Grocery store; Tuesday afternoon; Sadie and Gabe
Gabe definitely saw the amazingly traumatizing dynamic of having betrayed an entire town, failed to redeem himself adequately and then be forced to live in said town. He was surprised anyone at all had been willing to give him a job, let alone provide a place for him to live that wasn't in the middle of town. He was grateful for it, and he pretty much did nothing but work his days away anyhow. Every now and then he was sent into town to make a delivery, which usually meant he returned with a new bruise and or wound. He couldn't blame anyone, really.
This was just such one of those days. He'd been sent in the truck with a delivery to the grocery store because he'd mentioned that he needed to go there to stock up in his little apartment in the attic in the top of the tractor barn. He'd gone in the morning, after everyone had normally already arrived at work. After unloading the truck, he'd gone into the store with a cart to shop. He had faint hand-shaped bruises along his neck that were almost totally healed. There was a welt on his right cheek that was midway through healing and contained dotted scabs. His hands were dirty but only because he worked on the farm now. His boots and the bottom of his pants had mud and caked, dried dirt on them as well.
He was moving through the main produce section, following a list he'd made earlier in order to move as quickly as possible through the store in order to get out of there and get back before anyone decided he needed to be mugged while packing groceries into his truck once he was finished. He reached into his pocket for the list and stopped a moment, in front of the corn, when his hand brushed against Sadie's locket. It had been a permanent feature among his pockets lately. Half the time when he was working, he had to keep making sure he didn't lose it. He frowned as he stared blankly at the corn and got a little lost in a memory.
Sadie had been doing better. She still wasn't over Gabe, but it was easier to get through the day without thinking about him all the time. Just a lot of the time. And when she did think about him, it didn't make her as terminally depressed. That was progress, and it was impressive considering he was still around, living within the walls. But she hadn't seen him, so it easier to distract herself from sadness.
And one of her current distractions was the reason why she was getting herself some produce that particular morning. Her baking skills had been steadily improving, thanks to plenty of determination on her part and Midian being generally helpful and awesome. Sadie's mom had a pretty good pie recipe that Sadie managed to snag the last time she was at her parents' house. She intended on trying her hand at the pie that afternoon, and then bringing it over to the bakery to see if it impressed her teacher.
She had her own list of grocery needs, and checked it over as she walked into the produce section. An apple pie required apples; that was easy enough. Sadie lowered her list and walked over to the table with the crates of apples on it. She picked one up for inspection, not realizing that Gabe was not even ten feet to her right, looking at the corn.
Gabe tried to snap himself out of his thoughts as he reached for the first piece of corn to check, but apparently he'd failed because in not paying attention, he'd grabbed a piece that was holding up a whole mountain of corn. It promptly started scattering to the floor and rolling away. Gabe let out a quiet expletive and started trying to gather the pieces and toss them back onto the rack they'd been on. He wasn't paying attention to where they'd rolled until he'd reached a few that had landed at someone's feet. He opened his mouth to apologize right until he saw who it was. For a moment he was more or less paralyzed, eyes wide as he looked up at her. After he blinked, he turned his head back down swiftly and made quick work of grabbing the corn. He murmured a quiet, fast apology and stood back up to move away from her personal space as quickly as possible. He'd rarely actually gone into town because he didn't want Sadie to have to see him around or hear about him being around.
Sadie had just put an apple in her bag when she heard a rumbling off to the side. She looked just in time to see the green mountain of corn come tumbling down. Sadie winced a bit and was going to offer help until she realized who had caused the corn landslide. And it was at that point that she just stopped and stared because her brain couldn't think of anything better to do.
She knew some corn had rolled near her, and that was bad because Gabe went to go pick it up. When their eyes met, Sadie frowned. She'd heard plenty of things about Gabe from the kind of townspeople who didn't have a lot of tact. She didn't believe most of the stuff she heard from these people. Most of it was shit about Gabe acting like an asshole and the loyal townsperson standing up and beating the crap out of him. It was still a surprise to see him with cuts and bruises, though.
Gabe attempted to make as quick work as possible of cleaning up the corn but he seemed to be having trouble keeping it propped up. He frowned as he kept on working at it, and attempted not to look in Sadie's direction. He didn't know if he looked as guilty as he felt, but regardless, she shouldn't have to be anywhere in the same vicinity as him. He apologized quietly again and hoped he hadn't made too much noise lest someone, either a worker or just a shopper, see him and think he was messing with Sadie.
