Re: cal "lol got everyone killed" barton
1. Reading. Don't ask Cal to read anything, because he won't. It's not really that he can't, he just doesn't like to. He doesn't read books for fun, doesn't read magazines, he just... nah, bro, forget it. He doesn't have the attention span to sit and stare at a lot of words. It's part of what makes him a lazy typer, too. It's not that he doesn't know proper grammar and punctuation, but fuck that shit. So he's not very well-read, don't ask him if he read The Da Vinci Code because fuck no he didn't read the Da Vinci Code and the movie sucked.
2. Remembering dates. Cal's always the one to go "shit, it's Valentine's Day" or "shit, is it your birthday"? It's like he's always running late or on his own separate calendar, and never seems to know what the date is TODAY let alone what's coming up. This is a quality he shares with Jack, only that Jack's dyscalculia keeps him from assigning any significance to abstract concepts like dates, and Cal's just... bad at looking at a calendar.
3. Monopoly. He's not ... okay. He's not bad at Monopoly, you just don't want to play with him. Only you don't THINK you don't, because you look at Cal and you think that he's gonna suck at Monopoly, because he sucks at handling money in real life (which is the real #3, he sucks at having money). So you play him and you think he's gonna suck, and it turns out that he should clearly be an real estate shark in imaginary Monopoly-land because jesus christ he's a sociopath and suddenly he owns most of the board.