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Claire Saunders ([info]notsofortunate) wrote in [info]beyondthepages,
@ 2010-05-20 01:33:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!complete, 2023 10, jaime davies, regulus black

RP: Non-Conforming As Can Be
Characters: Regulus, Jaime
Time/Date: 19 October 2023, eveningish time
Location: Common commons
Warnings/Rating: TBD - language warning, though
Summary: Reg's kind of losing his mind.
Status: Complete



If he was being honest with himself, he really wanted nothing more than to curl up in his room, on his bed, and just sit there for the rest of the night. He didn't want to be out in the open. But at the same time, he didn't want to be alone.

He'd sent a note to his brother. He didn't know what had possessed him to do that except for the sudden stark reality that was that he didn't have anyone else to turn to. While he didn't expect it, he had vague hopes of Sirius pulling his head out of his ass long enough to realize that Regulus was really hurting, was really scared, and to be the big brother he'd never been very good at being and give a shit but he really wasn't holding out much hope for that. He wasn't holding up much hope of a response. He was likely just confirming what Sirius already knew, really.

But a little brother was always going to hope. Even if - by some random, fucking anonmally - he was now the elder of the two of them.

He wasn't really aware of his surroundings, or doing much. He was kind of curled up on one of the couches, staring into the fire. He both wanted to talk to someone, and wanted to be left alone, and didn't want to be alone ever again.

For all he knew, all of this panic was for naught. The Dark Lord wouldn't care. He hadn't really betrayed him yet after all - maybe he could convince him that he never would. Or that it was lies. Maybe all of this panic was pointless because they were going to catch him and kill him again.

But even still. He couldn't help but feel this was only the beginning of the hell the wizarding world was about to face.


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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-20 06:24 am UTC (link)
"You'll go blind if you keep that up," Jaime offered conversationally to the wizard she didn't recognize. She wasn't sure if he was foreign or formerly dead, but she'd guess ... formerly dead because he was wearing house colors.

She didn't usually bother the common-commons, but there was something going on up in hers that was making it tense up there. Someone had written something in the journals that had Meghan six colors of flipped out, and Hugo hadn't looked any more pleased.

But no one would tell her what it was.

"So what's your name?" she pressed since that seemed to be the easiest way to discern whether he was foreign or dead. Well, formerly dead.

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-20 07:43 am UTC (link)
It took a few seconds before he realized someone was speaking to him, and he glanced up, the imprint of the fireplace still in his retina and he blinked a few times before his vision cleared enough to make out the features of the girl speaking to him.

He didn't recognize her. But that was hardly surprising. Had he not just been bemoaning the fact that he did not have anyone he knew in this school anymore?

"Regulus," he responded. He didn't give a last name because he wasn't used to having to give one - both his names, he felt, were identifiable. Or they had been, at one point. Besides, just saying 'Black' he sometimes got confused with Sirius.

He wasn't in a very chatty mood, though he wasn't inclined to drive her away either, so he simply looked up and waited to see if she was going to say anything further, or if he had to come up with something if he wanted her to stick around.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-20 02:00 pm UTC (link)
Jaime nodded slightly, but apparently 'Regulus' was all she was getting out of him. Awesome. "Jaime," she offered in the same sort of tone. It was kind of amusing though, and she wondered how long they could conduct a conversation like that, with one-word responses.

"I haven't seen you around much," she offered. "Do they make all the zombies hide out in their commons, or did you just get tired of all the green and silver and decide to come hang out where you might meet other people?"

So, she was nosy. So what?

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-21 06:19 am UTC (link)
His lip curled upwards in distaste at her words. He wasn't a zombie. He'd been lost in thought - clearly, something she never had difficulty with, since her thoughts didn't seem to have much company...

He cut off that train of thought. As comforting as verbal sparring would be right now, he really didn't feel like alienating himself by being an ass right now.

