Esther (lilydahlia) wrote in betweenfriends, @ 2008-10-16 11:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | fanfic, ron/hermione |
Losing the Trio
Title: Losing the Trio
Author: lilydahlia
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,386
Summary: Harry dies - killed by Lucius Malfoy and Ron and Hermione have to cope with the loss of their best mate.
Notes: This is a two part post put together that I wrote for the Visible Infinity (Veiled Intention) rpg over at LJ. No beta on this. I hope you guys enjoy it. It was very emotional to write though our Harry wasn't very active and our Hermione wasn't active very much either.
Ron walked from his bathroom to the window of the small kitchen in his flat. He furrowed his brow, wondering what George's owl was doing there at this time of night. He opened the window and took the parchment from the bird's leg. It flew off, obviously not needing to wait for a reply.
Ron tore open the seal and read the short note quickly.
We've just received a message from Severus, and want you to know before it's butchered by the Prophet somehow. Harry apparently went out to where Remus' wand was found, and encountered Lucius Malfoy while he was there--Harry is dead. We don't know anything more, but we'll let you know when we do.
~George
The only words he was able to see through the blur were - Harry is dead.
He shook his head, dropping the parchment as if it burned. Harry couldn't be dead.
He stood there in the kitchen for what seemed like hours until a knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts.
He rushed to the door, praying somehow it might be his best mate telling him it was all a big joke at his expense.
He yanked the door open to see Hermione standing there with huge tears running down her red face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to crying big, breaking sobs.
Ron felt helpless to the grief that threatened to crush him. He wrapped his arms around Hermione's waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He didn't know when the tears started, but he felt them as they moved silently down his cheeks.
Hermione was the first to pull back and she moved them both inside before closing the door.
"How did you find out...about Harry?" she asked, her voice breaking on Harry's name.
"George's owl a few minutes ago," Ron replied, motioning to the parchment on the kitchen floor and the still open window.
"I was just leaving the Ministry when I saw Snape bring Lucius Malfoy in," she said leading him to the sofa before she went to pick up the parchment and close the window.
At some point between his reading the note from George and Hermione's arrival, it had started to rain. It was only fitting, Ron supposed. Harry would never see another storm or feel the wind and rain on his face. Harry would never have another tomorrow - a tomorrow that had Ron in it and them playing a game of Quidditch with Fred and George. No, there was no tomorrow to send Harry an owl, to meet him for drinks at the Leaky Cauldron. There was only right now with Harry gone forever.
Ron held his head in his hands, his fingers raking his bushy, red hair from his forehead. Harry was gone. And he knew he couldn't say goodbye to him for one last time. He felt numb as if this were a nightmare he'd dreamed about before - and he had dreamed it. Harry's death. Several times over. But the only difference was - he'd been there for it. He was completely helpless to stop it, but he'd been there.
Hermione's hand slipped into his and held it tightly as if she were afraid Ron would simply disappear. She hated how far apart the three of them had grown over the past year. She looked around his flat as she held his hand in hers. Her eyes teared up as she spotted the picture on Ron's mantle.
It was obvious from where she was sitting that it was of the three of them at Hogwarts. She squeezed his hand and got up to pick up the picture.
Ron looked up to see where Hermione had gone. She was standing in front of the fireplace - sobs wracking her small frame as she looked down at the picture of them with Harry. He rose from the worn sofa and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest.
"I can't believe he's just...gone," Ron said, his voice breaking on the last word.
"I know," Hermione sniffed, drawing back to look at the picture again. "I never meant for the three of us to lose touch for even a day, but our lives got so busy that we couldn't help it."
Ron nodded, brushing her tears from her cheeks. He couldn't bring himself to look at the picture - not yet. He could picture it now, in his mind's eye the day Hagrid had taken it.
They had been getting ready to board the train when he'd pulled them all aside. Ron knew that they were all smiling and laughing - happy in the moment to be together until the end of the train ride. And there was the promise of owls and visits over the summer keep their spirits high.
"I meant to owl him tomorrow," Ron said closing his eyes on the memory. "I wanted to offer my help in finding out what happened to Remus. I just kept putting it off with the shop being so busy..."
"I meant to do the same, but working for the Ministry takes up more time than I thought it would when I started there," Hermione said, pulling back to place the picture back on the mantle.
She led Ron back to the sofa and sat down with him. Her hand took his and her fingers laced with his as they had many times before.
Hermione had always been the glue that held them together and Harry was always the mediator during any one of their famous rows. Now all they had was each other.
Ron's grip tightened around her fingers as he pulled her against his chest. The silence between them spoke only of the intense grief that gripped them both at the thought of Harry. He held Hermione close, kissing her forehead as she tried to dry her eyes. He wiped his face, angrily brushing the tears aside. He hated himself for losing touch with Harry, but there was nothing to do about it now.
She looked up at him, her eyes red from crying and wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her into his lap, tucking her as close to his heart as he could.