Sadie tried to bring her attention back to the apples, but she kept looking over at the corn to see Gabe's progress. After about a minute, she swallowed and walked over to him. She pulled an ear of corn off of the top of the pile and then reached under his arm to stick it toward the bottom, in just the right spot to keep the pile up.
Gabe blinked when Sadie was suddenly close enough to grab the ear of corn. He almost jumped back when she reached under his arm to lodge it back in there but instead he froze and stayed perfectly still. He stopped staring at her and looked over at the corn when it stopped falling and blinked. The urge to reach out and touch her was pretty unbearable but he didn't, somehow. "...Thank you." He was surprised he could actually make himself say anything other than an apology.
Sadie nodded a bit in response. She didn't think she'd really be able to speak much at the moment. She glanced up at Gabe for a moment, and then hesitated before she stepped back.
Gabe stayed perfectly still until she stepped back. After that he finished piling up the last of the fallen corn. He hesitated, unsure if he should speak to her or just move away from the produce section all together and let her get on with her shopping. He should cut his losses and abandon this grocery buying expedition. He was sure he could get Madge to pick up groceries for him the next time she came into town. "...How are you?" He asked before he'd even realized he'd spoken. What a dumb question to ask. He grimaced at little after asking it even.
Sadie started to move back to return to the apples, but she paused before her foot even reached the floor in her first step. She looked up at Gabe with another frown. It took quite the internal struggle before she was able to produce sounds from her vocal chords. "I've been better, what do you think?"
Gabe tried not to frown or deflate too much because of her answer. He'd known it wasn't going to be a good answer but he hadn't really been thinking when he asked. He nodded a little. He opened his mouth to apologize but then thought better of it and closed his mouth with another little nod. He turned his eyes down to his feet and then took his own step back. "I'll just...leave you be," Which he had been doing since he'd been let out anyway. He pointed over his should briefly with one last glance at her before he turned around in order to walk back over to his cart. He should just leave and be done with it. Who needed food? He had enough to last him another few days until he could get back or have someone get him food.
Sadie watch him go with a frown. She caught sight of the bruises around his neck when he turned, and after a moment she took a glance around to make sure no one was watching before she stepped after him.
"Who's been hurting you?" she asked, kind of quiet so anyone in the other aisles wouldn't hear them.
Gabe stopped. He frowned a little, even though the fact that she might've been concerned was more than a little uplifitng it was also bad. She was supposed to get over him and on with her life and all that, right? He shook his head and turned around. He glanced around to see if anyone was around. Surely more people - Slate and Ketty specifically - would hurt him if they knew or found out he was talking to Sadie. "Nobody I didn't deserve it from." He answered quietly.
Sadie got a better look at his neck when he turned around. She took another scan of the immediate area and then shook her head at Gabe. "They let you go. They shouldn't be beating you up." She wondered if her sister or Slate had gotten in on that action.
Slate had not gotten in on the action after Gabe had been released. He'd figured there were enough people around that would take care of keeping him in line. Gabe still felt more than guilty for what he'd done, so he couldn't really blame anyone for attacking him. He was surprised they restrained from killing him thus far. Anyway he was sure they knew he would get roughed up before they released him, so, it wasn't that surprising. He shrugged a little. "People are angry." He replied as if it didn't matter when it really was psychologically damaging to wonder every time you went anywhere if someone was going to sneak up on you and kill you, or hurt the one person in town will to help you. He thought they wouldn't do that though since the farms were so important. Still. It didn't help one's psyche. "I deserve worse than I've gotten." He put his hands into his pockets since he didn't know what to do with them. He looked down at his shoes when his hand curled around her locket and not to frown too much.
Sadie didn't know if she agreed with what he said or not. He deserved something, that was for sure, but physical violence? "Has my sister...?" she trailed off and dropped her eyes down to the mark on his cheek.
