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Bran Wilder {The Phantom} ([info]lemortvivant) wrote in [info]bellumlogs,
@ 2010-04-02 00:55:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:christine daaé, phantom of the opera

Who: Lotte and Bran
What: A dream encounter.
Where: The land of dreams nightmares.
When: Late tonight.
Warnings: TBD.

Mirrors. So many mirrors everywhere, showing reflections within reflections within reflections.

Bran wasn't as alarmed as he should have been, turning in a lazy circle as he caught glimpses of blurred images within the glassy depths. It seemed familiar, as though he had seen this before countless times and knew what to expect. It was reminiscent of the sort of attractions the travelling circus had boasted, but surely he couldn't be there. He'd set their camp on fire the night he left and watched the flames consume everything, a suitable payment for the way they'd treated him.

Part of him realized this was just a dream, even if it was so unlike anything he'd ever experienced before, but somehow it didn't seem to matter whether he was awake or asleep. He blinked and the mirrors shifted, then again and again until they seemed to be moving of their own accord. He saw himself, a mask covering his entire face, among other things - orange and red flames, the faces of his grandmother and his mother contorted in what was either a laugh or a scream - but then there were things he didn't recognize. A huddled figure on the floor, reaching out with skeleton-thin arms as a woman threw something at it, half-fleeing in fear. A shadowy figure strangling another, a thick rope pulled tight against the poor man's neck. Glimpses of magnificent half-finished buildings and warm climates, somewhere dark and damp like the basement cellar he grew up in - then the mirrors went blank and stopped, nothing more than panes of indifferent reflecting glass.

There were a few beats of silence before a voice began to sing somewhere above his head, the sound starting off faint and growing louder each passing moment, like a radio signal gaining strength. Bran couldn't quite make out the words, but the tone of the voice was very clear - as pure as crystal, a shimmering thing that belonged in a velvet throat. But where was it coming from? Even though there was no visible exit he took a step forward, then another and another; but instead of smacking into the mirrors, Bran simply passed through them.

It didn't strike him as strange that he suddenly found himself outside, the sky above slowly but surely turning an angry shade of grey. The landscape was practically barren save for a few charred trees, bearing bodies hung from nooses that swayed almost delicately in the breeze. Broken shards of multi-faceted crystal littered the dusty ground, mixed with torn pieces of fabric and still-burning wood. It was a wasteland, a distant memory of destruction and and loss, but the only thing left standing - completely untouched - was a piano.

The voice had vanished, and for some reason the thought that if he played it might return seemed very logical. Bran didn't know why, but he very much wanted to hear it again. He ran his hands over the keys before taking a seat on the bench, beginning to play without the slightest hesitation concerning his surroundings. He even hummed along with the tune, waiting for the voice - his voice - to come again.



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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-04 06:31 am UTC (link)
At first there was nothing but the sound of the piano - for some reason it echoed, even though the landscape stretched as far as the mortal eye could see - and his own dark voice entwined with it. The other voice could have been nothing but a product of his own mind, he knew that; but some instinctive feeling told him that it was real. It had come not from himself but from someone else, and it was that someone whom he needed. There was no such thing as a bodiless voice, after all.

Bran almost didn't hear it over the sound of Mozart, rising and falling in volume as though the music had a life of its own. He didn't stop playing - he wasn't sure if he could - but he cocked his head to the side, listening.

He knew it was the voice almost immediately, not just because of its clarity but because of the emotion within it, something that was audible even from a distance. Feelings were an almost foreign concept to him, aside from the ones that burned like acid. But the voice's song was almost like a lament, and deep within himself Bran felt something stirring; a hollow ache that confused him and yet left him longing for more. How could it hurt and feel good at the same time?

Then it stopped, and he realized he'd had his eyes closed. His fingers continued to move of their own accord, even as he sensed the owner of the voice approaching him from behind. Her humming mingled with his in a way that pleased him, but he stopped when she did. Bran didn't know if she was simply part of his dream or if she was really there, but he did know that he knew her - somehow.

"You came." His voice was rich and smooth like velvet, a stark contrast to the face hidden beneath the mask; and his head turned ever so slightly as to catch a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye. "Are you afraid?" The bodies didn't bother him, but the distance she kept between herself and him indicated that they might bother her.

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-04 06:37 pm UTC (link)
If the voice wasn't a confirmation, the glimpse of his masked face was. Lotte sucked in her breath, eyes widening. It wasn't that she hadn't thought it was him (and him meaning the voice's owner and a vague connection to the shadows) - but with a body to accompany the voice it was different. Her eyes remained ln his back, as she remained visibly still. It was her heart that pounded, betraying her nervousness more than fidgeting fingers did.