"I love you, Ron," she whispered, closing her eyes on the pain of losing Harry so suddenly.
"I love you too, 'Mione," Ron replied, his voice breaking over the words they would never say to Harry again.
***
Hermione woke up to find herself in Ron's bed. She remembered falling asleep at some point and Ron carrying her to the bed. She tossed the covers off wondering where Ron could have gone. It was early morning - light just coming through the window. She looked down, expecting to see her rumpled Ministry robes and was shocked to find she was wearing one of Ron's old Muggle shirts. He'd even left her a pair of drawstring sweats beside the bed.
She took a deep breath, putting on the sweats so she could go look for him.
When she didn't find him in the flat, she started to worry that he'd gone off to do something stupid.
She found his house shoes and put her too small feet into them to trudge downstairs to see if he was in the shop. Surely, he'd closed for the next few days, hadn't he?
She found him standing at the door, looking out into Diagon Alley. The street was empty- even the bank across the way had black ribbons on the doors.
Ron didn't turn around as he heard the door to the supply room close. He knew it was Hermione and if it wasn't, he couldn't manage to give a sodding fuck.
He brought the bottle of Fire Whiskey to his lips again. Half the bottle was already gone and yet he didn't feel numb enough.
He'd put Hermione to bed, helping her change her clothes in her groggy state before he'd taken the bottle out of the top cabinet. He knew it wouldn't help and that he'd feel worse latter, but he honestly didn't give a bloody hell at the moment.
Hermione saw the bottle and rushed to take it from him. Only losing Harry or someone he dearly loved would drive Ron to pick up an entire bottle.
"Ron, please..." she said coming to stand in front of him.
"Please what, 'Mione?" he asked, raising the bottle to his lips again. "Please say everything's all right? That I don't miss him at all? That it doesn't hurt to know that he'd not coming back?"
"I know it hurts, because I feel it too," she said, taking his free hand in hers. "You took care of me last night - let me take care of you now."
Ron looked down at her. She was so small - but despite her size Hermione had always been able to rise above. Even now with the grief of losing Harry, she was comforting in the familiar way she handled things. He almost couldn't believe how calm she was being. He'd wanted to Apparate over to Azkaban and beat the last breath out of Lucius Malfoy. Even that was too good for the righteous bastard.
Ron's hate for the man seemed to increase with every swallow of Fire Whiskey. He'd hoped the burn of it would soothe him, but it seemed to only stoke the fire.
He took a deep breath and handed Hermione the bottle.
She let out a soft sigh of relief and squeezed his hand.
"Let's get you up stairs," she urged. "I'll fix some coffee while you take a shower. All right?"
Ron followed her, trying his best to act like it was just another day and he wasn't simply going through the motions.
Hermione didn't say a word. She was already thinking of the numerous things she needed to do. Her first priority was making sure Ron was all right to receive the visitors that were sure to start arriving later on that day.
She steered him toward the bathroom, turning on the shower for him. She poured the rest of the bottle of Fire Whiskey down the sing and put the bottle in the rubbish bin.
Ron simply stood there, not really seeing anything. He only realized he was almost too knackered to stand. He knew it was from sheer will alone that he still was.
"Ronald," Hermione prompted a second time. "Do you need me to help you or can you do it yourself?"
Ron nodded and started the process of getting undressed. His shirt came off first and then his sweats. He hadn't bothered putting on his boxers since he'd moved into his own place.
Hermione's eyes widened as she watched him for a moment before fleeing the bathroom and shutting the door behind herself. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen Ron naked before, but things were different now. Although she loved him, now was not the time to deal with those feeling. Thank God Ron had sense enough to know it too.
She made her way into the kitchen to write an owl to her boss that she would not be coming into work for the rest of the week. She whipped out her wand, finding the coffee and setting it to brew. She pulled parchment out of her work bag and wrote a professional letter to her superior. The coffee was done by the time she'd gotten Pig out the window.
She'd already started a list of things she needed from her flat and things that Ron's kitchen was in dire need of. She poured them both a cup of coffee and went to check on Ron.
Ron had been standing under the warm spray since he'd stepped into the shower. He wet his hair, but didn't pick up the bar of soap to wash himself. He'd barely remembered to pull the curtain closed before he slumped forward against the wall. The water was flowing all over his face, but he didn't care. He didn't even really feel it.
Hermione knocked on the door before poking her head inside. She heard the shower still running and wanted to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep or hit his head.
"Ron?" she called, stepping right up to the shower curtain.
He pulled his head from under the spray and wiped the excess water from his face.
"I'm all right," he replied, but still made no move to wash himself.
"Are you finished?" Hermione's worried voice asked.
"No."
"Do you need me to...wash you?"
Ron let that sink in for a moment before he answered.
"Would you?"
"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't," she replied.
He heard her move around for a few moments and then she was sliding the curtain open to step in behind him. He turned to face her as she closed the curtain behind himself.