"I mostly keep to myself," he said, though he thought even she could have pieced that together on her own. "Catching up on 50 years worth of material is no easy task. And with Quidditch games all lumped into first term to accommodate the tournament..." he went to make a sweeping arm movement and his robes hitched slightly on his arm. He froze, dropping it back to his side. His mark hadn't even been close to showing, but the feeling of fabric brushing against where it sat now, faded but apparent, on his arm was enough to remind him why, exactly, he was in common commons tonight.

"I am not a zombie," he added, because he really found he couldn't let that slide. His nose even wrinkled to show his distaste. "I was simply lost in thought."

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-21 06:22 am UTC (link)
Jaime smirked. "All the undead people are zombies, whether or not they're zoned out in the middle of the commons trying to go blind by staring at the fire."

She did have to agree about the quidditch matches though. She'd never really appreciated how nice it was to have them spread across both terms rather than crammed mostly into one, with a couple at the start of the next.

It amused her to wonder how many of the teams were staying at the school over break - either to practice or to hang around with the foreign kids.

"You could get someone to tutor you, you know. Plenty of Ravenclaw girls would be, like, all over helping the zombies catch up."

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-21 06:51 am UTC (link)
He rolled his eyes at her statement, but recognized that it was foolish to argue, since she clearly was going to keep being difficult, his eyes did drift briefly back to the flames for a moment before he murmured under his breath, "If going blind is the worst thing that happens, I will consider myself lucky."

He did raise an eyebrow when she mentioned tutoring. She offered no indication of what house she was in, and he wondered for a moment if this was her way of coming on to him. "Are you offering?" he asked, uncertain how to respond to that. "Thanks, but I would really rather learn the material on my own."

He felt he learned best that way, and he really had picked up a great deal. He could mostly follow along in all of his classes now. It was just often a bit overwhelming to be aware of just how much information he had to relearn.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-21 01:13 pm UTC (link)
Jaime laughed. "God no," she said. "Not that I'm not smart enough. I just don't have the patience for it." She shrugged and watched him curiously. It had to be rough, being displaced like that. Knowing all your friends were dead, reading about what you'd done in the past if you made history books or someone's journal, or were even just listed among the casualties of war.

She didn't miss him mumbling at the fire but had no idea what he'd said so let it go. It was probably something about her, anyway.

"So what year'd they stick you in? Sixth, right? Seems to be where they're putting all the zombies even if they're older."

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-22 02:55 am UTC (link)
He raised an eyebrow, but chose not to comment on a lack of patience. It wasn't like it was a terrible failing, really. Most of the people he'd associated with when he'd been alive had a similar failing. At least she was aware of it. He simply shrugged a bit - he had plenty of patience.

"Sixth," he confirmed. "I was three quarters of the way through my seventh year upon my..." he found suddenly that he didn't know what to call it. "Sudden relocation," he decided on. "Though with all of the material I have been forced to cover, I suppose I should be grateful that I was not placed back in first." He said that in a tone that indicated he was not grateful for the slight at all - he would have much rather been placed at the beginning of seventh, if he was going to be placed anywhere.

Truthfully, he would have preferred not going back to school at all, but with Grimmauld Place hardly appropriate for living at the time of his return, it had seemed the only option.

"Was your sixth year class unpopulated, or do you suppose they did not trust us to catch up on the material so quickly?" he shrugged his shoulder. "It was their misjudgment, either way. I don't imagine my brother and his friends are too far behind me, in terms of this catch-up game. He is a Black, after all, even if he is a fool."

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-22 05:55 am UTC (link)
"One of the ones who came back was seventh year, too, and he's in sixth. Maybe they just randomly decided. Or because it's not your OWL year or your NEWT year and it's not fourth year. So you get to catch up without the pressure of tests."

Jaime shrugged.

"So you're really ... like caught up? Or catching up quick? Did not all that much change? I mean, I guess the basics are the same, but there were lots of advances in some fields and ..." Jaime waved one hand absently.

