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Lily Evans ([info]emerald_eyes) wrote in [info]beyondthepages,
@ 2010-05-11 18:13:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!complete, 2023 10, faustus stirling, lily evans

RP: Tackling the Potions
Characters: Lily, Faustus
Time/Date: later afternoon/evening October 11, 2023
Location: Potions workshop, Hogwarts
Warnings/Rating: None
Summary: Lily attempts a potion or three
Status: Complete



She had her story all set up in the off-chance there were questions. It was a warm-up potion before she tackled anything more substantial for the evening. That was all. She certainly wasn't attempting to determine what Amortentia smelled like to her. Heavens, no.

Besides that, she had a feeling she already knew what at least one of the nuances of the scents was going to be. Why she was still skirting around the issue in her own mind, she wasn't completely sure.

James was a factor, but a very small one. He was sixteen, and he wouldn't grow up the same way as he had before. She loved him, he was the father of her son (even if he didn't recall), but she couldn't make it work. She wouldn't wait on a maybe. It was best to ... let him go and know he was happy enough with his mates. The fact that he didn't ever remember being with her to begin with was also comforting. He couldn't miss what he'd never had.

She was falling for Severus. Or had fallen. She was putting a ridiculous amount of energy into denying this fact to herself and finding any number of reasons to put off broaching the topic to him. She kept telling herself it was completely ridiculous, regardless of what Kevin had thought he remembered.

Though she hadn't ever asked Harry about it outright, nor would she. Lily told herself it was because she didn't want to put him on the spot like that, but she was in a very precarious position as far as her justifications went. If he even hinted that maybe there was something there, her resolve would crack and everything would tumble down.

She'd tell him.

Eventually.

Setting aside her stirring wand, Lily watched the fumes rising from the potion as they swirled before she closed her eyes and inhaled slowly.

No, no surprises there.


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[info]secretson
2010-05-13 05:37 am UTC (link)
"It wasn't really the stress," Faustus said thoughtfully. "It was more the black and white attitude of most of the other trainees and half the trainers. They were all good/evil and nothing in between. I had the skills for the job, I don't think I had the mentality for it. I tend to see the world as a lot more grey."

He nodded. "My Aunt remembers those days. She sent me an owl when that werewolf attack happened, checking up on me." He rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure what she thought I was going to do. I'm a Slytherin. We value our skins too much to go running around where lunatic werewolves are."

He hadn't been expecting the question. He hadn't even known he had expressions that were like his father's. It wasn't like Filius had ever said anything. So her question caught him a bit blind-sided and he paled and stared at her for just a fraction too long before recovering. "Uh, no, can't say that they have. Maybe, uh, maybe it's just a Slytherin thing?"

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-13 05:43 am UTC (link)
Lily nodded slightly, wondering where she fell on that scale. She knew she'd tended to be very much black and white prior to her return, but living with Sev and living in a world without a war looming was introducing the concept of 'shades of grey' to her perceptions.

She chuckled softly. "No, I've no desire to be outside on full moons. I agree with that." Lily shook her head slightly before shifting to lean against the work bench. "But it's nice she thought to write," Lily said.

"Perhaps," she agreed. "I'd thought you reminded me a bit of him the first day I met you, but ... chalked it up to the fact I'd been thinking about him and was just ... projecting." A slight smile tugged at her lips. "I can't say I've really associated with many Slytherins, so perhaps that's all it is. An attitude you lot develop."

Which made her wonder if she had things about her that would remind people of other Gryffindors. Then again, she supposed LilyLuna was simply a hyped up version of her with a little less tact. Or a lot less tact. Interesting to ponder that.

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[info]secretson
2010-05-13 05:54 am UTC (link)
Faustus was very much of the opinion that his crazy old bat of an Aunt would like Lily very much. Not that he was intending to introduce them any time soon because he knew that the topic of conversation would somehow get around to his father and his Aunt had been at him to do something about that. And if she was presented with the opportunity on a silver platter, she'd damn well take it.