He reached out before he could stop himself and brushed her hair from her right shoulder. She was so beautiful. Ron hadn't forgotten that in the months they'd been apart. And now she was taking care of him when he needed her the most.
When Ron touched her, Hermione closed her eyes and his fingers lingered on her shoulder a moment before she opened them again.
She stared up into his bloodshot blue eyes because she didn't want to look down and become distracted. She reached past him to grab the bar of soap and knew she should have asked him to give her his back first. Her breasts brushed against his arm causing her to bite back a moan.
This wasn't about pleasure - this was about taking care of Ron. She pushed the thought aside and lathered the wash cloth in her hand with the soap. She put it in the dish to her right and started to bathe his chest.
Ron's eyes closed at the feel of her small hands moving over his chest. He feared watching her because he knew what he wanted to do right that very moment. And it was the wrong thing to do. To take that sort of comfort from Hermione at a time like this - he knew he'd never forgive himself afterward.
Hermione made quick work of his front, averting her eyes when the temptation became too much. She let the soap do most of the work on his legs and that cirtain part of his body she couldn't bring herself to more than glance at.
She grasped his arm and pulled, signaling him to give her his back. She sucked in a breath when she realized his back would be just as difficult as his front had been. She lathered the was cloth again and started at his shoulders, working her way down to his arse.
She heard his sharp intake as she ran her fingers over the small of his back and then went lower over his bum. She let the soap go down his legs and then began to wash herself off very quickly while he was still turned from her.
He chose to turn around just as she was coming back up from having washed her legs and feet. She took in a sharp breath of surprise and put the wash rag on top of the soap.
"Do you want to wash your hair?" she asked, looking up at him.
He didn't answer, he simply leaned down and captured her lips with his. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted her - he wanted her comfort in any way and every way he could have it. His lips moved over hers urgently seeking her open mouth. When she opened her lips for him, he slid his tongue inside, tasting her. He groaned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against him.
Hermione reacted - it was all she could do and she was kissing him back the way he was kissing her. He tasted like Fire Whiskey, but she found she didn't mind in the least. If this was how she could bring him back to some sort of life in time for visitors, she would do it. And she would do it because it was what she wanted.
Ron found himself pressing her back against the wall, his fingers greedy for the feel of her against him. He couldn't help but remember the other times they'd made love. This time was no different even though he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. He loved her and she loved him - and it was enough for him to dip his hand down to part her wet folds to see how much she wanted him. She was hot and wet already and he let a groan escape his lips as he pulled back to look at her. He brushed his fingers along her clit and then pushed one, then two slowly inside her. Her eyes fluttered shut and he took her mouth again as he moved them inside her.
He was getting harder, just feeling how wet she was, but he didn't want to push her. He wanted her permission before he did anything further. He needed it.
"'Mione, I...need you right now," he panted, pressing his forehead against hers as he moved his fingers in and out of her, wiggling them to elicit another moan from her lips.
"I need you too," she replied, a soft pant escaping her lips. She didn't think she could take another minute without him being inside her even if the timing was completely wrong.
That was all Ron needed to hear. He withdrew his fingers and picked her up, pressing her against the wall. The water was hitting his back, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to be inside Hermione right now. Her touch was familiar and comforting and what he needed - what he wanted. As she wrapped her legs around his waist, he positioned himself and pushed into her to the hilt with a loud groan.
Perfect. She was bloody perfect and he took her lips again. He kissed her as if it were the air he needed to breathe and she kissed him back in kind. Urgent. Completely furious in his movements, he moved his hips as if he were dying just to come - to come inside her.
Ron's urgency was nothing new to Hermione, but this time she completely understood it. She wanted nothing more for the moment. She only thought of Ron and how good she felt that he was inside her. She moved her hips against his, seeking the same end.
They both came at the same moment. Ron could feel her contracting around him as he spilled himself inside her. If it had been another time, he wouldn't have wanted to come so quickly. He laid his head against her shoulder and breathed in her scent.
He pulled back, helping her to her feet. "I'm sorry, 'Mione," he said, kissing her forehead.
"There's nothing to be sorry for," she whispered.
Ron turned, washing himself off with the water still flowing. He picked up the wash cloth and washed himself and handed it to her.
"Finish your shower," he said, giving her a quick kiss. "I'll go have that cup of coffee now. Shall I warm yours as well?"
Hermione gave him a slight smile. "Thank you, Ronald," she said, watching him as he stepped out of the shower and closed the curtain.
She stood there for a moment, gathering her bearings before she turned and wet her hair so she could shampoo it. She listened as he dried off and dressed and left the bathroom.
She finished washing her hair quickly and turned off the now lukewarm shower. She stepped out and dried herself, putting her hair up in a bun to dry. There was simply no time to dry it properly and her wand was still in the kitchen. She dressed again and joined Ron at the table.
***
They were just finishing up when a knock sounded at the door.
Hermione frowned at Ron for a moment before she got up and headed toward the door.
"I lifted the wards this morning in case Fred, George, Percy, Ginny or Mum should come by," he called after her.