"Are you having an okay time adjusting to being here? I mean, with no one you know 'cept your brother and the other people who came back? And the blokes on the quidditch team?"

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-22 06:38 am UTC (link)
"Remus," Regulus nodded. He paid attention, even if people didn't realize it. Paying attention and stalking were similar things after all, and he hadn't hurt anyone. He did nod to her assessment that it was right in the middle of testing years. He just thought that they'd underestimated the cleverness of the students they were letting in to their year.

"Potions is obviously the biggest concern," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "And advancements and alterations in wand technique and what have you. Various spells and pronunciation changes. But the basic spells and things hardly varied in 50 years," he shrugged again. "History was surprisingly the easiest to catch up on. It seems to be all anyone really talks about with us 'zombies'. Did you hear about Harry Potter?" he rolled his eyes. Honestly he'd heard enough about Potter Senior in school, he didn't need to hear anything further about that family.

He dodged, though not entirely on purpose, the question about adjusting. Mostly because he wasn't, and he didn't know how to answer it in a way that implied he was.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-22 02:26 pm UTC (link)
"Potter? No." Jaime shook her head. "Why did he do something? Save the world or something like that?" She grinned over to Regulus.

"Maybe you're just ... quicker to catch on than the others," Jaime offered. "I'd volunteer to help with potions, or ... something, but I kind of suck at potions." She paused. "Well. I can do well enough, but I have to work at it. I'm really, really good at Charms though, if you ever wanted help there."

Jaime shrugged and stretched a little. She was curious about him, sure, but she was curious about all the zombies.

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-22 09:08 pm UTC (link)
"Something like that," he said with a roll of his eyes, not appreciating the sarcasm. "I'm told I helped, though I don't remember doing so. Which is unfortunate, because it's liable to get me..." he trailed off. It hadn't been made public knowledge that the Dark Lord was back from the dead - in fact, there could be another reason entirely for why the mark had resurfaced on his arm - he didn't need to go spreading mass panic in others.

Funny, how he hadn't thought of that when he'd been panic-stricken earlier and had journaled his brother.

He shrugged his shoulders noncommittally to her comment about helping with charms - he didn't find that he needed much help there yet. Most of the movements and gestures and words were pretty much the same as he remembered, the only changes having been the introduction of new spells and things. But he didn't want to flat out close doors either - maybe there would come a time when he needed her help. "If you think you can teach me something I can't learn on my own," there was half a note of almost challenge in his voice as he said it, too.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-22 10:44 pm UTC (link)
"Bit in the ass?" Jaime finished helpfully. "Maybe. If you don't remember, maybe no one else does, and you can always deny it. Claim the books got it wrong, or whatever." She watched him curiously before she shrugged and moved to another couch, flopping down onto it.

It was quiet in here. There should be more people here. People should be more adventurous and hang out here instead of their own commons.

"I don't think I can teach you anything new, but Professor Chambers is always happy to help students and he's really good at what he does."

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-23 04:26 am UTC (link)
He rolled his eyes. "Fair cruder than I would have worded, though I suppose the sentiment is the same. And I could only be so lucky as to think that simply because others may be in a similar predicament where they have returned from a time before my betrayal occurred that this means I can escape the memory of it." He glanced sideways over to her. "Do you honestly believe that I can escape from Death Eaters with the statement that 'the books got it wrong'?"

He paused briefly, sighing, "Though I suppose you're right in that there are not many other options, and it's probably the best defense I have."

He nodded at the mention of Professor Chambers. All the Professors, really, had been quite helpful and seemed quite skilled at what they did. It often made him wonder if Hogwarts had become a much more competitive school to get employed in. He did not remember the Professors being this competent while he was in school, though that was perhaps back when he was caught up and passing the students in the next year and the Professors couldn't keep up with him. Here, he had too much to catch up on to be getting too ahead. "Yes, I've noticed that the Professors are quite useful. I am content enough to work at my own pace, but will be sure to approach them if I have issues."