She took a moment before answering. The question was almost redundant - of course she was afraid. It was him after all. Saying so crossed her mind as improper and her lips pressed together in internal debate. Finally she said carefully, "This isn't a good place."

She glanced to the hanging bodies and shivered. Rope was connected to him but...she took a step forward and then another. Close enough to see that he was alive and breathing and almost close enough to reach out. She bit her lip and took another.

"Can't you tell?" The question was as hesitant as the hand that went to his shoulder. She expected coldness, little better than the dead nearby.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-04 11:06 pm UTC (link)
He didn't know where he was, but unlike the countless other places he'd both visited and temporarily lived in, there was nothing here that made him feel the need to hide. Despite the fact that he was clearly out in the open, he felt protected - as if this land belonged to him and him alone. If he wanted to leave, then he could; and if he simply wanted to fade from sight, he could do that as well.

Bran didn't need to turn around in order to judge how close she was, nor did he want to. He didn't want her to see him, and the hand on his shoulder made him flinch even though the music never faltered. Even through the layers of fabric he knew that she was as warm as he was cold, but he liked his numb oblivion. It was familiar, and in that was a weak sort of contentment.

"No." He finally stopped, the chords continuing to echo around them even as his hands drifted down to his lap. "There is nothing wrong with this place. It's mine." As if to prove it, he evaded her touch and slid off the bench, keeping his back to her as he approached one of the hanging bodies. Bran studied it with detached curiosity, and as one second passed to the next, it simply disappeared. It was a quiet sort of event, and instinctively knew that the body was still there. It just wasn't visible anymore.

"If you think it's a bad place, why are you here?" Bran's voice took on an edge of something sharp, not quite anger but approaching it.

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-04 11:49 pm UTC (link)
As he slipped away her hand fell to her side, gathering the fabric in her skirt and tugging. There was a small part of her hurt by his movement - she hadn't wanted to touch him, yet she had. The small rejection in it prompted a mumbled 'sorry', instinctual and necessary. Her eyes stayed on him throughout, despite the overwhelming urge to look away.

"That doesn't make sense," Lotte said, frowning. anything it being his was what made it wrong. But her opinion changed slightly as the body vanished. Hopefully she asked, "Can you get rid of the others?" It only made sense that he had done it after all.

She stepped to the vacated bench, intentionally avoiding his question. Her back went to the piano as she tucked up her feet, inspecting the soles. She didn't care if her skirt rode up, debating ripping the bottom. That would be the smart thing for cuts, wouldn't it? They didn't hurt as much as they should have, but somehow that didn't change her frown or make her look up at him. "I didn't have a choice. He left me."

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-05 07:49 am UTC (link)
He wanted to look at her, but he didn't want her to look at him. She didn't like the bodies, that much was obvious, and he found himself strangely unable to begrudge her this one small thing. All he did was blink as he circled around the trees, keeping just out of her line of vision as he approached the piano - and her - from behind, and one by one the bodies were shrouded from sight.

"Is that better?" He lingered somewhere behind her, hoping that she said yes. If so, perhaps she might sing again.

Behind the mask he frowned, disliking her answer. "He left you." The words rolled off his tongue disdainfully. Foolish girl, walking on the glass like that. "Everyone leaves eventually. Even you." Oh, he knew she would as well, to be with... with someone else. She would run, because she was afraid and didn't even want to look at him. "When you sing, who is it that you sing for?" Bran knew what response he wanted, although he wasn't sure why.

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-05 02:07 pm UTC (link)
When she looked up next, he was out of her sight and the bodies were vanishing. Some of the tension in her shoulders vanished and she let her feet hang from the bench. Her eyes scanned the trees around; he hadn’t left, she knew that. The barest of smiles crossed her face and she called out, with a less shaky voice. “It is. Thank you.”

The smile was gone once the criticism came. She ignored the fact that his voice came from behind her and she shut her eyes. Though she couldn’t match up memories to what she was saying, Lotte knew what he was referring to. The tension that had vanished came back and she shook slightly. “You let us go. And I came back, like I promised. I swear I did…” She looked to her bare fingers. He should have the ring. “And I didn’t leave like Father did,” she said quietly. “I said goodbye.”

