to trick him into thinking that, hey, maybe this won't be so bad this time. But it always was; how could shifting bones be anything but painful? His nails thickened and darkened into sharp, razor-like claws, his tail-bone elongated, thick fur sprouting across the newly formed tail. Remus' ribcage barrelled out, the joints of his arms and legs shifting to accommodate walking on four legs instead of two. His ears grew longer, pointed, shifting to the top of his head, which flattened even as his face began to push outward to form a muzzle. His teeth grew longer and sharper, and all the while he was screaming, clawing at his own body as if trying to tear off his own skin to release the monster that waited within him. Before long, his screams no longer sounded human at all -- nothing but pained, canine-like cries. When it was over, Moony forced himself up to his feet, the thick pads on his paws protecting them from the hard surface of the shack below. That was definitely the reason James had waited until the very last minute to slip into the shed. He knew Remus would protest, but at a certain point, there was nothing he would be able to do about it. Still-- Remus in a bad mood could be harder to handle, and Remus after a stressful month could be harder to handle, and Remus without Sirius could be harder to handle... so... this might not have been the most genius idea he had ever had. The transformation appeared as painful as it ever was. It was painful just to watch and James couldn't begin to imagine how terrible it would be to go through month after month. Remus stumbled to his feet, adjusting to his new body and the hair on James's neck stood on end. As an animal his instincts did this every time. Run. Run. Run. Danger! Run. RUN IDIOT DEER LEGS. But James forced himself to stand his ground. He lowered his antlers toward the newly transformed werewolf just in case. It wasn't aggressive, or it wasn't meant to be, but if Remus leapt toward him he didn't want to leave his neck exposed. Or any piece of himself exposed for that matter. He stamped the floor lightly, nervous. It was hard to fidget as a stag but James had his ways. He sniffed. Hey there Moony. Remember me? He wished that he thought that would matter. The wolf remembered the stag -- he was pack, and always welcome. But Moony was agitated, more so than usual at the presence of the stag, and his lips curled back to flash sharp fangs threateningly at Prongs. Where were the dog and the rat? Ears pressed back flat against his head, Moony sniffed around the new shack he had never been in before. New smells, no nature -- no dirt or grass beneath his paws, no trees, and the air that filtered through was stale. It made him feel trapped -- and he couldn't smell Padfoot anywhere. An angry growl rumbled in his chest, turning back to face Prongs again, teeth once more bared as he started to circle around the stag. He didn't want to be in here. Right. Angry werewolf? Check. Stag with a death wish? Check. Unfamiliar place to agitate the shit out of the angry werewolf? Check. Everything was perfect. The bared teeth certainly added to the atmosphere of the place as James took an unconscious step backwards. Moony looked pissed. He stamped his foot apologetically. It wasn't his fault that Remus had told Sirius to stay away. But there was no way to reason with Moony and so James simply stood there, antlers down to protect himself, and a slightly annoyed expression. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered why he put himself through this month after month, but the answer was clear. Remus was his friend and he needed him. That didn't keep him from giving a fierce shake of his antlers though. Back off, wolf. These things are dangerous. Animal language, though unspoken, at least conveyed messages a little more clearly. Bared teeth and waving antlers were natures way of saying "Get the fuck out of my personal space" but unfortunately the shed was confining them both regardless. The first thing Moony did, attention turned away from Prongs once again, was claw viciously at the edges of the shack, trying to dig his way out; he pulled up chips of wood, but could not create a hole small enough that even Wormtail could fit through. After that, he started pacing around the shack, alternating between panting and growling. He threw his heavy body at the door, trying to break it down, but it would not budge -- all the spells Caradoc had placed on the shack held true. The concept of such spells were beyond the werewolf's simple mind, though, and the lingering, faint smell that humans had once been in this shack was getting to him. He was hungry, starving -- where were the humans now? Were they far? If he could just get out maybe he could reach them, rip them and tear them and taste their blood... but no matter what he did, he was unable to escape the confines of the shack. And so it was that Moony turned his attention back to Prongs. It was just the pair of them, the wolf and the stag, and no one else. He did not hesitate to lunge at the stag, jaws wide and snarling, saliva dripping from the hungry maw as he tried to get around the antlers to sink teeth into the soft side of the stag's body. It wasn't the first time he had grappled with his stag packmate, though, and he knew Prongs wouldn't let it be