He glanced over again, and he felt a sudden obligation to say something further, to keep the conversation going, but there was a reason why he hadn't really made a great deal of friends since he returned here. There was a reason why he hadn't had a lot of friends in his first time through Hogwarts too. He wasn't very good at this being social part.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-23 04:46 am UTC (link)
Jaime shrugged. "I don't know. I can't say I've ever met a Death Eater or tangled with one. Maybe they could. I mean, you were there, right? You would know what happened and if Slytherins are such great liars or whatever, surely you could lie your way around it."

Useful. That was interesting. Not helpful, but useful. As in, they have their uses. A smirk tugged at her lips. Maybe Slytherins back in his time really had been all about using people.

"Sure," she agreed. Since he didn't really seem the chatty type, Jaime shrugged to herself as she rolled onto her back. Maybe she'd go bug some of the foreign kids or something. They were usually fun to hit on, and most of them didn't mind snogging a bit.

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-23 06:47 am UTC (link)
He snorted softly. "Must have been nice. On behalf of all of the 'zombies', I apologize for showing up unexpectedly in your ... peaceful world," he'd been contemplating saying 'perfect', but he knew that the war in his time had sidelined any other pressing issues. Times of peril had a way of bringing people together that times of peace did not.

"Not all Slytherins are great liars," he said through somewhat gritted teeth - though any anger or bitterness was entirely directed inward. "It isn't as though it's a huge secret that Sirius has always been better than me at it. Suppose that's what got me into the whole mess in the first place."

And... he wasn't really sure why he was opening up to a complete stranger, and the realization of that caused him to stop speaking.

"Though I suppose I have complained enough for the evening," he hadn't, and his hands were still brushing over his journal, and his eyes were still glancing towards the door occasionally, hoping for some contact from his brother that he didn't really expect, but he was being polite. She didn't need to listen to his innermost fears, and likely didn't want to. "Did you want to have a turn?"

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-23 07:32 am UTC (link)
Jaime shrugged. "Was a secret to me 'til just now," she offered. "Guess not everything about your life is out on public display. Really, unless people are all up into following the war, or reading up on the war, whatever you did probably won't be ..." Jaime waved one hand above her chest in a 'you know' sort of gesture.

"Nah. I'm kind of level at the moment. Nothing to bitch about," Jaime offered helpfully. "Should probably head up to my commons or find someone to snog. Snogging's a good distraction, just f-y-i," she added with a grin.

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-23 09:24 am UTC (link)
He frowned when she mentioned it had been a secret to her, and seemed to imply she didn't know what he'd done. It truly felt, to him, like it was right there on display for everyone to see. But he supposed she had a point. Only those who were actually paying attention to and reading the history books - like Tom Riddle was sure to - would know what he'd done. The other students, and probably teachers, would be blissfully unaware.

Oh, that was comforting. Maybe he'd put in for a dorm transfer. Or a year transfer. Or a freaking House transfer. He thought he could put up with being in Ravenclaw if it meant that Voldemort couldn't find him.

"I'll... have to keep that in mind," he managed. Her statement about finding someone to snog being a good distraction had only partially registered, and he forced himself to focus on it. "Can't say I ever really... took advantage, during my time in school. Reckon I won't have much luck this time around either. I mean, what girl's going to snog with a zombie, right?"

It was a joke. He really wasn't looking for a pity snog.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-23 09:39 am UTC (link)
"Plenty," Jaime said bluntly. "Same reason the foreign kids are getting so many offers. Novelty, for one. They can say they snogged the dead bloke, or the foreign bloke." She spoke as if she had experience, as if she snogged daily, but truthfully, she'd kissed a boy once, just the year prior. She had several hangups and inhibitions that kept her from truly experimenting.