His question made her pause. “For myself sometimes,” she said slowly. “Or you.” It wasn’t a surprising question but it felt familiar. He hadn’t been the only one that asked her that. But it still went with a question of her own. She turned slowly, looking over her shoulder at him, plainly. “Am I supposed to sing for you?” Her shoulders didn’t shake; it seemed as redundant of a question as her being afraid of him.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-05 08:49 pm UTC (link)
His lips twitched in response to her gratitude, the closest thing to a smile he was able to form. Despite the sheer amount of bitterness she could inspire within him, Bran still felt as though he sought her favor. "Good."

He recognized what she said as something that had occurred to him in the past, although the memories were hazy at best. The thought that he should be dead struck him suddenly, a scowl marring his features. Dead. It couldn't be, unless she was too. She'd left, and... and there were things he was forgetting. He remembered an aching hollowness inside, and something which had given him more happiness than he'd ever experienced in his life. He brought his hands to his face, feeling the mask beneath his fingers, a stab of twisted disgust plunging into his chest. Hideous, disgusting, a monster. "A living bride," he said quietly, more to himself than to her.

Bran didn't have time to move, nor did he particularly want to. It was nice to have her look at him, to be able to see her face and look into her eyes. "Yes," he answered after a long moment, the idea feeling overwhelmingly right. His own voice had entranced many, but he needed someone else to sing for his music. Her. "You are."

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-05 09:35 pm UTC (link)
There was something about his reaction that made her stiffen. She didn’t move her eyes from him, nor was she scared she realized. It felt like another mistake she’d made; one that someone (who?) had told her not to apologize for. The name that came to mind didn’t make sense, though and she frowned, for multiple reasons. “I agreed – I mean – I’m sorry.” Even if she knew she would still have done what she did.

She bit her lip, before moving her legs around so they were on the proper side of the bench. Her hands stayed on her lap and she edged to one side of the bench. If it was anyone else at the other end of the piano, it might have looked like she was going to play. But she tilted her head to the side of the bench, next to her. An invitation as a whole was more pleasant that force, Lotte knew it. It should be a step closer to him no longer scowling.

“What are we singing?” The we was the strongest part of the question, even though it didn’t shake as much as others had.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-06 07:58 am UTC (link)
He shook his head slowly. "No, you're not." It wasn't said with any sort of anger or bitterness - it just was, simply and plainly, the truth. "You wanted to leave, to be with him; and I let you go." It was an odd sensation to speak so surely about something he couldn't remember, but he did know that he cared about her. Maybe even loved, but he shook that thought off and buried it.

Bran watched her curiously, doubting that she intended to play anything. An invitation in the form of a slight tilt of her head was unexpected, but his surprise was completely unnoticeable. He regarded her for a moment before moving forward effortlessly, easing himself onto the opposite edge of the bench. He was wary yet curious, but her question made him relax - albeit slightly.

He didn't speak, but the sheet music for his subconscious choice of song slowly became visible, spread neatly across the piano. He absently played a few notes as he waited for her response, whether it be reluctant or willing.

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-06 12:05 pm UTC (link)
Automatically her mouth opened to protest. That it had turned out the way it had, with bloodshed and fear. But there was something about the way he said it that made her shut her mouth, restraining herself. Instead she just looked down at her clasped hands in her lap as he approached the bench, feeling foolish once more.

She glanced up at sheet music when it appeared, frowning for a moment before giving a small nod. She’d never liked Dido; Lotte never thought she could kill herself if someone left her but…her eyes darted to him, then back to the sheet music. Something clicked and it made her feel guilty once more.

She sat up as straight as possible, old lessons coming back to her. Her eyes remained on the music, waiting for him to continue.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-07 07:22 am UTC (link)
He didn't want to hear her objections, because what was done was done and nothing she said could change what her final choice had been. There was also the pain of remembering that he would prefer to avoid - all the confusion and memories could be put aside for now and dealt with later. Bran watched her reaction to the music carefully, wondering if she understood why he'd chosen it. Despite the fact that the lament was sung by a woman, the emotions it could evoke surpassed futile restrictions like gender.

Bran tore his attention away from her and focused on the music, barely hesitating to position his fingers over the keys before beginning, a few notes leading into the aria before his voice joined in.

"Thy hand, Belinda, darkness shades me,
On thy bosom let me rest,
More I would, but Death invades me;
Death is now a welcome guest."


He paused briefly, turning slightly to look at her. "Now it is your turn - continue, and sing the lament of the broken hearted."

