InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "nerf herder!"

James Potter (foureyedwonder) wrote in beyondthepages,
@ 2010-03-28 22:18:00

Entry tags:

!complete, 2023 08, james potter, lily evans, lily luna potter, sirius black

RP: ... Welcome Back Potter?
Characters: James Potter, LilyLu, Lily E. Potter; Sirius Black
Time/Date: 28 August 2023, early evening
Location: Godric's Hollow
Warnings/Rating: ANGST
Summary: James isn't really sure what's going on.
Status: Closed, complete-ish

It took James several seconds of blinking before he could piece together what was going on.

One of two things had just happened: either he had just Apparated to a location he had never seen before, likely splinching himself in the process (aaaand quick check to make sure everything vital had come along) or he was never touching Firewhiskey again, because clearly it played havoc with his memory. What had they done last night that had ended him up in some... random house in who knows where (though without any other ideas, he was assuming Hogsmade), without his wand and so-called mates, who had clearly abandoned him in his hour of need. When he got back to school, there would be words. There. Would. Be. Words.

Though maybe that was a slight exaggeration. Just because nothing was familiar, didn't mean that he needed to assume the worst: that they'd broken into some bloke's house in Hogsmade after sneaking into the Hogs Head and sneaking some Firewhiskey. Surely they were more responsible than...

... Right, okay, that was a stupid thought. Of course he should always assume the worst.

Not seeing his mate's anywhere close by, or anyone else for that matter, James decided to count his lucky stars, and starting to ease his way in the direction that he hoped was the exit. He'd find a way back to Hogwarts and hash out the details of what the hell had happened later - right now, he didn't want to be caught breaking in. He had enough black marks that were NOT HIS FAULT to his good name already - he didn't need to add this bizarre occurrence to the list.

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emerald_eyes
2010-03-29 05:49 am UTC (link)

He was sorry. He'd done nothing wrong, and he was sorry. It might have been amusing in some other place, some other time, when her heart wasn't cracking into a thousand pieces. "It's not your fault, love," she whispered. "This ...whatever magic's doing this doesn't seem to be terribly picky about where it plucks people from." Or who it picked up, for all that.

She closed her eyes for a moment as she tried to think ... but she couldn't. Her thoughts were jumbled and discordant and incoherent. Her mind was just full of hurt, and sad. She was certain LilyLu would tell Harry ... tell whoever else needed to know.

"He'll be pleased to see you," she said softly. "Harry. Our son. He named one of his sons after you," she murmured. "His daughter after me. His other son after Professor Dumbledore." And Severus, but she thought it best not to touch on that.

Lily regarded him, but she realized there really was nothing either of them could say, could do at this juncture. They couldn't form a relationship, reclaim their lost life. Not with a gap that big between them. So he'd move on. She'd move on.

Someday.

Maybe he'd meet someone at school ... and there was that sick feeling again. "You should ... Sirius will want to see you," she said softly. It was enough to know he was back, he was alive. She really couldn't keep this up though. Not when all she wanted to do was lie somewhere and simply let herself be broken before she started to met the pieces back together again.

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foureyedwonder
2010-03-29 06:02 am UTC (link)

He didn't really mean that he was sorry for coming back younger - he meant that he was sorry that she had to go through this pain, but he supposed she was right that neither was really his fault. Didn't stop him from feeling badly, though. He still loved her, even if there was no chance of that ever being mutual. Again.

A son. He had... a son. He ran his fingers through his hair in a familiar gesture, trying to figure out what to make of that. He really didn't know. And his son would be pleased to see him? He didn't know how to feel about that either. He... didn't feel like he'd be pleased to see him, and he wondered if that was wrong of him. Weren't parents supposed to have... special bonds with their children? Did that make him a bad father before he'd even gotten to be one? He nodded his head to Lily's statements all the same, not really able to find the words.

Seeing Sirius right now sounded... really great, and not awkward like this conversation was, and he felt horribly guilty for thinking it. She was hurting, she could probably use a friend and he was looking for an excuse to bail.

"He can wait, if you want some company," he offered quietly.

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emerald_eyes
2010-03-29 06:09 am UTC (link)

She almost managed a smile at that. She was fairly certain she'd felt her lips twitch at any rate. Company in the form of a younger version of her husband ... that wouldn't go well tonight.

So she shook her head and gently cupped his cheek. She gazed into his eyes, and even his eyes looked different. But ... he hadn't seen the war like the father of her son had. He hadn't narrowly dodged Voldemort. He hadn't lost friends.

Leaning in, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and tried not to think about how that would likely be the last time she ever would. It was over before it had begun for him. "He can't wait, James. You know that better than anyone."

This time she did manage a smile; at least Sirius would be pleased. The pair of them could go through this together, and she ... well, she'd work something out on her own.

"I'll be here though if ... you wanted to stop in later," she offered, half hoping that he wouldn't, half fearing that he would. "Go on," she said softly before she took a couple of steps back toward the guest room. Her room, for now.

She hesitated then, gazing at him. "You were a good husband, James. And a brilliant father." She bit her lower lip then and turned away, retreating to the room that wasn't hers in a time that wasn't hers, feeling more alone and adrift than she had since she'd returned.

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foureyedwonder
2010-03-29 06:28 am UTC (link)

He felt like he had let her down. He'd let someone down, at any rate, even if it was just himself. He couldn't be what she wanted, what she needed, and she'd seemed to really need it today, if her expression was any indication. And despite what she said, he did feel that Sirius could wait - it wasn't like his mate wasn't used to it at this point. And there was another fresh stab of guilt, and he'd been back from the dead for less than 10 minutes and already he was pretty sure he wanted someone to shoot him 'cause this was... way too much to take in.

"Are you sure?" he asked, but he already knew the answer to that question. He reminded her too much of what she'd lost. She didn't want to be around him right now, maybe not ever, and he was pretty sure that was what hurt the most right now. That he'd gotten so close and yet...

He closed his eyes when she told him he was a good husband. He'd always thought he'd be, if given the chance. It was nice to have confirmation though, that he did manage to grow up and achieve what he'd always wanted to. Maybe he could do it again. Maybe he could get her to change her mind, see that he could still be what she needed.

Maybe.

He stood outside her door a lot longer than was probably necessary, staring at it, vaguely hoping it would open again and someone would come out and tell him it was all some sort of joke. But he knew it wasn't going to happen.

Shaking his head slightly, trying to clear it of all this depressing nonsense, he moved up away from the angst and started toward where he thought Sirius' room was. He could really use some familiarity right about now.

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