Though she supposed if the chemistry was right, she might forget all about that and go for broke, but so far she hadn't gotten past that particular barrier, despite her talk on the matter. She was fairly certain most of the school believed she'd lost her virginity at 13 in the wardrobe of an empty classroom. Who was she to shed any other light on those rumors?

"I could give you a list if you'd like. Whether you're into blokes or birds." Jaime shrugged against the couch as she set one of her books on her chest. She'd get around to reading it ... eventually.

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-23 10:46 am UTC (link)
He raised an eyebrow, genuinely surprised. "You're serious," he said slowly. "I'm a novelty snog?"

Well maybe not him specifically, but the returned dead. He knew that James, Sirius and Remus would probably be up high on everyone's list, and they were probably just loving that. But there was something very intriguing, and somewhat annoying about being little more than a novelty to a group of females, and not being aware of it.

"I don't think I require a list, no," he said. He wasn't planning on actively seeking these girls out - and he didn't feel the need to specify that he was into girls, he thought that would be obvious - "Though I'm curious to how you would go about acquiring one. Would you just... ask?"

Not because he wanted to make a list, but it seemed an odd thing for someone to go around asking, 'do you want to snog a zombie?' and making a list for him. Or worse, perhaps she'd be asking, 'do you want to snog Regulus?' He'd be horrified.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-23 11:08 am UTC (link)
"I don't really have to ask," Jaime said. "Girls gossip all the effing time, and there's tons of journal entries you just can't see because they're warded to the 'puff girls. So I know who's mooning over who, and who wants to snog a zombie just to see what it's like, and some how actually want to meet them and ask them questions about their pasts and the like."

Jaime paused. "I'm not one of them, mind. I wouldn't turn it down if it came my way, but I'm just not interested in the pursuit of novelties." That part, at least, was true enough. She wasn't interested in pursuing anyone just then. Especially people as potentially unstable as the foreigners and the zombies. Who was to say the returned dead wouldn't just drop dead at some point?

No, she'd stick to living people. People who weren't going to screw her over and break her heart like her father had broken so many women's hearts.

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-24 03:01 am UTC (link)
He noted her use of the slang term for Hufflepuff, having not heard mention of her house til this point, and filed the information away. He wasn't certain it was relevant information, but every little bit helped when you were learning about a person.

"Fascinating," he murmured. "So girls simply... post, in the journals, to other girls about these sorts of things? It seems foolish. What if your journal were to be stolen, and your secrets read?" he shook his head. He didn't think he'd ever be able to understand women.

"I suppose I should feel relieved," he said when she mentioned that she wasn't interested in pursuing zombies as novelty items. "It does seem an odd way to spend one's time, stalking those who have returned and those who are simply staying here for the tournament. It isn't as though the individuals are any different or more admirable than the students already enrolled."

He thought about asking her what she was interested in pursuing, if not returned individuals and foreign ones, but he thought that to be too personal a question for someone he'd just met, that may be construed the wrong way.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-24 03:19 am UTC (link)
"Honestly, some girls want that sort of thing known. They want other people to slip, or tell their crush that they're into them, so that they can find out if their crush likes them back without having to actually put themselves out there and face the possibility of rejection. Not claiming it makes sense, but ... that's how it goes."

Jaime grinned. "They aren't any different, but they're new. They're people we haven't been seeing for the past seven years, and one of them might be our one true love or something. So we have to investigate, experiment, find out if they really are just the same as the people we have known for the past seven years."

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-24 04:24 am UTC (link)
He blinked, and tried to follow along, but it was clear a lot of it was going over his head. "You're explaining it clearly enough, but the concept of it makes little sense to me. It seems an overly complicated method of initiating a relationship, and I highly doubt that it is ever as effective as they would like it to be."

He shook his head slightly, a grin growing on his face. "Do you suppose that ever proves to be true? The foreign student or the recently returned deceased ending up being of some sort of soul mate to a student here? I do not understand how this would be something to buy into. Is it because of the fairytale magic of it, or are some girls truly that desperate for attention that they would convince themselves of anything?"