He relaxed when it became obvious she hadn't picked up on his slip and he heaved a mental sigh of relief. "We have classes," he said with a deceptively bland look. "Two nights a week in the common room. You start in First Year. Got to teach 'em right, you know."

Humour was always a good distraction but he was going to have to be a whole lot more careful around Lily from now on. Although he wasn't sure how when he didn't even know what it was that he did that reminded her of his father. It would look strange if he suddenly started avoiding her.

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-13 05:58 am UTC (link)
"That explains it then," Lily declared with a solemn nod. "How to Be a Slytherin one-oh-one," she intoned before she grinned impishly. "Perhaps we Gryffindors should have done something along those lines instead of simply letting them all run wild."

She smiled softly over to Faustus before exhaling a soft sigh. She'd rather forgotten her earlier conundrum in light of the distractions, though she knew it would start to creep back once she was left alone again, or had enough time to think about it.

Well, she'd figure something out eventually. Or she'd give up and actually pull the 'lying in wait naked in his bed' thing she'd told Cas she'd thought about doing. Which would end horribly, she was sure.

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[info]secretson
2010-05-13 11:56 pm UTC (link)
Faustus threw his head back and laugh uproariously then he looked over at her with a merry twinkle in his eyes. "Perish the thought. Can't have the Gryffindors getting a leg up on us." He gave her a rather impish smile. "Besides... that would be entirely too cunning for your house, wouldn't it?"

He was, on the whole, rather glad he'd grown up without the kind of vicious inter-House rivalry that had existed during the wars. There had been some left over antagonism between Gryffindor and Slytherin since he'd come here not that long after the war but these days it was at tolerable levels.

He caught her sigh and cocked his head curiously. "Everything alright, Lily?"

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-14 12:17 am UTC (link)
"It would have been too cunning. Sounds like it would have required more organization and keeping to schedules that aren't Quidditch for our lot to truly embrace," she teased back.

She thought his laugh had slight echoes of Sev as well, but perhaps she was now simply seeing Severus everywhere.

At Faus' question, she smiled slightly before she shook her head. "Just ... coping with a natter of the heart. Attempting to determine how best to tell an older man that I fancy him. But I've done that thing where you make a mountain out of a molehill, and what should be a simple matter has escalated in your mind into some impossible obstacle that will inevitably lead me to doing something completely Gryffindor to thwart said problem, and I doubt that would be appreciated."

She paused. "Well, it might be appreciated, but it has potential to make everything seven shades of awkward."

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[info]secretson
2010-05-14 12:26 am UTC (link)
Faustus blinked at her reply. Older man? Hadn't she been asking about potions books for someone he was certain was his father? She didn't mean him, did she? Well, wasn't this seven different kinds of awkward... for him anyway, not so much for Lily since she had no idea.

"I'm afraid I'm not the best person to give advice on matters of the heart," he said with a rueful smile. "Longest relationship I've ever been in was eight months and sometimes I think it was a miracle it lasted that long. I'm just not good at... letting down the walls and letting people in."

"But... this older man? Does he fancy you?" he asked, wondering if this was a rabbit hole her really wanted to jump down but unable to stop since it might be as close as he ever got to his father without being spitted and grilled.

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-14 12:45 am UTC (link)
Lily chuckled softly. She hadn't really been fishing for advice, per se, but it had been nice to simply unload a little, and perhaps talking to an unrelated party might help put a few more chips in the roadblock, to start breaking it down a bit.

"I don't know. He's a little difficult to read and he's a very personal, private sort of person. He certainly doesn't dislike me, and he didn't want me to leave, but ... I don't know if it goes beyond that. If he'd welcome something more than friendship from me."

Lily was so very rarely insecure, but she bit lightly at her lower lip now before shrugging one shoulder. "And I know the only way to find out is to just ... ask, but I have no idea how to broach this sort of thing. It's not something I can just casually drop into a conversation, you know?"