so easy. He was angry at the stag, and he didn't know why, but why would a creature of instincts question it? James watched warily as Moony sniffed around the shed, scratching and banging to get out. His stag nose could smell the remnants of humans here, Caradoc-- James-- and even Remus and he imagined Moony was smelling the same thing and considering exactly how long it would take him to snap through the human bones and enjoy a warm dinner. Even though he didn't take his eyes off of Moony he wasn't expecting the sudden lunge. It backed him up a foot and his butt hit the wall. This was more aggressive than usual and James couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with the fight they were having outside these walls. He shook his antlers hard to knock Remus back and charged him, stomping his hooves to tell him to knock it off. Moony was strong, but James was massive. He charged again a few steps forward. Back up, Moony. The shed vibrated around them with the force of the blows from both Moony and Prongs. James had no doubt Caradoc would have made this place nearly indestructible, but still, he tried to keep his antlers away from the walls. Moony was having none of it; in his mind, he was the one to call the shots in this pack. He backed away to avoid Prongs' antlers, once again feeling trapped when he backed up into the wall on the opposite side of the shack. Cornered, he snarled, doing his best to make himself look intimidating; his body was rigid and his tail was held high, his posture and confidence giving off a message saying, no, I'M the boss! He lunged for Prongs again, right into the thick of the antlers, grabbing onto one of them with his jaws; he twisted and jerked with his head, attempting to pull him off his hooves to the ground. Oh for the love of fucking fuck. James understood what the posturing meant, but it wasn't as if he could roll over and play dead to the packleader at this point. Not if he wanted to keep meat on his bones. And so as Moony planted himself face first into Prong's antlers, Prongs did the only other offencive move he really had. He bit. The closest piece of Moony to Prongs's mouth was his tail, and so that's what Prongs clamped down on as he reared up with his front legs to knock Moony away. If he'd stop attacking for even a minute, James would be happy to lower his head and let the wolf have his pack leader status, but not at the cost of getting eaten. Back. Up. The knock he gave to Remus this time wasn't a challenge, it was a threat. Back off. The sudden pain that shot through his tail from the bite was enough of a shock that Moony released his grip on Prongs' antlers with a startled yelp. He scrambled to keep from falling, claws slipping across the stag's muzzle as he fell on his back on the hard wood floor of the shack. He immediately rolled over to all fours, and it was clear that he was ignoring Prongs' threats -- if Remus had any control over the werewolf's body, he might have had a little more sense in him, but as it were, it was the wolf's mind in charge of everything. And the wolf wanted to continue relentlessly attacking the stag. He snapped his jaws at Prongs' ankles, crawling in swiftly and crouching low in an attempt to avoid swipes from Prongs' antlers. Prongs jumped back. His face was bloody and the coppery smell of it flared in his nostrils. Moony was trying to eat him. Or bleed him. Whatever it was, it wasn't going to happen and Prongs full on charged Moony as the wolf returned for another round. This time he didn't hold back and put all his weight behind the hits. Remus wasn't likely to feel any worse with this tomorrow than he usually did so James wasn't particularly worried about hurting him. He would keep goring to a minimum, but the knocking around was his best chance of wearing the werewolf down. Or so he thought. Again and again he defended himself from Remus's attacks, lifting his legs as Moony snapped at his ankles. He caught one between his teeth and James jumped back with all his force to free himself, kicking one of his back legs at Remus's face. Moony, unfortunately, was intent on keeping his jaws shut tightly around the ankle between his teeth -- that is, until one of Prongs' hooves struck him directly in the face. He yelped again, jerking away and crashing into the side of the cot, tipping it over. He tried to catch his breath, attempting to rub his quickly bruising eye with his paw. He was bleeding from several cuts and gashes he received from Prongs' antlers, but it wasn't enough to slow him down. He could smell blood now, and he felt so so hungry for it, but he could feel his body running out of energy. Moony pushed himself to keep going, leaping at Prongs and going after him with his claws this time. James felt bad. He hadn't meant to hurt Remus and he could smell Moony's blood mingling with his own in the air. He wasn't sure really how badly he'd be hurt if he did try to act a little more submissive, but he knew he didn't want Remus to wake up covered in blood and being more angry at James than he already was. He sank down to his knees and let Moony attack him. If it got bad... really bad... he'd fight back. Moony latched onto the back of Prongs' neck the moment he had the chance, and he dug his claws deeply into the stag's sides, as if in punishment for