Gabe lifted his head a little and looked at her. He shook his head. "No." He answered. "She hasn't." He shrugged a little. "I don't usually see most of them." He lifted and ran his hand through his hair and over the knot in the back of his head that was still there. The General had given a stern caution that anyone who killed Gabe would be arrested and charged just like any other murderer. Gabe was surprised that was enough to make everyone pull back and just beat him up. "I'm only in town when I have to be." He was convinced some day, probably soon, there'd be some kind of tractor 'accident' that killed him. Gabe had a lot of conflicting emotions at the moment, he wanted to apologize and to console her in some way, or beg her for some form of forgiveness if any. Instead he just let his eyes linger on her a moment before he dropped them again to try and avoid making this anymore awkward than it already was.
When he looked at her, Sadie couldn't look back at him for long. Instead she took another look around the produce section to double check that they were alone. When she looked back, he was thankfully looking down.
"Are you on Madge's farm?" That was what she'd heard, and it made sense given Madge's history of helping out wayward souls.
Gabe nodded. "Yeah," he answered with a glance up before he looked around as well. "Live there. Work there." Barely left there, "Came here today to make a delivery, but needed some food. Figured most people would be at work around now." He nodded.
Sadie turned her eyes down to the floor. "'Cept those who work in bars." Life on the farm had to be pretty boring. But she shouldn't care at all since it was his own damn fault he was stuck there.
Gabe nodded. "I'm sorry." He said before he could bite his tongue. "I've been trying to make sure you don't have to see me," He told her. "I didn't realize it was you until the corn," He looked at the damn pile of corn and then turned his eyes back to the floor. "I should probably leave," He said even though he made no move to go. His brain was kind of swimming with things he wanted to say but didn't think he had a right to say. So he stayed as quiet as possible and just apologized again.
Sadie looked at the corn with a frown. "Yeah," she nodded. "You should." It hurt to say it, but then again it also hurt to look at him. She wanted to be as far away from the produce aisle as possible, but at the same time she didn't want to be anywhere else. This love and hate stuff was extremely frustrating.
Gabe tried not to deflate or frown too much. He nodded. "Yeah," Well that settled it then. So it was gonna be live and work on the farm until he died or someone killed him. Gabe couldn't decide which was better, actually still being alive and doing nothing but farm work from dawn until dusk and sleeping while thinking about Sadie all the time or just being killed and put out of his misery. He nodded again and started to turn to go but then stopped again. He needed to turn and leave and stop dragging this out. She didn't deserve it. He couldn't help it. "I know what I did was horrible, and unforgivable," He told her. "I didn't know I was going to meet you, or what was going to happen between us." He said. "I didn't show up hoping to seduce you because the soldiers congregated at your bar." Hell, he couldn't have paid attention to what anyone was really saying to him anyone when she was around in there so it would've been pretty useless. "I know you have no reason to believe me, but I wasn't playing you when I said I love you." He frowned a little. "I...those things I said to you when you came to my cell..." He let out a shaky breath before he went on. "I thought...I thought I was a dead man. I was trying to make it...I didn't mean them." he shook his head a little and let that trail off. I'm sorry, Sadie. I love you. I wish there was some way to prove it to you." He shook his head a little and turned around and finished heading for his cart, not wanting to see her reaction to his rambling confession.
Sadie could only stare after him as he left, feeling her nose to start to burn. That wasn't the right thing to drop on her now, in front of the corn. Or maybe it wasn't the right thing to drop on her ever, because it only made her feel more conflicted. She really wanted to believe him, but she couldn't. So she didn't say anything, just watched him leave the produce section. Once he was gone, sniffled and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve before turning back to the apples. She wasn't feeling so gung ho about her pie-making idea anymore.
Gabe knew it was an asshole thing to do, but he'd spent a long time making sure he was out of her way and he needed to at least say something. Or he felt he did. Gabe frowned as he tried to finish stocking up. He started doubling up on whatever he could to make sure he didn't have to come back anytime soon. He didn't have to pay rent since his work more or less did that and he just saved whatever he could to buy food, clothes when necessary, etc. He tried to move quickly through the store and tried not to look too pathetic while doing so. Eventually he was stuck staring at the various egg and dairy products lost in a loop of memories that should be considered 'happy' but now just ranged as 'bitter sweet' on the scale of cliche things.