He paused, biting the inside of his cheek a moment too late to stop the thought. "Apologies, that was probably quite rude. It just seems such a strange thing to spend so much effort focusing on from my viewpoint. I cannot understand the motivation." He shrugged. "This is perhaps because I am not female."

He realized, belatedly, that this was what he'd been looking for. Something to take his mind of the evening, and felt a sudden swell of gratitude to Jaime for that.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-24 04:49 am UTC (link)
"Girls ... don't make sense. Ever." Jaime quirked a brow. "I thought by now, even in your time, you'd know this by now." She paused. "Unless you never paid attention to girls 'cause you're gay, in which case, it's really all right to be out about it now. I mean, Tris is out and no one really gives him any shit about it. Maybe because he's a werewolf and he'd threaten to eat them." She grinned. "Not that he would."

Jaime shrugged again. "There's someone for everyone, right? And if you believe in Fate or whatever, then it's possible someone who was brought here was fated to hook up with someone here, so ... everyone here is looking to find that person, to be that one. I don't think it's desperation for attention, but who knows?"

She waved off the apology and grinned. "It's because you're not a girl. Our brains find the most convoluted, twisted path to an endgoal whereas boys take the straight shot."

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-24 06:01 am UTC (link)
He shook his head - apparently he did need to clarify. "Not interested in blokes," he said. At least, as far as he knew. 'Course, he'd never really been interested in much, so. "Can't say that I ever really gave girls much thought though, while I was in school. Too busy trying to be a model son and all that."

He'd never really focused on girls. He'd been waiting to be given direction in that area - who would be the best match up for Regulus Black. He was certain someone would tell him eventually. Not to mention that he'd been struggling with dealing with the peer pressure of succumbing to the Dark Lord, homework, Quidditch practices, being the subject of an unfair number of pranks from his brother and his blasted friends... Girls had been one of the farthest things from his mind.

"I imagine it must be quite taxing," he remarked to her statement about girls taking the convoluted path to an endgoal. "How are you even able to study?"

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-24 06:16 am UTC (link)
"Well, if you never thought about either, maybe you are into blokes and just don't know it yet," Jaime offered. "It happens, you know. Or maybe you're attracted to both and one day there'll just be sparks or fireworks or something ridiculous like that." She grinned.

"It's a challenge. We're very easily distracted because there are lots of little scenic views on our convoluted pathways that we like to ponder." She chuckled softly. "Though if that was your way of telling me to piss off so you could study ..." She waggled her brows. "Consider it a hint taken."

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[info]notsofortunate
2010-05-24 07:19 am UTC (link)
He was going to argue, but it seemed pointless. His argument would have been something along the lines of being a pureblood and tradition but... he didn't really expect her to understand that, so he simply nodded his head. "Perhaps," he allowed, though he didn't really believe it to be true.

He raised an eyebrow in amusement at her statement, and shook his head. He hadn't meant to suggest that she should go. "It was not a hint," he assured her. "But if you had somewhere else you need to be, I will not keep you. It was a pleasure speaking with you, Jaime," and he was surprised to find that he meant that.

His eyes darted down to his journal. No responses yet, but he had expected as much. He did think he was calmed down enough that he'd at least be able to try and get some sleep tonight, though, which was something.

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[info]jaime_davies
2010-05-24 01:58 pm UTC (link)
She didn't really, but she figured she could roam off all the same. Go somewhere less distracting where she could focus on the homework thing. Swinging her legs off the couch, she stood up and adjusted her clothing. "Nice talking to you too," she said with a grin before she started toward the door.

"And let me know if you change your mind on that list. I can get it put together in a couple of days, right?"

She laughed softly before she let herself out to go see what other mischief she could get into, or what other zombies she could talk to.

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