trying to fight back for so long. At first he bit down lightly, just barely piercing the skin, but all it took was that one taste of blood to set him off, and Moony tried to bite down as hard as he could. Fuck it all. That didn't work. As blood poured down from the new wound Moony had created James realised quite suddenly that letting Remus keep pack order at this point was going to get him killed. The werewolf was still on top of him as James through all his weight into getting himself on his feet. It moved Remus back just a little but it was enough space to get his feet up. His body was reacting largely on its own as his two front hooves reared up, one connected hard with Moony's temple. It was an accident but he hoped it would have the desired effect of at least backing him off. Moony slipped off at the sudden movement, and before he could try to pounce on him again, the stag reared up above him. Attempting to take advantage of this, he focused on Prongs' exposed stomach and made to lunge for it -- only to receive a sharp kick in the head with one of Prongs' hooves. Dazed, Moony stumbled away from him, trying to stay on his feet. He growled weakly, a small bit of blood leaking from the fresh wound on his temple and down the side of his face. The werewolf took one, two steps toward Prongs again, but his vision was blurry, and then his eyes rolled back and the werewolf collapsed to the floor, unconscious. Oh G*d, he'd killed Remus. No. No he hadn't killed Remus. He was still breathing. He'd knocked him out. He knocked him out. Of fucking fuckery buggery shit. Marlene would murder him. Sirius would murder him. No. Remus wasn't dead and James could heal him up in the morning or at least the worst of it before anyone saw him. Carefully he laid down next to the werewolf, not sleeping, and keeping a close eye on the rise and fall of his chest. He leaned in close to keep Moony warm and even licked his cheek a few times apologetically. Oh Godric's Mother's Tits, he better not be retarded after this. He had to be alright. James couldn't fathom what he would do if he'd really hurt him. It wasn't until morning when Moony finally began to stir, waking up only because the moon's hold on him was waning, his bones beginning to ache (more than they already were). The shift back into his human form was no less painful, canine cries turning into human near the end when nothing of the wolf remained but the gashes and bruises and faded scars. Remus did not try to get up; he knew he wasn't strong enough to, and he found it difficult to keep his eyes open, so he just lay there attempting not to move at all. It was one of the longest night's of James's life as he waited for Remus to return to human. As soon as the danger was past James transformed as well and immediately dropped to his knees to begin healing him up, almost frantically. "Shhhhh... Moony, it's alright, I'm here," James comforted, feeling like complete shit that most of these gashes and bruises were his. He cast a warming spell and a few cleaning spells as he healed over and over, even going back over the places he'd already healed in his guilt. "I'm just gonna heal you up a little more Moonpie and then Apparate us home," he said. So Remus wasn't thrilled with still living at the new place with James. That was where the people who cared about him were currently residing and where all the potions were so that was where he was going. He could bitch at James about it later. James would be grateful for the bitching. Bitching meant that Remus was alive and not permanently damaged from a hoof to the head. The spells were working and though Remus was still looking pale and tired, the cuts were all faint marks now and the bruises had faded. But the best he could do was take care of the marks he'd made himself. The werewolf wounds would have to heal on their own and he had plenty of them to mark up his scarred body. "Mm," was Remus' only reply. He was in no position to argue, and frankly, too exhausted and sore to care where James took him. He would have been just fine sleeping here in the shack for all Remus cared. So he allowed James to cast the healing spells, forcing himself to at least try and reach for his discarded clothes, which were... somewhere strewn about the room, but certainly not on the floor where Remus was trying to reach. "I'll get it Remus," James said immediately. They'd been doing this for ages so it wasn't hard for James to figure out what Remus was hoping for. He accio'd Remus's wand and clothes and slowly dressed him, being careful to avoid jarring his sore muscles. "I'm so sorry," he added quietly. "I don't listen to you. And I should. I'm so, so, so, so sorry," he said, not knowing if at this point Remus would understand what he was saying or not. When Remus was dressed and his wand was tucked away in his pocket, James stood and carefully picked up his best mate. Remus was light enough that it was barely an effort. He apparated the both of them to the second step and didn't put Remus down until he'd carried him to his room and smiled at Marlene as reassuringly as he could. He hadn't considered his own appearance or that he was caked in blood from head to foot, with a huge gash out of his ankle, long slices across his face and a chunk out of his neck. Marlene was never able to