Sadie returned to the apples and spent a long time inspecting them, hoping to give Gabe enough time to leave the grocery store before she moved to another aisle. As she studied the apples, she didn't really focus on them too much as she kept going over in her head what Gabe had told her. Finally, once her eyes were dry, she decided to get going and retrieve the rest of the items she needed.
Unfortunately, her next stop was to get eggs. She came to the end of an aisle to head to the dairy section, and spotted Gabe just standing there. Sadie froze and debated what to do next. Get the eggs and ignore him, get the eggs and say something in reponse to what he'd told her, or just leave altogether. After looking at his back for a few moments, she opted for door number two.
She gripped the strap of her shopping bag tightly and walked up next to Gabe to grab a carton of eggs off the shelf.
Gabe was definitely caught up in thought, so when Sadie walked up next to him and reached out to grab the eggs, he actually jumped a little. He was fairly skittish lately for obvious reasons. He blinked and watched her pick up the carton of eggs but couldn't think of anything worthwhile to say since they'd already talked and he already said he'd leave. So he kind of just stood there, staring a little and trying not to frown too much, for a moment or two. Then he turned to his cart with the intention of moving out of her personal space again since she needed stuff in this section apparently.
Sadie didn't bother to check the eggs over for cracks; she just put them in her bag. Then she looked up at Gabe, who'd already turned away from her. She frowned. "I...really wish there was a way you could prove it too," she said, pretty quiet. She'd wanted to say it before he walked away before, but thought better of it, but now that she had a second chance, she decided to just go for it.
That definitely stopped Gabe before he could get more than a foot away. He blinked and stared at his hands on the cart for a moment. He let go of the cart and turned around to look at her. He was quiet for a few moments because he had no idea how he should respond to that. "I'm sorry," He said again. "That it's had to come to this," Since it was his fault and all that. "You have to know if there was someway, any way..." He frowned. "I'd have proved it already," But obviously there wasn't and he hadn't and now they were pretty much back where they started before he said it.
Yeah, they were. Sadie looked down, all forlorn-like. This was some kind of impossible situation. No way it turned out would have been good. That was so unfair.
"Good to know," Sadie said with a slight nod, for lack of anything else to say. She turned to look down the aisle they were standing in front of. "I need to go..."
Gabe frowned. This all really sucked. Then again, he wouldn't have met her if he didn't take the mission. He realized that was a really shitty way to think because obviously she would've been better off without having met him. "Sadie..." He couldn't think of anything else to say after that.
Sadie's nose started burning again. She looked up and arched her eyebrows up in the middle, you know, in that pathetic way. "Yeah?" she asked, thinking about how he could call her Sadie, but she didn't really know what to call him anymore. She hadn't even said his real name out loud since she found out.
Gabe swallowed even though there was nothing in his mouth. It felt really dry at the moment, in fact. He wanted to tell her that he loved her but without being able to prove anything, it probably meant nothing. He hesitated a moment, "My name's Gabriel Christopher Roberts." He paused a beat in hesitation again. "My father was a Colonel and my mother taught first grade. She died...when my brother was born. I was six." He cleared his throat a little. "My father was killed in duty when I was ten. We bounced around foster homes in Fort Thompson until I was eighteen, when I could join the army and make enough money to take care of my brother," He told her. "After he died, I had nobody. I was hollow, angry and alone." He lifted his eyes from the ground to look at her. "And then I met you. I never deserved you and I still don't. I love you, Sadie," He added at the end. "But I'll try to make sure you don't run into me in town again." He promised.
She wished he wasn't telling her this. He was actually succeeding in making things worse, if that were even possible at this point. They really needed to make a totally clean break. She'd been getting kind of better since he'd been out of sight. Maybe not completely better, but she'd done a better job of pushing the sadness aside or hiding it. And now she was back to where she was when she'd left the interrogation room.
Sadie let out a sad sigh when he was finished, the kind that wasn't too far ahead of an actual sob. "I can't talk to you like this," she shook her head and dropped her eyes down again. "I...I said I have to go." She gave her head one more shake and then forced her feet to walk away, down the aisle.
Gabe frowned an nodded. He turned around to his cart and started walking the opposite direction to give Sadie as much time as he could to check out and leave before he went to do the same. He felt guilty for bringing her close to crying again but he felt like he needed to tell her what he'd told her instead of her only having heard it from Slate and her sister.