She sighed. "I think he might. Fancy me, I mean. Which means we're both there, fancying each other, and for whatever reason, not making moves on each other. Bit ridiculous, if that is the case."

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[info]secretson
2010-05-14 01:46 am UTC (link)
Faustus reflected that there was a slightly surreal quality to this conversation... assuming they were talking about who he thought they were talking about. And he couldn't really imagine who else they might be talking about given who Lily was, what he knew and what had been gossiped about in the staff room.

He hesitated for a moment then decided to bite the bullet. "He's a Slytherin, yeah? We're kind of good at hiding things and... well, if you're talking about who I think you're talking about then from what I know of him, he's the absolutely champ at it. And it's my bet, not really know anything about the man beyond what's in the public domain, that he's just so used to hiding everything important about himself and he died right at the end of the war before he had any time to learn better, that he hasn't really figured out how to stop hiding and start living again."

He came to an abrupt halt, not really sure if he over-stepped the mark and definitely not knowing what the protocol was about advising someone to about how to go about jumping his father's bones. Not that he didn't want that to happen. Merlin knows, Severus Snape deserved a little damn happiness in his life. It was just weird. And surreal.

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-14 02:06 am UTC (link)
Lily blushed a little when he "guessed" - as if she hadn't been painfully obvious about it. This was one of the many reasons she hadn't been sorted into Slytherin; she couldn't hide anything to save her life, and subtlety was an art she hadn't dabbled much in.

"That sounds about right," she admitted as she rubbed at her cheeks in a vain attempt to chase away the worst of the blush. "I ... forget, sometimes, that he lived his entire life ... walking this little tightrope between both sides." She couldn't even begin to imagine what he must have endured, and how isolated he must have been. Pain flooded her eyes briefly before she shook it off.

It was over, now, and he was alive and free and had a second chance at things. They both did.

"Well, maybe I'll see what I can do about teaching him how to live," she said with a little smile. She certainly had brightness and energy in abundance, and she could nudge and push and eventually man up and just ... tell him how she felt.

Wherever it went from there ... well, she'd deal. Or it would go in a very pleasant way and she wouldn't have to deal ... she'd just get to enjoy it. Enjoy him.

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[info]secretson
2010-05-14 03:00 am UTC (link)
"He was pretty amazing," Faustus said with a smile. At least in this he didn't have to lie or misdirect in any way. "He was kind of my hero when I was a kid. I was so pleased to be sorted into Slytherin when I came here. I wanted to be just like him. I thought he was the perfect Slytherin." Actually his mother had always said he was too much like him but she'd had protection on her mind, he'd had hero worship.

He grinned. "Well, if anyone can, you can." He shrugged. "I don't think that kind of behaviour is just restricted to him, you know. I used to see it in some of the older Aurors before I quit. That sort of defensive wariness of someone who's been through a war. I think that sort of thing ingrains things in people."

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-14 03:22 am UTC (link)
It was really very interesting listening to someone else sing Severus' praises, especially when she'd spent so much of her time in school defending him from everyone who attacked him or talked down about him. An impish smile tugged her lips as she regarded Faustus. "Well, if you ever do meet him, I'd strongly advise against calling him a hero to his face."

But then, as a fellow Slytherin, she was sure Faustus knew that. Especially if he'd ... studied Severus as thoroughly as he seemed to have. Which was a bit odd when she thought about it. That Severus and Harry were ... historical figures of a sort, and both of them were a large part of her life.

"No, I'm sure it does. I'm sure a lot of my friends would have been different sorts of people if they'd grown up in a time more like this rather than the one we did grow up in." She thought James and Sirius were a bit too young for the full impact of the war to have settled on them, and Remus likely had a better intellectual idea about it ... but he hadn't lived through it, either. "There's definitely a difference. Even in their eyes. Just the way they look at things, sometimes. People who've lived through it, and people who've only heard stories about it."