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-07 12:59 pm UTC (link)
Her eyes shut when he began to sing. It was comforting in an absurd way to have him actually there, close enough that she could hear him breathe. It wasn't a figment of her imagination, even if this was a dream, and that thought alone was almost enough to distract her from the meaning of the words and how mournful the music was. Almost but not enough and she bit her lip as he sang, a sinking feeling taking over her.

Lotte nodded slightly, willing her hands to unclench the edge of the bench. Tension wasn't good, she knew that. Swallowing, she let her eyes open, looking only to the sheet of music before she sang.

"When I am laid, am laid in earth, May my wrongs create
No trouble, no trouble in thy breast;
Remember me, remember me, but ah! forget my fate.
Remember me, but ah! forget my fate."


She fell silent, looking down at her hands rather than him. It didn't matter if her voice had sounded right or not, she simply felt exhausted over the emotion and meaning in the piece.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-08 01:48 am UTC (link)
The song was meaningless without emotion, without feeling - music was so much more than just words accompanied by the chords of a piano or the mournful wail of a violin. She could sing, he knew that - the voice that led him here was proof of that - but she needed to remember what he'd taught her, even if he couldn't remember when or even why he'd taught her in the first place. But this was just a dream, wasn't it?

Bran found his own eyes closing as he listened to her sing, nearly suffocated by a mixture of satisfied pride and longing. She might give him her voice for these brief moments, but there was him to consider, that interfering fool who he knew she thought about. What was his name, and why did it seem to escape him?

It wasn't her best, but he was pleased nonetheless - the emotion was there, but she'd held herself back. Was it the meaning the song held, that seemed to speak directly to him? Oh, he wanted her to feel guilty for leaving him, even though he'd let her go because... because she could never give him what he wanted and he loved her regardless. She should have hated him and yet she was here at his side, singing as she had all those times in the past, for him and only him.

"If I let you leave, would you come back?" The question seems to take a life of its own, hanging in the air between them and demanding an answer. If she was simply going to go and never, ever return to him; well, he would have to find a way to make her stay.

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-08 02:09 am UTC (link)
There was a brief pause after his question, before Lotte looked towards him. Her eyebrows drew together and her head tilted to one side. The feeling in her stomach was still there, but it stopped growing for a moment. Maybe it could go away was something that nudged in the back of her mind, before shoving it aside. This was a dream, right? She couldn't fix anything with that.

"I already promised you that," she said. She glanced at her bare hands, then back up at him, trying to read his face around his mask. "And you always come back. Even- even if it's years in-between." But she'd prevented that somehow. If she wasn't sure how she did it, she at least knew she'd been succesful into recently.

And that thought was enough to make her frown. Lotte moved to get up from the bench, tone apologetic as she confessed, "You're not usually in my dreams."

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-08 02:43 am UTC (link)
"I know." His voice was sharp, cutting viciously across the now-silent air. "You promise me many things - I ask and you consent." It was a terrible circle of anger, doubt and anguished pleas; but even now he couldn't completely rid himself of the suspicion that always seemed to be like a constant companion, a result of what lay behind his mask. The living dead was what he'd once been called, a well-deserved title indeed.

Bran knew his dreams weren't typically like this, and although he'd heard singing and music before, it had never come from a visible source - aside from himself, that is.

"Perhaps this is my dream, and you are in it; rather than it being your dream that I am imposing upon." It was his landscape, after all; his bodies, his piano, all his. If she was here, it meant she was his as well, at least for as long as the dream lasted.

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-08 02:55 am UTC (link)
She winced at his words, remaining still where she stood. There was no further moves away from him; but she didn't take her seat again either. There wasn't any way to deny what he said. Someone...she couldn't remember who, but someone had told her that she acquiesced too much. Here she was, nearly promising to be chained to him again. Lotte bit her lip, before the too-frequent words slipped out again. "I'm sorry, Erik."

He was Erik wasn't he? It was the only name that made sense, the only one that didn't refer to him as dead.

There was the briefest moment of panic before she shook her head. Eyes wide, she stumbling backwards. "No, it's mine." It had to be. "If it's yours, it'd be worse. It would have to be."

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-08 03:28 am UTC (link)
He finally rose from the bench, on the verge of telling her not to apologize, but the name she used made him pause. Erik - why did she call him Erik? He had used a number of different names over the years, but the one he'd always thought of as his original was Bran. Technically he didn't have an actual name, but he needed to be called something.

Why, then, did Erik sound so familiar? Had he used it once before, perhaps?