sleep very well on the night of the full. Between the dull ache that always crept back into where her shoulder had been bitten to the new paranoia over Greyback and the Shebeast getting released from Azkaban, Marlene had finally decided to stop even trying to sleep somewhere around three in the morning. She had every faith that the wards that Caradoc had cast around the shed would hold, but the fear that they might not only added to the millions of "what if"s that had coursed through her head throughout the night. She apparently had dozed off again, propped up in bed with a book on her knees, wand in one hand while the other hovered inside a bag of jerky, when the doorknob to their bedroom turned. She was wide awake, wand ready, before the door had even fully opened. Once she saw it was James with Remus, though, her expression softened from one of fear to one of concern. Neither of them looked good, James especially. She jumped up to her feet, the book tumbling off her lap and onto the floor and flicked her hand a few times to get the snack bag off of it, and rushed over to help James carry Remus over to the bed. "Hell, James, did you even bother turning into a moose this time? You look like shit," she informed him, although it was clear that her tone was more worried than rude. James nodded, too sore and tired to even chuckle. He had been so focused on Remus that he hadn't considered how crapped out he was all on his own and he practically fell into the bed as he dropped him with Marlene's help. "Nah-- it's always like this," he lied. "It's just that we heal each other up before anyone sees it. But Remus was still knocked out-- I mean tired out-- You know... werewolfed out.." he rambled. He knew it was probably in his mind but he felt like there was definitely a hoof shaped bruise glaring at him angrily from Remus's forehead. "He should be fine though," he said. "Keep an eye on him though. I was up all night without a break so I've got to get some sleep," he mumbled. "And a shower," he added, looking at his hands for the first time and seeing the blood there. There was something about the off-handed way that James had replied "it's always like this" that made Marlene's stomach flip over funny. She swallowed hard and shrugged it off, not wanting to waste time worrying about things like that when her attention was definitely needed here. "I'll keep an eye on him," Marlene replied quietly, helping get Remus settled on the bed. "Make sure you um, take care of your neck there," she added to James, motioning to the spot on her own to show him where the damage was. If he can't feel it, she thought, deciding against the warning of "don't let Lily see you like that." He'd know that anyway. "He'll be just fine, won't you Remus?" she asked, not expecting a response as she shifted the quilt on the end of the bed to cover up the stain James had left when he'd nearly collapsed on it earlier. Marlene could take care of that later, once they were all more awake. James nodded and headed out, stopping at the door. "I really need to talk to him Mars, so when he's up, let me know, yeah?" he asked, his voice betraying the seriousness of whatever it was he wanted to say. Catching his own bleak tone he gave her a half smile which caused the bloody lines on his face to crinkle. "We're both fine. Looks a lot worse than it is," he said, refusing to let himself look in a mirror or place a hand up to feel exactly how bad his neck was until he was alone. He couldn't even feel it, which was probably a bad sign. He gave them both one last look before heading straight for the bathroom, pulling out his journal and writing to Sirius to come heal him up. Remus was barely concious -- he knew he was home now, on the bed in his room, and he could hear Marlene and James speaking, but he didn't bother trying to focus on their voices to try and understand what they were saying. He pulled his wand out of his pocket, slipping it underneath his pillow where he usually keeps it, then rolled over onto his side (wincing) to curl up, feeling grateful to be here rather than the wooden floors back in the shed. Shutting the door behind James, Marlene turned back toward Remus, leaning against the wall for a brief second before returning to bed, trying to collect her thoughts. It wasn't the first time that she'd seen Remus after the full, nor was it the worst off she'd seen him. For Merlin's sake, at least he was slightly conscious, rather than out for the five days that followed the attack at Hogwarts. More than anything, she was just relieved to have him back. The world might've been crumbling down outside, overtaken by Death Eaters and Dark Creatures, but he'd come back. She moved around to the far side of the bed, climbing in next to Remus, nuzzling up next to him as close as she dared to get when he was obviously in pain and pulling the covers up over them both. "G'night, sleepy. There's pain potion on the bedside as soon as you want it." Oh, pain potion -- that was enough to wake Remus up slightly, but when he started to think about moving, he changed his mind. He was tired enough to fall asleep while still sore, anyway; so instead, he offered Marlene a tired smile before closing his eyes again, sliding one arm around her waist, and it didn't take long at all for him to fall asleep. |