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[info]secretson
2010-05-14 05:36 am UTC (link)
Faustus laughed then looked a bit sheepish. "Yeah, I know better than to do that. Slytherins are not heroes. Goes against the grain and all."

Not that he really wanted to think about meeting him anyway. Because that would be... worlds of awkward and he didn't think the man would miss the significance of name for an instant. Or what he looked like. Or anything else really. And that was a can of worms Faustus wanted to put off opening until he was ready to have half his hide flayed off.

"Yeah, I just missed out on it all," he said with a nod. "I was only two when it all ended but even so I was affected by it. My Mum was a pureblood who had to do a runner after her parents got killed by Voldemort for failing in something or other. She never really talked about it. I know most of what I know from my Aunt Eunice."

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-14 01:58 pm UTC (link)
She smiled softly. Slytherins weren't heroes. No, they left that for the brainless, brawny Gryffindors. Shaking her head slightly, she regarded him.

"I heard stories from Harry. He's been pretty good about answering most of my questions. I think he dodges some topics a bit, and I can't decide if they're too painful for him, or if he thinks they'd be too painful for me. He's a bit sketchy about some of the details of the last fight, but... I suppose I don't need to know every thought that ran through his head." She paused. "He did say he was there when Severus was killed." Her back tightened as a shudder rippled through her.

She couldn't even imagine. Didn't really want to think about him dying. Not while he was alive and well.

Shaking off the thoughts and the accompanying bad feelings, Lily flashed a little smile to Faustus.

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[info]secretson
2010-05-15 08:30 am UTC (link)
Faustus smiled wryly. "Yeah, the official histories leave quite a bit out as well. Admittedly the authors probably didn't know much from the Death Eater side of things. Those few who managed to weasel their way out of Azkaban probably weren't big on the idea of talking about what they'd done or seen."

He shuddered as well at the thought of his father dying. He'd always wondered what might have happened had the man survived that battle and the truth of his allegiances been revealed as they had been. Would his mother have contacted him and told him? He'd spent many hours thinking about that until he'd finally decided to stop because it was doing his head in.

"Urgh," he said, affecting a melodramatic shudder. "How did we get onto such a gloomy subject?" He looked around. "Must be the dungeons. They do encourage gloomy brooding and all that."

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-15 03:13 pm UTC (link)
"Oh, I'm quite sure." It perturbed her slightly to think that any of the Death Eaters escaped, were still living out there. And with some of them possibly coming back ...

Well, she didn't think it would be another full scale war, but she didn't doubt there'd be some form of revenge on their minds. Some of the bolder (or crazier) ones might act on those thoughts.

Lily was accustomed to being careful though, and Severus' home was well warded ... she'd just have to continue to be careful.

She laughed softly at Faustus' guess for why they were all gloom and doom. "That must be it," she decided. "We certainly aren't gloomy people, so it can't be that." She wasn't, at any rate.

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[info]secretson
2010-05-17 12:50 am UTC (link)
Faustus grinned. "Well, I can be gloomy but then I teach down here all the time. And live down here. And sort of haunt the place down here." His grin turned decidedly wicked. "Guess that explains me then. Must be an occupational hazard for a potions teacher."

For all that he knew he was far more personable than his father. But then he'd grown up in different times and in different ways to the man. Made sense they were different.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up on end a bit more. "I'd better get going, let you get on with your work and all that. I've got Third Year Essays to mark." He sighed and looked forlorn as he headed for the door. "Wish me luck."

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[info]emerald_eyes
2010-05-17 12:55 am UTC (link)
"That would explain a fair bit of it," Lily declared with a grin. "You potions professors and your underground brewing," she said with a playful shake of her head.

When he said he should go, she nodded and glanced to her workspace. She had come here with the intention of actually trying a few new potions, so she supposed she should get on that.

"Best of luck, Faustus," she said with an impish gleam in her eyes. "Don't be a stranger, hm? It's nice to chat up people once in a while," she pointed out as she opened the book to double check her necessary ingredients list so she could get started.

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