"Christine..." How did he know that was her name? He didn't know anyone named Christine. He'd never even seen this woman before. The confusion roused his anger, which only flared higher at her objection. "It's mine." The bodies appeared again, a sudden wind picking up and causing them to sway on their branches.

"They are mine, the music is mine - and you, you are mine as well." Bran took a step towards her, his eyes darkening to match the color of the sky.

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-08 03:41 am UTC (link)
She moved backwards as he advanced, an automatic movement which she didn't regret. Not when the glass bit into her feet and not when her eyes darted to see the bodies return. He'd gotten rid of them and brought them back, but it couldn't be his dream. She'd know if the dream wasn't hers, wouldn't she?

There wasn't a denial at the name, even if she knew she was Lotte. Or should have been. She had memories of his voice saying it, between pleading and shouting. She shook her head for other reasons, hands held out in defense.

"It's not," she protested. "I'm not-" The wind tugged at her hair, blowing into her and silencing her. Her left hand tugged at it as she looked up, terrified at the look in his eyes. "Please, stop it." Even if it was her dream, she didn't know how to fix things herself.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-08 05:17 am UTC (link)
Her terror only spurred him on - he'd never had proper control of his emotions in the first place, and it didn't take much to push him over the edge; although it wasn't quite as easy to come back from it. "Do you think this is your dream, and I'm nothing more than a figment of your imagination?"

Forget the fact that he'd let her go, forget that part of him knew he should be dead and not here, not with her - all that was forgotten along with his confusion. Bran seized her shoulders, his masked face inches from her own. "Promise me once more," he hissed, his grip iron-tight and unrelenting. "Promise me that you will return again and again, that you will sing for me and only me - no one else." His voice took on an almost pleading tone, although he still refused to let her go. "Well? Will you say it?"

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-08 01:23 pm UTC (link)
"You should be." She knew she wasn't thinking straight, being scared always did that to her. Her body shook under his hands and though she tried to step away again, she couldn't. Her hands fell to her sides, hanging limply as he seemed far too close to her. "You're not supposed to be real, you're not supposed to be here"

It was one thing to babble in fear and another while he was pleading with her. Lotte squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to look at him. It didn't need to be vocalized that she'd never leave unless she promised. She remembered that line of reasoning, explaining it to...someone. A friend. The only way to get away was to come back.

Her hands went to his wrists, uselessly trying to pry them off of her shoulders. "I'll come back - and I'll sing only for you. I promise." She didn't sing anymore; it was the easier promise to make.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-08 04:50 pm UTC (link)
He'd heard things like that before, the wording similar even if their meaning wasn't - you're not supposed to be here. You never should have been born. You shouldn't exist, don't exist; you're nothing. Flung at him over and over, although part of him knew she didn't mean it in the way the others had. That didn't make it any more bearable to listen to, though.

Bran slowly relaxed his hold on her, his eyes never leaving her face even though she refused to look at him. That was alright - in time he would make her see, make her understand. Whatever happened before was over, but whatever this was, it was different. She promised to come back and he knew she would, so he'd wait and wait until she returned again.

He finally released her shoulders, the landscape beginning to fade away. "Good. I'll wait, but remember - I see and know all. Don't betray me."

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[info]still_lotte
2010-04-08 05:34 pm UTC (link)
She broke away immediately, stumbling slightly in the process. Backing up with her eyes down, the ground became less harsh - if she didn't know better it wasn't there at all. There was a shiver at his warning and something finally clicked in place. Eyes rising to his for a last time, Lotte shook her head. "I didn't - I won't."

Another step back and she turned away, intending to run. The change in the landscape confused her, but she didn't turn back to him. His music and voice was gone, replaced by a shrill noise. A moment later she was awake in her bed, covered in sweat as she reached to shut her alarm clock off.

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[info]lemortvivant
2010-04-08 06:01 pm UTC (link)
Bran watched her turn even as her voice became fainter and fainter, while everything that was his - the trees, his piano, the bodies - melted away to inky blackness. He couldn't see her anymore, and in blind desperation he reached out to see if he could feel her--

And promptly sat up in his pitiful excuse for a bed, arm outstretched in the fuzzy darkness of his bedroom. Bran blinked, momentarily disoriented before he realized where he was.

It was just a dream... but it had seemed so real. Who the hell had the woman been, though? She had to have been a product of his own mind - how could she have been an actual living person? He'd had countless dreams before, mainly nightmares, but none had been like that. He didn't like the lingering sense of familiarity, and frustration prompted him to get up and open a window, letting the cool breeze calm him for the moment.

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